Sign in

Tom Swanson

@swansontea.bsky.social
324 followers 124 following 7.6K posts

Retired clockmaker of the atomic persuasion. Formerly at the US Naval Observatory. About half of what I post isn’t serious. It’s up to you to figure out which half.

PostsRepliesMedia
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 6h
Two physical things actors tend to not pull off realistically 1. Shoot a pistol (they usually push it instead of having it recoil) 2. Carry or lift something that is supposed to be heavy (you can tell it’s a much lighter prop)
000
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 7h
God is great by weight, not volume. Some settling can occur.
010
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Immigrant Punk @porcupunk.eurosky.social · 09/09/2026
You cannot co-exist with people who don't want you to exist at all.
A yellow rectangular sticker resembling a warning or yield sign with a thin black border is stuck to a dark, textured brown metallic surface. The sticker features bold, capitalized black text that reads: "YOU CANNOT CO-EXIST WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT YOU TO EXIST AT ALL."
316354
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 23h
A bit of a changeup here. If the pattern were followed he would’ve named it American Intelligence
030
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
What are the odds that this whole scenario was fueled by an ai hallucination?
001
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Senate republicans introducing legislation to make it illegal for sports teams to have similar names
011
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Viewer, their remote lowered
000
Reposted by Tom Swanson
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Most people don't expect you to fire a trebuchet at their house, that's what makes it such a fun surprise
528360
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Ryan North @ryannorth.ca · 28/09/2026
came across this classic ASW and i gotta say: STILL GREAT www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id...
I figured out how to be happy / but I can't tell you. / You not knowing is a big part of it.
14754125
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
When your product sucks, some people make a better product. Others go hard on marketing
010
Reposted by Tom Swanson
The Onion @theonion.com · 28/09/2026
You Can Be Anything You Want, Says Fictional Character theonion.com/you-can-be-anything-yo…
You Can Be Anything You Want, Says Fictional Character
292810367
Reposted by Tom Swanson
💠𝑺𝒄𝒉𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒛𝒊𝒆𝑷𝒊𝒆💠 @schultziepie.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Please share. #Pinks
girlyfeminist girlyfeminist
l've been a SA advocate for decades:
NEVER go to campus resources for a SA. Call a rape care hotline/program (off campus), get a SA advocate (they're free), go to a SART hospital for care (and evidence collection if you choose).
They activate the police. Schools have NO business in this process and will minimize and bury it. It's a criminal matter, not an administrative matter.
Period. No exceptions.
321475676
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Langley is where the CIA HQ is located. Nice try, Big Brother.
000
Reposted by Tom Swanson
James Ball @jamesrball.com · 27/09/2026
Exit, pursued by a fucking bear
1312711
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Dan O’Sullivan @osullyville.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Today I saw the new 4 hour documentary Musk, directed by Alex Gibney. There were too many times to count that a sold out theater burst out laughing at Elon Musk, something he said or did, even sometimes just how he looked. I believe that is his worst nightmare come to life.
14195032193
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
How do not real people spend real money? Who is allegedly defrauding whom?
100
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“We put the camera at breast level. Everyone will agree that’s a much better solution”
020
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“We got bad press, so we changed our minds. We didn’t think it through and see the obvious, but that’s the FIRST time this has ever happened”
120
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Undulate implies the existence of unduearly and undu. These are all identical actions but they differ in phase
000
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Is the next step buying up every ticket to every showing so nobody can see it?
000
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Officer Benson is going to be SO traumatized by this
100
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Carl T. Bergstrom @carlbergstrom.com · 26/09/2026
Does my Speak-n-Spell feel pain when I type O-U-C-H? The jury is out. Philosophers and neuroscientists say that's fucking stupid, but I called a guy from the Center for Pretending that Household Electronics Are Sentient and he said there's no way to know for sure.
5843151182
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Man in blue work clothes pushing a cart carrying a crate through a space with many stacked crates. End scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark
010
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
<Nuclear/particle physicist, drowning their sorrows in a bar after being in the lab> “There are no coincidences…”
000
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I basically said what you told me to (klaatu barada necktie) so the weather should be fine this weekend
A fire pit bowl with a lot of flaming stuff in it on asphalt with some vegetation in the background
000
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
raise their goddam taxes holy shit
331626277
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 25/09/2026
Voyager Instruments xkcd.com/3302/
 3-panel comic. (1) [Person with shoulder-length hair gestures at diagrams on wall in front of table with three people.] PERSON 1: As the radioactive power source on *Voyager 1* weakens, we’ve been turning instruments off to conserve power. (2) PERSON 1: Only two instruments remain. Do we want to lose the plasma wave subsystem or the magnetometer? (3) PERSON 2 with ponytail: You know, if we just turned off Greg’s LED underlighting– PERSON 4 with short hair: Absolutely not. PERSON 3: Dammit, Greg. PERSON 4: I will *not* allow us to look uncool in front of aliens.
253053429
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fave has to be the purchase document describing our “bonified need” for something A close second is the message sent to Cock Development (vs Clock Development, my division in the Precise Time Dept)
010
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Going through papers at my mom’s. This is a letter I sent home while I was a very busy grad student
Part of a manilla computer punch card with a bold letter L written with a black marker
000
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
(posted with alt text) Don’t worry, they wouldn't comment anyway - they‘ve been really busy and haven’t heard anything about it
Post by Ron Filipkowski: Pretty wild that the Texas Cattle Ranchers association is saying that deportations are affecting beef prices in the US because of labor shortages but Republican politicians and candidates never seem to get asked about that.
000
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
New album just dropped
010
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Amanda Kolson Hurley @amandakhurley.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Person enraged that Trump stopped minting pennies
0493
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Rumor is that Kash Patel has been getting “I ❤️ Ewe” greeting cards, even though it’s nowhere near Valentines day
010
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Don’t anthropomorphize ai. They HATE that.
000
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Tom Gauld @tomgauld.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My latest @newscientist.com cartoon. many more here: www.newscientist.com/author/tom-gauld/
Image: A graph with lots of red dots clustered together in a curve. The are all looking upwards at a single red dot wearing sunglasses. 

