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Tabitha Blankenbiller

@tabithabee.bsky.social
1K followers 272 following 442 posts

The rise and fall of a Pacific Northwest Princess. 🌈 Substack: tabithablankenbiller.substack.com Essays in Salon, Tin House, Electric Lit, etc. Former columnist and teacher at Catapult

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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Hyrule Warriors: Age of Imprisonment is Zelda’s Rogue One—in this essay, I will….
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
Yeah sex is great, but have you ever had Nintendo validate the ship you’ve put 250,000 words and 2 years of your wild and precious life into in canon?
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
JUST SAYING my birthday weekend is AO3 drive weekend and I really want that mug........... donate.transformativeworks.org/campaign/don...
donate.transformativeworks.org
Donate to the Organization for Transformative Works!
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
Got the fanart I’ve received from my fics framed for my writing desk 🥰 What have you done for me lately, personal essays?!??
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Constance Boo Chile (he/him) @constancewhewchile.bsky.social · 13/10/2025
It’s never too early in the week to dissociate, divas
Samantha Jones being annoyed by a man at a wedding
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
Seeing a lot of stuff from people I used to know as a different person because 2014 was a lifetime ago, I guess? I wonder what it was like to just gently move on before social media 🫠
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
Why are the airport days when my writing is flowing like a damn TIDE the ones with absolutely zero delays, pure clockwork?
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
That thing where I am procrastinating on writing this chapter because I know someone's about to die.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
I’m helping to host a fan theme week and someone I’m lucky to know posted this fanfic that left me sobbing uncontrollably at 1 am in an Indiana Courtyard by Marriott, and if that isn’t the actual power of literature I don’t know what we’re doing here.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
My parents sent me this pic from 2nd grade doing Laura Ingalls Wilder cosplay and all I can say is, time is a flat circle.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
My child wants to know why tf it takes me so long to write a 140k word fanfic… “You’re still working on that?!” 😒
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
If I win our local tea salon’s best-dressed contest with this, I can officially say my gown is paying for itself/I’m a professional cosplayer 😂
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
Looks like I’ve got another 120k worth of fic to write 🫠
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
I know everything is bad BUT there’s new official Ganondorf concept art
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
I got an actually encouraging and thoughtful agent rejection for my novel today that made me feel something I’ve been missing all year… Wanting to … keep trying…?
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
I'm trying to write on my front porch, but I think....I think I see a couple of slugs fucking...? .... OH MY GOD THESE SLUGS ARE TOTALLY FUCKING
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
You know that essay you want to write but you know your family would read it and it would become A Thing and you don't want them to be sad because then you'll have to talk about it and you have too much going on for that?
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Got my Princess Zelda-inspired fantasy dress cosplay pics back today, so this is basically just becoming a loz fan account.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
I think it’s nice when someone says “your fiction feels lived-in!” because it’s a compliment but also yes of course it should because I am thinking about these fucking characters and where they live and what tf they’re doing every waking moment and I need help please send some.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
What I don't think literary writers understand about fanfic is that if you do it long enough you start to get amazing regular readers who drop theoretical thinkpiece essay comments in response to your chapters and it is a joy like nothing else.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
My daughter is running around the living room yelling about all of her K-Pop Demon Hunters ships, because apparently everyone is going to “smooch and get married.” I guess she must have been switched at birth. 🙃
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
We don’t talk enough about how hard it is to go from floating through a gothic library dressed as a queen for a cosplay shoot to replying to emails about managing the company Sharepoint. 😭💔
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 17/08/2025
Put up some thoughts about writing The Sluttiest Slut on the Internet up on my Substack today. tabithablankenbiller.substack.com/p/archive-of...
tabithablankenbiller.substack.com
Archive of our Hoes
The audacity of women writing women on the internet
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 17/08/2025
Still my favorite credit 🥹
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
Good thing I wasn’t having a full crying breakdown in the grocery store because my daughter is starting kindergarten in two weeks. That would be so…embarrassing…
