Sign in

Steve Syfuhs

@syfuhs.net
3.8K followers 575 following 15K posts

Noted idiot. Principal something or other. Runs the Windows Authentication team at Microsoft. It's my fault your password doesn't work. Mostly dog pictures. Might actually be two dogs in a trench coat. 🇺🇸 / 🇨🇦 syfuhs.net

PostsRepliesMedia
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 04/10/2026
The idiot in question
Small black chihuahua with his paw up side eyeing the camera
131
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 02/10/2026
DPAPI has some key escrow behaviors against AD that let you recover corrupted intermediate keys so you can always get your data. This necessarily requires AD (or Entra too these days) because there's no other escrow entity you trust. This is why local users prompt this horrid warning.
Set password dialog for local user warning that any data protected for that user is unrecoverable if you change the password.
190
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 02/10/2026
I suppose I should explain. Credential Manager, aka CredMan, aka cmdkey, is this thing.
Windows Credential Manager UI in the old Control Panel dialog.
59519
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 27/09/2026
Mood, again.
Small brown and white fuzzball terrier mix getting sniffed and making a blep face
0412
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 25/09/2026
We've all been there. Same response. 🥲
Busted corkscrew stuck halfway into the cork of a wine bottle
120
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 24/09/2026
Current mood
Very fuzzy terrier mix that's mostly white and brown staring at the camera
091
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 17/09/2026
Genuinely interested. Our terrier mix isn't bitey but she is mouthy.
Brown and white terrier mix with half her eye covered by a blanket
110
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 15/09/2026
New and Improved
Book: the joy of C
But "joy of" is covered up with "pain and suffering caused by"
092
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 07/09/2026
Correction won't correct cartoon meme
110
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 05/09/2026
Ish. Entra sends down a list of SPN suffixes when the user logs in. Windows then checks that list for matching names and sends the request off to Entra. If you run `dsregcmd /status` you'll get that list in `KerbTopLevelNames`.
010
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 04/09/2026
Wait hang on that's a bad idea, Jer.
Jerry Chen has followed you back.
120
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 22/08/2026
SEAMUS
Screenshot of the right frame with Seamus threatening someone. His shirt says "analog" but the "og" is covered.
130
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 22/08/2026
@mementomorty.bsky.social this is on you. Best to blame Jerry, obviously.
Morty's post followed by Jerry's.
1100
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 19/08/2026
Reaching the bottom of the barrel these days
Screenshot of a junk campaign asking me to give them $3500 to get featured as a business leader
360
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 16/08/2026
Same with this one. Eleven this year. Still a monster going strong. Probably not as gassy as the Boston.
Brown white and gray terrier mix under a blamket
120
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 16/08/2026
My...what? Why didn't you people tell me I could be an influencer that does nothing and just receives gifts??
Screenshot of a reddit ad: use <brand> to manage your gift-only influencer campaigns.

Picture of a woman in a bikini (obviously)
150
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 07/08/2026
Yooooink
Last panel of the comic with the response blacked out "you're remarkably self-aware for being such a complete dipshit."
000
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 04/08/2026
Wet rat didn't appreciate getting a bath.
Small brown and gray terrier mix soaking wet sticking her tongue outSame dog looking at the camera without the tongue questioning revenge
020
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 21/07/2026
My dog is named Bruce. After Bruce Wayne. Nothing silly about him whatsoever. Not a thing. Nope.
Small black chihuahua scrunched in the arms of someoneSame black chihuahua dressed as batman. He is the night.Same black chihuahua in same outfit but with camera flash lighting up his eyes
170
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 20/07/2026
I save this for important moments
Battery screenshot showing 1%
3110
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 15/07/2026
I'm not saying But I am saying
Guy doublefisting hard alcohol drinks while being attacked by a dinosaur
150
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 14/07/2026
Can I offer a bit of color commentary
1260
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 10/07/2026
Me: Pfft, stupid sign. I'll do what I want. *attacked by birds* Me: coincidence
Sign that says please do not feed the seagullz
2110
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 07/07/2026
I have questions
Email with the text "design with Toshiba" followed by Japanese and "MOSFET"
130
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 05/07/2026
Hello, giraffe.
Giraffe standing tall
1120
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 01/07/2026
What are you trying to tell me Google What do you know that I don't know
Google maps showing a route south to the ball park with the only location highlighted the Seattle Infectious Disease Clinic
290
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 30/06/2026
What's wrong with that you ask? A myriad of things, least of which is this. The crypto is easily crackable because it's fast. Usually we like fast crypto, however this is the one place we realllllly need it to be slow. Oops. Moore's Law biting us.
NTLM cracking effort at 1.22 TH/s ~= 30 3080s

On a span of effort that's mostly to the left of a graph showing what a single GPU vs 'your friendly neighborhood intelligence agency' can do.
120
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 30/06/2026
It's a challenge response. Client tells the server "yo, I wanna auth". The server ignores the tone and says "halt, papers please". Client says "fineeeee" and does an MD4 hash of the user password, HMACs the server's challenge with the hashed password as a key and sends it back. Server ACKs.
30 Seconds to Explain How NTLM Works

Server: 
“halt, who are you?”