Caption: Mike was an outlier and would probably be excluded from the study, but all the other data points secretly thought he was really cool.
332864727
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I will not be out-dad joked
1638633
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Pentagon officials are staying up late trying to find a democrat to blame this on
000
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This is the least surprising thing of 2026.
1135
Reposted by Tom Swanson
The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
“You might wanna sit down for this one.” Ex DOJ pardon attorney @lawyeroyer.com says the DOJ lawyer defending Trump’s media ban is a Hitler admirer.
48614306
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Are you suggesting it doesn’t? Why have so many people recorded cover versions?
020
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I’ll tell you what, it’s neither of the clock facilities I helped build at the Naval Observatory. No siree Bob!
140
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
We had these in the physics department in college. You could do crude graphics because the screen was mapped into memory, so you could display various things using the POKE function (or read the value with PEEK)
020
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Child: This is my first time meeting a mayor. Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister? Child: No Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over*
776285754856
Reposted by Tom Swanson
TW @twesq.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
this is fantastic and I learned something new
562712413
Reposted by Tom Swanson
arr @arr.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This makes me hopeful. This number is aspirational but nowhere near out of reach: a working professional could realistically cash out their 401k and buy off a public official. Owning a senator is more attainable for most Americans than home ownership.
6146781032
Reposted by Tom Swanson
scruss @scruss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Hey! It's *Be Unbearably Smug About Metric Day* again! This commemorates 1999-09-23, when the NASA/JPL Mars Climate Orbiter splashed itself across the Martian atmosphere. A contractor returned sensor numbers in lbf⋅s instead of N⋅s #metric
042
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
“Superhot plasma” has to be read in Dr. Evil’s voice
000
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 22/09/2026
Tyrannosaurus xkcd.com/3300/
Comic. [Person with long hair pointing to diagram with Tyrannosaurus Rex standing next to a person.] PERSON: We now believe the primary prey of Tyrannosaurus Rex was these humans who kept standing next to it for scale.
91121082094
Reposted by Tom Swanson
John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 22/09/2026
Look goddamnit It's entirely possible To eat a plum And not make a poem about it The one I just ate Wasn't even in the Goddamn refrigerator Or anything Sometimes a plum Is just a plum You can just eat it And go on with your life WHAT Why are you looking at me What'd I do now (looks) oh GODDAMNIT
752144303
Tom Swanson @swansontea.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Trump identifies with ai. Built on theft, no ethics, and constantly hallucinating answers.
110