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 09/08/2025
Good morning but especially to the Nordstrom employee who insisted I wasn’t old enough to have worked at Frederick’s of Hollywood.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
When someone randomly texts you “have you read All Fours by Miranda July??”
media.tenor.com
a woman with long black hair is holding a cup of coffee .
ALT: a woman with long black hair is holding a cup of coffee .
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
Dispatches from fan culture: it is astounding how much time people have to (1) find you and (2) inform you that you have chosen the wrong ship.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
I Wanted The Most Beautiful Renn Faire Dress Ever So I Commissioned It and Now I Have It and The Faire is This Weekend But It’s Too Beautiful to Wear Around Turkey Legs and Now I Have to IDK Go to Versailles or Something Instead: A Story of Hubris.
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Reposted by Tabitha Blankenbiller
Jon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 23/06/2025
Damn right!!!
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Rude Law Dog @esghound.com · 22/06/2025
Homer and Bart Simpson from the "worst day so far" meme
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
When your family changes over from watching you play Switch to YouTube playthrough videos because you’re not good enough at the moves 😒
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
I don’t believe in heaven and hell, but I do believe that I’ll be able to come back as a benevolent but bad financial influence spirit to haunt my estate sale and whisper “yessss girl you deserve it” in my preferred inheritor’s ears.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
Back to fashion writing! Because there's no time like the unprecedented to make a dream come true, I guess.
open.substack.com
The Wardrobe on the Wall
Sketching the skin you were meant for.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
Me: I don’t really have a type Also me:
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 03/06/2025
Just thinking about how I have never received as much male attention as I did walking from Union Square to the Ferry Building in San Francisco carrying two gigantic Nintendo Store bags.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 22/05/2025
Wrote a small essay about my dying legacy (lol) on Substack. open.substack.com/pub/tabithab...
open.substack.com
You Are About to Expire
Please contact your bank and/or therapist.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 21/05/2025
Maybe you didn't "never hear the song," maybe you didn't hear it until you needed to.* *I just discovered "My Body is a Cage" and I feel very stupid that it took 15 years or whatever.
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Morgan Jerkins @mjerkins.bsky.social · 15/05/2025
TAG HIS ASS AGAIN.
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Rebecca Solnit @rebeccasolnit.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
Oh hey, NYT, is it men they want barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen? So hard to determine.....
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Today’s my secret makeover 😏
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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
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Louise Seamster @louiseseamster.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
I don’t know man, what could it possibly be?
A list of bad-news headlines wrapped up with an Atlantic article headlined “Why are young people everywhere so unhappy?”
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
I mean, is there even a line between “midlife crisis” and “personal reclamation” or is it just the way the sunlight falls?
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
My current midlife crisis is deciding that all of my makeup needs to be rehauled because I can’t evolve with the same face.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
Just here in my hometown for the weekend trying to explain my “Your Headcanon is Valid” t shirt to my parents 🫠
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
I’m glad everyone bailed on being in-office this afternoon so I can randomly remember the ending of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and cry in peace.
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Kate McKean @katemckean.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
Well I'll be quoting this from @annasplat.bsky.social's newsletter How to Glow in the Dark for ages and ages to come: "Remember that a book deal is a freelance gig, not a summary judgment of one’s value as a person or even a writer." So simple! So true!
neonliterary.substack.com
Everyone passed on your book. Now what?
Did you flame out on submission? Did your publisher decline your option? Did both of these things happen? Here’s what to do when your career seems to have stalled harder than Air France 447.
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
I think it’s a little unreasonable that I’m being sent kindergarten open house emails when my baby is still an infant 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Tabitha Blankenbiller @tabithabee.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
Maybe someday I’ll figure out that the feeling that “I’m never going to write again” is the interlude immediately before Writing Like There’s Been a Demon Possession.
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