StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Incidentally - I read today that British people prefer to use brushes rather than hoovers to clean their floors - but I think that could be a sweeping generalisation. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 08/10/2026If you like wordplay, I recommend @ofalafel.bsky.social and @garydelaney.bsky.social who are brilliant ! 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Thanks Flups. This brought back a memory. I once played as a pantomime horse along with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He seemed very insistent that I was at the front... 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 20/08/2026#ASongOrMovieForAllAboutBacon SmokedBack Mountain 001
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 14/07/2026My wife asked me to treat her on her birthday - but it seems Ronseal Medium Oak wasn’t what she was looking for. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 25/04/2026He took a trip to Turkey to prep himself for the party, too. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 17/12/2025And on the subject of humour and chocolate …. They’ve just discovered a new tomb in Egypt with a mummy in it covered in chocolate & nuts. They think it could be Pharaoh Rocher. And I heard a rumour that Cadburys is developing an oriental chocolate bar … but it could just be a Chinese Wispa. Hugs 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 17/12/2025I’m sorry to hear that Flupsy. My only answer is humour, get the endorphins flowing. Watch the Bob Mortimer ‘best bits’ from Last One Laughing on YouTube. I know it doesn’t fix depression, but I find it helps relieve it sometimes ! 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 08/12/2025Came across Neil Diamond in the supermarket this morning …. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 05/12/2025You should see the festive menu at Dundee United’s Christmas Party for fans from a few years ago, a big whoops …. 030
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 03/12/2025The reason why Batman had a written warning from HR recently. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 10/11/2025What do you call a camel with three humps ? Pregnant. 030
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 27/10/2025#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary DISMAYED: To tear off the 5th page of a wall calendar. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 16/09/2025I kept my dairy spread in the fridge, but a month ago it fell out and whacked me on the toe, and I’m still in pain. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better. 110
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 04/08/2025And in other news, turkeys say Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners should be given a makeover with sushi and avocado on toast. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukCar finance redress plan 'impractical', says trade bodyMany firms and individuals may no longer have records going back to 2007, the car finance industry says. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 04/08/2025Not sure why it’s in the sandwiches section, but buying Denver looks quite cheap, I bet that city would cost a bit more now. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 31/07/2025At work, we now have to set a password with 12 characters and one ‘special character’ - so I’ve gone for “Jesus and his Disciples”. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 31/07/2025I wonder if that’s what people think has caused my baldness ….. hmm. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 29/07/2025I met my old French teacher the other day, and she asked me what I’m up to now. I told her that the boat has departed and today I am playing with my dog. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 28/07/2025Two Eskimos, sitting in their canoe, were a bit chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving conclusively that you can’t have your kayak and heat it. #LunchPun 020
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 28/07/2025#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary PROFLIGATE: To tie up a teacher. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 22/07/2025One for @wordsmithgetxo.bsky.social - puffins doing puffiny things on the Farne Islands this year. Raising the cutest named bird baby perhaps … the puffling ? Thanks for all your Getxo bird pictures Chris, they make me smile every day ! 100
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 22/07/2025Always take a tape measure with you to IKEA when buying stuff for the kids … 😉 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 22/07/2025Someone has torn the 5th page out of my wall calendar this week - which left me dismayed. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 21/07/2025What do you call a nervous javelin thrower ? Shakespeare. You may as well know my secret - my grandad beat my gran to death. Not as in, with a stick – he just died 4 years before her. 111
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 17/07/2025Apple pie in Jamaica = $2.50 Pork pie in the Bahamas = $3.25 Steak pie in Barbados = $4.10 These are the pie rates of the Caribbean. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 17/07/2025I’ve just successfully bred a cross between a crocodile and a homing pigeon - although I bet it comes back to bite me .…. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 07/07/2025I saw The Pretenders, they were a tribute band ! 020
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 17/06/2025Footballers often used to eat Jaffa Cakes at half time, although apparently Paul Scholes had ginger nuts. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 15/06/2025I wrote a great joke about a fat badger, but I couldn’t fit it into my set. 030
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 11/06/2025If Celine Dion just sang the vowels in her name, it would need to be to the tune of Old MacDonald’s Farm. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 09/06/2025Or to translate …. “We don’t want to pay a transfer fee, so let us know if you are giving him away on loan late in the window please ….” 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 09/06/2025I watched the same documentary on Netflix, it was great, although the stream kept stopping. 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 06/06/2025#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary PETULANCE: the vet’s next patient, with an abscess 011
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 05/06/2025Sign in my hotel lift last week - no shortbread for little Nazis. What’s that all about ? 000
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 04/06/2025#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary TELEVISION: a ghostly apparition of Kojak 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 21/05/2025#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary POST-OP: the tricky task of cutting the industrial strength packing tape on a parcel 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 21/05/2025Talking of pigeons - you can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 20/05/2025#ShoesOfAllKindsInASongOrMovie The Banana Boot Song 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 19/05/2025This reminds me of a very old joke - can you name 3 types of fish that begin and end with the letter K ? Killer shark Kwik Save Frozen Haddock Kilmarnock - it’s a pla(i)ce Awful, apologies ! 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 18/05/2025One in three of all UK residents were conceived in an IKEA bed. Which is amazing when you think about it - I mean, those places are always really well lit. 010
StartTheCar @startthecar.bsky.social · 18/05/2025Someone tore the 5th page out of my wall calendar last week, which left me dismayed. 032
