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John Hansen🦞 🖖

@suburbanerd.bsky.social
222 followers 279 following 1.1K posts

Saint John / Menaquesk Lovingly hand crafting posts I alone often find hilarious. Please read me in the Beaverton: thebeaverton.com/author/johnhansen

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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 3h
I guess shooting a famous guy on a busy street and then talking about it in interviews and your own memoirs is no longer considered the perfect crime.
cbc.ca
Duane (Keffe D) Davis gets 40 years to life in prison for murder of Tupac Shakur | CBC News
Duane (Keffe D) Davis received a sentence of to 40 years to life in prison Tuesday for orchestrating the murder of rap icon Tupac Shakur, who was gunned down off the Las Vegas Strip over 30 years ago.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 6h
And, thanks to all that toxic masculinity they’ve been farming, high school drama clubs these days are mostly girls, anyway. There’s gonna be some cross dressing.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 6h
So … *do* you wanna funk?
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 7h
But will she even last long enough for you to find a wig?
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 8h
I enjoyed Below on Netflix but for my money, this is still my favourite Newfoundland mudder.
youtu.be
Mudder, I'm Stuck
YouTube video by Pam Rose
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10h
His out-of-office message lists Jesus as his contact so…
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 11h
I had older siblings. They made sure I knew. But also in grade 5, I was sent for a hearing test because they thought I might be deaf, but I was just daydreaming all the time.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 12h
"Jorum" Kind of an archaic English word meaning large drinking vessel and its contents (from the Bible?). In my family, it's since evolved to mean a large portion as in, "That's some big jorum of spaghetti you got for yerself."
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Lilly Wachowski @lillywachowski.bsky.social · 15h
missed National Coming Out Day. but came across this screenshot of the mass email i sent 12 years ago!
mass email from me when i transitioned. the body of the email reads-
"about 15 years ago i sent out a mass email stating that i had used the Troy Aikman quarterback rating system to decide that the right choice was to switch email providers from Aol to Comcast. using the same system i'm pleased to announce that the Troy Aikman quarterback ratings system has given me the clarity to go ahead and switch genders.
i'm available to anyone by phone that would like to crunch the numbers. thanks eveyrbody and sorry for the mass email! and thanks Troy Aikman!"
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 17h
If you see this, post a Witch.
static.klipy.com
Bewitched: Endora's Magical Entrance
Alt: Bewitched: Endora's Magical Entrance. She swoops her green cape around her purple dress and disappears
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Overall it’s a decent little monster movie spread over six episodes and there is some tonal whiplash all over the back half but I admire seeing someone see the potential in Atlantic Canada as a great setting for spooky stuff.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
The real villain is the Family Compact that owns Atlantic Canada. And climate change.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
And with Andy Jones, that makes three former Codco members. He plays Mr. Budgell and tell me that’s not deep cut. And I’m pretty sure the director was wise enough to just let him run with his character.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Anyway, Carrie’s mum is a full blown supervillain and she’s delightful.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
It’s a good one!
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Watching Carrie and call me queasy but I don’t think scenes showing someone cleaning a public restroom need to be so … graphic.
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JP Babb @jpbabb.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
This is just what all of the train tracks are like in Canada.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Still, points for Cathy Jones entertaining the two hired goons with tea and coronation street.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
In Below on Netflix, the research vessel tracking the kraken in the harbour is called John Franklin, in case you were wondering how subtle the foreshadowing was.
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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Ynterviewer: Kan you explayne thys gap yn your resume? Dante Alighieri: Yn the middle of thys journeye of lyfe Ich founde myselfe yn a shadowye woode, for...
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Happy birthday!
static.klipy.com
Sweartrek Startrek
ALT: Sweartrek Startrek
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Matchbox: The Movie was released on Apple TV this weekend and nobody RRSP’d to my watch party. smdh
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
My Lower Decks episode would be called “The Lights of K'Ehleyr.”
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The Trandalorian @charliejaneanders.com · 11/10/2026
A Star Trek tribute band called the LIGHTS OF KEYTAR
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
I am actually excited to read this. A TV show in which Lucy Maud Montgomery was once brought in for questioning is a natural choice for the comic format. LM Montgomery was released without charge, in case you were wondering.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Hoping this leads to Alien vs. Predator vs. Murdoch
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Growing up, it was that and Chatelaine every month. Most of my dinner staples come from there.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
I’ve been asked to make potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner so I’m going with the traditional method of doing whatever is in this month’s Canadian Living magazine.
canadianliving.com
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
sorry to hear. Hope things get better for you soon. 💙
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Tom Gauld @tomgauld.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
My latest @newscientist.com cartoon
Panel 1: a large robot (composed of AI servers, network switches, storage arrays, and power distribution units) and a human are talking.

