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Spank The Monkey

@spanktm.bsky.social
85 followers 133 following 388 posts

Australopithecine specialising in arts and entertainment reviews. Longer-form babbling available at spank-the-monkey.co.uk.

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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 1h
Time to start hitting the #LFF hashtag like it owes me money. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/10/07/l...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
London Film Festival 2026
Daily updates start on Thursday 8th October. I know you’ve only just got here, but could you pop over to this page and have a look at the thumbnail pictures on it? I’ll wait till you ge…
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Emily @emilydawn.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
@hockeyviz.com I found some beautiful data viz for you
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Loving that backslash.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
First-of-the-month post ahoy! Featuring Kiwis, coyotes, monkeys and the Essex version of Helen of Troy. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/10/01/s...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
Simian Substitute Site for October 2026: Vers la forêt
MONTH END PROCESSING FOR SEPTEMBER 2026 Comedy: “This will work,” says David Correos about his audience warm-up routine, “but you’re going to have to put your whole dick and…
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
America 2026
Capture of a Breaking News notification from the BBC News app, reading "US Supreme Court allows execution of Christ..."
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
One month after it all happened, it's time for the first part of my 2026 What I Did On My Holidays post. We're starting in Niigata. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/09/30/r...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
Rising Monkey X (i): Niigata
August 17-20 2026 My first visit to Japan was in 2002: it was also the first big holiday that The Belated Birthday Girl and I ever took together. It seemed to work out, so we’ve done that a f…
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
To celebrate my finally acquiring the DVD of the film Tonde Saitama, please enjoy its end title song, in which an entire Japanese prefecture is musically bullied for four minutes. youtu.be/dvdQC7BvKks
youtu.be
[DoushiteSubs] hanawa - Saitamaken no Uta (English subtitles)
YouTube video by leofox2
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Mary Gillis @handle.invalid · 24/09/2026
It's called film "footage" because camera operators initially held the cameras with their feet. That changed after a film shoot in 1931, when an operator got a foot cramp and was forced to hold the camera in his hands. The "footage" he got that day was extraordinary. That man's name? Hans Cameraman.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Was that at the O2 in North Granex?
More mangled Pulp lyrics on Spotify, with Jarvis leaving part of his brain "somewhere in a field near North Granex" (he was in the O2 at the time, so you can work it out from there)
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Spotify appears to have used a dogshit quality speech-to-text algorithm to generate lyrics for the new Pulp live album.
The Spotify lyrics display for the live version of Common People by Pulp, which begins:

In the Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge
She studied sculpture out in mountains
Caught a touch of mine
Caught a highLearn to fly at the bowling shop
Fix your hair and get a job
Smoke sone fags and play some pool
Pretend you never went to school 
Still you'll never get it right 
'Cause when you're laid in bed at night
Watching posters climb the wall
If you caught your dad, you could stop it all, yeah
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The ship at the start is too big, showing it all is a waste of the audience’s time
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Always loved the theme song. youtu.be/fQrkWnbk6Jc
youtu.be
Gordano
YouTube video by TheSpankTM
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MꙬse Allain @handle.invalid · 19/09/2026
Pirate union rep: what would you like to see in terms of pirate rights? Pirate: more parity! Pirate union rep: [squawking] what would you like to see in terms of pirate rights?
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Todd Vaziri @tvaziri.com · 17/09/2026
BREAKING NEWS: The new James Bond actor has been chosen and it's this guy. www.tiktok.com/@jrw21/video...
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Still, while we're here: mostlyfilm.wordpress.com/2017/03/27/l...
mostlyfilm.wordpress.com
Babycart On The Ray Of Blu
Spank The Monkey doesn’t usually enjoy movies about children, but he’ll make an exception for Lone Wolf and Cub
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Which makes it nine years that I've been feeling smug about the free screener copy of this set I was given for review purposes. Without packaging.
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Tilt Araiza @tiltaraiza.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I think what we've learned is, you need to pick your support acts carefully.
A magazine ad for Einstürzende Neubauten with Showaddywaddy at the National Club, Kilburn High Road, London NW6
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Dunno if they still do it, but back in the 2000s JR Hotels provided Wee Willie Winkie-style full-length white nightshirts. We liked ours so much we bought two from the hotel shop before leaving.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Lovely story from Herzog here about getting hassled on the set of Bad Lieutenant until Cage stepped up. (It's about 30:30 in, if the embed screws up.) youtu.be/SXgRCI33Js0?...
youtu.be
A Conversation with Werner Herzog - Doc/Fest 2019
YouTube video by Sheffield DocFest
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Popular phone app struggling to find new ways to say 'phone". @secondmentions.com
Notification message from Falstaff, the Duolingo bear: "While you're looking at your flashy rectangle, keep your 1255 day streak"
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
♬ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♬ #LFF
In the London Film Festival ticket queue, with eighteen and a half thousand people in front of me
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
There was a year or so when this was the alarm sound on my phone, until I realised that nobody needs to be *that* alarmed
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caroline cash @cashbrowns.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Nancy 9/7/26 … Happy Labor Day 🛠️
8 Hours for Work, 8 Hours for Rest, 8 Hours for What We Will. Based on a screenprint by Ricardo Levins Morales after the organizing work done by Robert Owen.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Answer: yes
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christhebarker @christhebarker.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Major Channel 4 news investigation reveals corruption at heart of Tatooine establishment
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Just out of curiosity, why do you always do these gigs in the second weekend of October? They clash with the London Film Festival and I keep missing them.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
See also youtu.be/J-BJTE56I14
youtu.be
Oprah. Uma. Uma. Oprah.
YouTube video by lookforalaugh
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Death, music, spelling and Ikea's most gratuitous product placement: just your usual first-of-the-month post. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/09/01/s...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
Simian Substitute Site for September 2026: Follow Punch
MONTH END PROCESSING FOR AUGUST 2026 Books: We came to the work of Evie King comparatively late: last April, to be precise. By the time we got around to listening to the audiobook of Ashes To Admin…
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Al Kennedy @alkennedy.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
RIP Ski Sunday. In tribute, Dave Bulmer will now sing the theme song:
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Out seeing some off-season sumo today. #TheSumo
A bunch of rikishi doing some practice in a one-day-only dohyo, watched by the smallish number of people you'd expect at The Sumo at 9.20 in the morning.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I was looking at this in Echigo-Tsumari just five hours ago. RIP Yayoi Kusama.
Tsumari In Bloom, one of Kusama's big spotty flower sculptures.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Putting a 20-year-old blog post back into circulation, for some reason. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/08/21/e...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
REPOST: Earth Celebration 2006
Originally posted on Spank The Monkey 30/09/2006. This was fun. We should do it again some time. To quote from Spank’s Edinburgh Diary 2005, published 29/08/2005 on the old site: “It al…
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Boss level Monoglot Movie Club activity today: a Korean language movie with Japanese subtitles. Luckily it's a Hong Sang-soo joint, and they've all got the same plot anyway (man gets pissed on soju and embarrasses himself).
Japanese poster for the Korean film What Does That Nature Say To You: five people sat around a dining table, looking quite uncomfortable. In the bottom right hand corner, very small, we can see one of them lying on a park bench, obviously ratarsed.
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DocHackenBOOOOOsh @dochackenbush.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Screaming Mad George was also responsible for the jaw-droppingly twisted orgy that closes out Society (1989). IYKYK. RIP George, you magnificent weirdo
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Nick Grimshaw's currently on the radio asking us to call in with questions for the author of a new biography of Slipknot. youtu.be/xWqTo-5l3nk
youtu.be
Half Man Half Biscuit - Vatican Broadside [Official Audio]
YouTube video by Half Man Half Biscuit
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I saw seven John Woo films last month, which is probably more exit wounds than it's healthy to experience in so short a timeframe. But here's the review anyway. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/08/14/b...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
Bullets And Brotherhood
Like most of my formative cinema experiences, it happened at the Scala. That’s where I first saw John Woo’s The Killer back in 1992, attracted by a general interest in Hong Kong cinema …
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Alex Selby-Boothroyd @alexselbyb.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Eclipse playlist open.spotify.com/playlist/6Wf...
Eclipse playlist
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Last time I saw an eclipse was in Tokyo in 2012. The BBG took over 100 photos of it with a hand-held, sun-filtered camera from our hotel room window, and this is what we did with them. youtu.be/nzgz2mpSZyw
youtu.be
Annular eclipse over Tokyo, May 21st 2012
YouTube video by TheSpankTM
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Jeff Billington @facesofjeff.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Tina Turner with speech bubble
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
It was an LFF screening where they announced just a couple of days beforehand 'we've got a 3D print, hope that's all right." Never seen it advertised again in that format since, but I've got a 2D DVD as a reminder of what it felt like.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Have you seen Office, To's 3D musical? Apologies if that sentence is too much new information to take in on a Saturday night, but the things he does with a camera in that one are astonishing.
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Isobel Fox @isobel.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
hyperbole is the dumbest concept anyone has thought of in the history of the world
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Name a movie where the title character *isn't* the main character.
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NikkiJay is making Shards Of A God @nikkijay.games · 05/08/2026
Someone stole my toilet! I suspect this guy
Football reporter "Nick Mashiter"
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
It's an exhibition that moved me to this response. youtu.be/B-0OTfShIwA
youtu.be
Henry Moore: Monumental Nature
YouTube video by bondfan007a
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
First-of-the-month post is up right now, if you'd like to find out what my least favourite book of 2026 is. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/08/01/s...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
Simian Substitute Site for August 2026: Max Fulham’s Monkey Business
MONTH END PROCESSING FOR JULY 2026 Books: I mentioned the Japanese film Exit 8 here a few months ago: a video game adaptation about a man trapped in one of those oh-so-fashionable liminal spaces on…
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
As has become traditional in years when I'm not going to the Edinburgh Festival, here's a list of what I'm not going to see there. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/07/30/e...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
Edinburgh Festival Preview 2026: And All That Jazz (But Nothing Else)
Books• Alison Irvine• Jess Elliott Dennison• Fergus McIntosh • 10 years after David Bowie• Oliver bullough• Tim key• Ela rusbridger• Justin tsang• Meiko Kawakami• Caledonia screaming • Future libra…
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Lest we forget, this was an actual movie tie-in edition from 2000.
A paperback of Homer's The Odyssey featuring the tagline 'the inspiration behind O Brother, Where Art Thou?' and the artwork from the film.
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
As has become traditional in years when I'm not going to the Edinburgh Festival, here's a list of what I'm not going to see there. spank-the-monkey.co.uk/2026/07/30/e...
spank-the-monkey.co.uk
Edinburgh Festival Preview 2026: And All That Jazz (But Nothing Else)
Books• Alison Irvine• Jess Elliott Dennison• Fergus McIntosh • 10 years after David Bowie• Oliver bullough• Tim key• Ela rusbridger• Justin tsang• Meiko Kawakami• Caledonia screaming • Future libra…
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Spank The Monkey @spanktm.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
I only found out who Bobby Fingers used to be a couple of weeks ago, and feel a bit daft that it took me so long.
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