Client: 
hmac(“halt, who are you?”, username, password)

Server: 
“Oh, okay. Carry on.”
130
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 30/06/2026
For those wondering about the specifics and don't want to watch me crack bad jokes... NTLM is bad because the crypto is...well, it's shit. MD4! It uses a fricken MD4 hash of your password as a key to sign a challenge response.
Bad Crypto

hmac_md5(
	“halt, who are you?”, 
	username, 
	md4(password)
)
120
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 30/06/2026
(Sorry sorry)
1110
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 29/06/2026
You know what. Good for you, bot. Real contours do wiggle.
Screenshot: the terrain is just Gaussians and sine waves. Real contours wiggle
020
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 29/06/2026
Is this a friendly bug or an asshole bug?
A flying insect that looks bee-like
120
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 28/06/2026
I have found my new response to everything this week.
0101
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 26/06/2026
I...did not expect that.
Zohran Mamdani...wat
160
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 18/06/2026
Scorch (1992)
A picture of a rubber movie prop of a dragon decked out in 1300 year old clothes
050
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 18/06/2026
Only if they bring the shield back
Strategic air command patch in green and black with a gloved hand holding lightning bolts and olive branches
030
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 08/06/2026
Small black chihuahua in a white bumble costume
090
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 07/06/2026
Come to Seattle. Our summer was yesterday for 17 min.
Seattle
50°
Feels 44°
It may be cloudy now, but look on the bright side: you could be dead.
110
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 02/06/2026
And that's the keynote
Mass of people leaving the keynote
060
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 01/06/2026
Build is happening. "Expert" though 😬
Microsoft Build badge with my name and title on it
10452
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 01/06/2026
Dammit @jcsalterego.bsky.social
We're sorry! The post you are replying to has been deleted.
Jerry Chen
the new york knickerbockers implies the existence of the new york meterbockers and the new york yankeebockers
It's true but the yankeebockers actually existed and were called the gstringbockers
240
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 01/06/2026
Oh hey by the way. They convinced me to go to Build this year. Things are happening. Might maybe be an interesting keynote.
San Francisco, CA
Flight 725
ON TIME
DEPARTING 8:43 am
BOARDINg 8:03 am
GATE
Boarding in 1h 14m
1140
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 28/05/2026
I mean
Screenshot: Area_to_be_avoided_-_Florida
191
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 26/05/2026
Re: Fwd: Offer to Purchase Microsoft
Steve,

Circling back on my previous message.

Would you be open to a brief conversation?

On Sat, May 23, 2026 2:05 PM, Gretchen Thornton <gretchen.thornton@thestrategicstrategiesflows.help>
[gretchen.thornton@thestrategicstrategiesflows.help]> wrote:

> Hey Steve,
>
> Hope this email finds you well. Wanted to see if I could get a hold of you regarding Microsoft. We have a private equity firm that is currently acquiring businesses in your industry.
>
> Are you available Friday in the afternoon to discuss the opportunity?
>
> Best,
> Zulema Sanders
> Analyst, Mergers & Acquisitions
>
>
>
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ---------
> From: George Sullivan
> Date: Mon, May 18, 2026 at 1:47 PM
> Subject: Microsoft – please get in touch
> To: Zulema Sanders
>
>
> Zulema,
>
> We're going to continue efforts on acquistions for current platform. Can you get in touch with Microsoft? They are fairly similar to our last acquisition and would be good to learn more about them to see if there is fit/interest in exiting.
>
> Thanks
>
15837
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 23/05/2026
...because I was looking for this jerk. (33.783544, -117.999958) And then said screw it. Lets pan around and see what I remember from growing up in this area 25-37 years ago.
Satellite image of the thing that is about to go kaboom in Orange County
030
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 23/05/2026
I had searched "Forget me not hill" because I was dicking around on satellite maps and came across this curious structure and wanted to know what it was (33.918327, -117.529658)
Forget me not hill, on satellite map
230
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 23/05/2026
Whyyyy
Search result: amazon, "watch psych | prime video" with an image of Sherlock
251
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 21/05/2026
@nuclearanthro.bsky.social kitties!
171
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 21/05/2026
This is the funniest text message I've received in my life
Today 8:28 AM
Can you turn off my light. I can't link it to my account and it's been playing mariachi music since 6:30
7:30
2170
Steve Syfuhs @syfuhs.net · 19/05/2026
Holy crap it went after Russia too
Shiv's post followed by "Warehouses are on fire in Moscow"
010