Professor "You don't want to destroy humanity do you, lLLM-A-9300x?"

Robot "Haha. What a silly question, Professor. I have no desires or feelings of my own whatsoever."

Professor (relieved)"Oh good." 

Panel 2: they walk on. The robot continues  "I am merely a tool of the company that created me. And that company, being composed of humans, will naturally have humanity's best interests at heart."

Panel 3: The professor is conspicuously quiet.
"Right?" says the Robot.
…
More silence

"Professor?"
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
The real monster is climate change on account of rising sea temperatures resulting in the reappearance of an ancient leviathan. Also the Hag is real?
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Back to watching Below, and I’m amazed that even in these remote fishing villages with such limited access to healthcare, there is enough Botox and fillers for everyone.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Screen grab from the CBC Sitcom “The King of Kensington.” A middle aged white guy is smiling and speaking oh the phone.
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The Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 09/10/2026
Pete Hegseth carefully weighing whether livestreamed execution will be sponsored by FanDuel or Nashville Fried Chicken Doritos
thebeaverton.com
Pete Hegseth carefully weighing whether livestreamed execution will be sponsored by FanDuel or Nashville Fried Chicken Doritos
WASHINGTON D.C. - Addressing the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth carefully laid out a variety of options for which brand would sponsor his upcoming livestreamed public execution.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Six months ago:
theonion.com
DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment
WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “Fo...
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Age yourself with a childhood crush. Between her and the Women both Wonder and Bionic.
static.klipy.com
Lieutenant Uhura Nichelle Nichols
Alt: Lieutenant Uhura played by Nichelle Nichols
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Seems like a choice. Like when Hegseth skipped WW2 in the “make me a war fighter, Jesus” part of that speech.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Local singer Jessica Rhaye has released her cover of my late neighbour Ken Tobias’s “Every Bit of Love”
youtube.com
Every Bit of Love - YouTube
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
A live stream of an execution is something you’d see in one of the Robocop movies to show how degraded society has become.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Enough for a whole boot, these days!
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Heather J. Witchy🧙 Wood @rollwithheather.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
CBC Books: A crash course in Anne Carson: the books that won the Canadian author the Nobel Prize #CanLit www.cbc.ca/books/anne-c...
cbc.ca
A crash course in Anne Carson: the books that won the Canadian author the Nobel Prize | CBC Books
Canadian poet and essayist Anne Carson was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature. We've compiled a list of some of her most iconic books.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
There’s an ad around for Saint John, suggesting we’re the city that never sleeps and I’m like “Dude, we’re about to enter our hibernation period.”
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Anyway, the real monster is intergenerational trauma of the Newfoundland Resettlement Program.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
It’s like they aimed for Newfoundland but landed in County Mayo? But Mary Walsh is the mayor so I’m locked in. Wow. Really speed running through all the local stereotypes, aren’t they?
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Watched the first episode of Below, the Newfoundland set horror series about some kind of leviathan and the US imported lead actors are struggling MIGHTILY with that accent.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Actually I used to kind of like those. They were still the last thing eaten though.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Eric Peterson in character as Oscar Leroy on the Canadian sitcom corner gas. He is holding a phone receiver in front of his face and yelling into it
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Dukes of Hazzard didn’t even start playing in British classrooms until 1984, well after The Wall was released.
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Nobel Prize @nobelprize.org · 08/10/2026
Just in! New Nobel Prize laureate in literature Anne Carson stands surprised in her kitchen in Reykjavík, Iceland. Stay tuned for our exclusive interview with her coming soon. Join us in congratulating our 2026 literature laureate - send your greetings in the comments.
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John Hansen🦞 🖖 @suburbanerd.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Senator Vreenak!
static.klipy.com
Star Trek DS9: Vreenak Says It's a Fake!
Alt: Star Trek DS9: Vreenak Says It's a Fake!
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