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allyson

@shmallyson.bsky.social
113 followers 164 following 121 posts

(she/her)

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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
It's actually just this
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Six Dettmar @sixdettmar.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I’M AT THE URGENT CARE I’M AT THE TACO BELL I’M AT THE COMBINATION URGENT CARE AND TACO BELL
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Having ADHD is so hard and fucked up lmao I for real actually can't do anything
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Mike Bithell @mikebithell.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
‘You can’t own a game’ rendered like the old anti piracy ads
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Tyron @tyron.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
perfect substack note
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
LMFAO!
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Dominic @domoffinland.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
this guy gets it
Listen to this king at a Huntington City Council meeting on Flock Cameras:

"I'm not gonna waste your time, I'm kinda hungry, but one last thing. Every single Flock camera has about 2-3 lbs of copper and about 1-2 grams of gold. Do with that information what you will."
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Officially crushless and feeling ~purposeless~ again without anyone to yearn after 🫪
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Overwhelmed and overstimulated at the function again
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
cooking like a Michelin chef brother
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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Ninja turtles prequel where they’re just turtles. No kung fu. None of them can talk. They’re just animals. 16 episodes. 5 season arc. Apple TV. $700 million dollar budget. Make it happen.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
I guess the thing about telling people not to take you too seriously is that they don't take you seriously
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
need a gaming buddy who is obsessed with me and gaming with me whenever i want 🧡
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Aaron Blackshear @aaronblackshear.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Personally I would never miss a penalty kick
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
I gotta figure out this PMDD shit IMMEDIATELY it's going to literally kill me lmao
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victoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 20/06/2026
the way she slime in my pool got me reflecting 👤𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗔𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 Thirty seconds after this post became public, the United States Federal Government issued a warrant for Ms. Zeller's arrest. She is currently being held in federal custody and awaiting trial. Her book deal has been withdrawn.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Great shout!!
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
You really do know ball
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
This is so special how can you not be romantic about basketball
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
been listening to 'Best Buy' over and over and over and over and over an- heyitsfrog.bandcamp.com/album/frog-f...
heyitsfrog.bandcamp.com
Frog for Sale, by Frog
12 track album
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
I'm having a BAD DAY and I want TO CRY
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
I know Spotify is bad but this was kinda cool to know also hi @pile.bsky.social
A slice of cake in the center of a card that reads "Your first day on Spotify was... February 10, 2016"Text that says "since then you've listened to...20,370 songs"Text that says "Your All-Time Most Streamed Artist" is Pile. "You've spent 27,807 minutes with them so far.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Heartbreaking news for me...
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
this week's mood board
blurry photo of a "screaming" cat working/typing at a laptopa tweet that says "a mans twitter is either extremely horny, very suicidal, or a sports fan page." The tweet that quotes it says "and a queer woman's is a combination of all three," which I felt personally called out by.two received text messages. The first reads "Hi, your posts amuse me, but I have to wonder.." "Mental illness yes ?" the second text reads.super happy emoji guy with 4 front teeth only with text that says "me when i find a new daydream narrative that distracts me from reality"
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
Yeah I'm not going to lol I thought about it a little more. I wish I could! But I did manage to convince my Mom to spend some bones on Ludovico Einaudi concert tickets for herself +1 lmfao
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
you only have an inaugural season once, right?
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
should I be the most irresponsible person with money of all time and buy this courtside seat to tempo vs. storm????
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
I know exactly what would have to change for me to like walking again lol but 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🙅‍♀️
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Truly wish I was someone who enjoyed going for a walk lol
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Omg got a cute little fan club gift from the Toronto Tempo 🥰 @tempobasketball.bsky.social
Toronto Tempo Fan Club gift box containing two enamel pins and a patch with Tempo logos.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Not even roasting marshmallows or anything, just staring into it. For the love of the game.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
This is what I am referencing if you're OUT OF THE LOOP and think I'm just being fucking weird and not simply Hitting on Women in an incredibly unique way during this moment in our lifetimes.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
I know this is getting a lot of press lately so I'd like to just jump in and promote myself a little bit: I am a Vaginal Microbiome Professional, and I do those viral pussy microbiome reports. Come get yours with me today!!! Yes it's at my house, it's called "having your own practice" lol
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Or go to grad school for real this time, don't know which.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Pray 4 me, thinking about jumping into the "Job Market" pretty soon...
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Unfortunately, right now the only Method™ I have found that helps me feel that Joie De Vivre is to sm*ke w**d as early as possible in the day. Won't comment on the additional benefits such as the big FUCK YOU I'm giving to productivity culture (i.e., ain't been getting much done on my end, etc.)
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
not to be a boomer ass facebook mom posting shit like this, but this made me feel #seen
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
When and how and to whom does one ask for help???
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
How does one navigate this "tell your friends that you're in the hospital because you know they'd want to know" thread versus the "you're just seeking attention" thread because... As someone who sought attention as a teenager, it's hard to overcome the feelings that I'm still just doing that.
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
Working on your birthday like
Woman at a desk and computer with pink text over it that says "I was sooo locked in today, didn't get anything done. But I was like super aware of it."
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
I'm being really innovative here
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Oui!
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Canadians: Yippee cahier motherfucker!!!! (has this been done before??)
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
this is what they said it would be like under socialism
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Big "we've been expecting you" energy from the pets
Our Shiba Inu, Kimi, peeking from under a wooden gate.Our tabby cat, Roman, lying down with his arms crossed staring at the camera.
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @aoc.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
And I would like to challenge this person to get a real job
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allyson @shmallyson.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
living with adhd makes this especially difficult since I lose passion for projects/hobbies/etc. quickly.
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