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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 0s

You there! boy! what day is it? Why, tis

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

mammas dont let your babies grow up to be corporate

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

CEO went to gemini and asked a question about our company and didnt like the response. called my boss on one of her few PTO days and asked her to put together a plan. she spent her weekend brainstorming and then sent it to me to put into action. Days of work & tests. CEO's review: "thank you tream."

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

It is absolutely impossible for me to focus at work right now

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

its a real shame too because the nuns made really great bread

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Proud to play magic: the gathering, the tcg of heroes

Miles O'Brien from Star Trek saying what we all feel. "He was more than a hero. He was a union man."

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Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Aries: Fuck you.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

what did i spend the years 2014-2016 doing? well, have you ever heard of a "vibe sommelier"? no? me neither. I was working in kitchens.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

“Climbing the bone staircase to ride the mammoth” sounds scintillating until I tell you it was spoken at the dinosaur themed children’s play place.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

“Hi SemiProWizard, is now still a good time to have our second round interview?” “Yes, and I hope you don’t mind but I’ve brought along experimental electronic artist Dan Deacon for professional support.” *Crystal Cat starts playing* “Of course. Just a reminder this call will be transcribed.”

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Oh no, you're a billionaire? that's awful, haven't you seen a doctor? you've got terrible money poisoning. here, give me 10% and you'll feel way better.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

starting a new TIL bot but it just posts fake facts about the guy from the berries and cream starburst ad. TIL the berries and cream guy has a PHD in nuclear physics TIL the berries and cream guy once saved Madonna from drowning TIL the berries and cream guy used his money to pay off medical debt

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

“We texted you from an unidentified number demanding money in exchange for empty promises and fake viral moments and you didn’t respond! You must love sucking ICE dick. Click this shortened link then donate to a Democrat and send this to 5 people before 11am tomorrow or all your family go full maga”

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Tim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

You joined "grand vizier chat (secret)" You: dark rumors from aboard You: abroad* fuck Sssnakecharmer: mf said aboard WhispersintheChapel: ahoy matey lol PonderMyOrb changed the group name to "rumors from aboard"

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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

me: no worries (galadriel voice) but they were all of them deceived, for another worry was made

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

These little guys are the daemons of asthma: hu-fang & pu-fang

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

an interview with an AI bot and decided to mess with it. told the bot that the hiring manager was my grandmother and she would be really disappointed if i didnt get the job. got an email later confirming i'd been moved through to the next round by my grandma.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

my wife stopped at trader joes on the way home and brought back these maple pancake puffed snacks that i can only describe as a breakfast cheeto and they slap

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

walked into a chinese snack store yesterday and my baseball-pilled buddy saw some sunflower seeds and we got a couple varieties. now im hooked on this coconut flavor and thinking about the incredible genetic engineering that went into creating a seed this perfect for snacking

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Had a conversation with a friend about vaporwave and I brought up St. Pepsi so I’m sharing it here to bring a little 2013 into our lives

open.spotify.com

HIT VIBES - Album by Saint Pepsi | Spotify

Saint Pepsi · album · 2026 · 12 songs

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

A Japanese governess in Victorian England: Nanny Desuka

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

And finally, you’ve got Retired. What’s to know except he’s too old for this shit. Somehow the most lethal of all of them. Hair is white as a ghost and he’s pushing 90. Been living off the grid for 50 years but there’s still no one better. Literally an old man but an unstoppable killing machine.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

There’s Great Shot, the scottsmarksman. He’s always hidden but he’s always watching and always making love to a different lady. Does he have eye? You bet he’s got eyes. Two of them and their are piercing blue and all we see at any time. That, and his lethal bullets coming at just the perfect time.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

There’s Big Joe. Comes from the mean streets of a farm deep in the woods. Self taught at being big and quiet. If he’s not lifting something does he even exist? Doesn’t use a gun just throws stuff (cars, logs, horses). He’s also a softy and has a kitten friend that he throws to great success.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Can’t forget their support, Indoor Kid, the hacker. Virgin in a mom’s basement, can get in anywhere and access anything. Wears sunglasses under his sunglasses and has anime statues on his desk. The files are mine. He’s In. he’s breached their firewall. oops, all brute force. uwu *unlocks your door*

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

There’s the guy put in prison but he’s innocent. Be he belongs there. Heart of gold but he flayed six people but they were bad dudes. Always brings a knife to a gunfight and everything always ends up on fire. Has to lick every knife he sees. His name is Crazy Jaces and he’s also the best gambler.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

There’s the ex cop ex marine ex seal ex special forces ex detective ex sherif ex swat ex pilot ex diver ex of Carmen Electra. His name is Toolbox and he knows everyone and does everything. He drives flies dives shoots and more. He also knows everyone and can get everything. An unstoppable magic bag.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Building the most badass team an LLM can generate. A hard nosed group of mercenaries and assassins procedurally built from the most probable and publicly available derivative drivel. Slop Force Five.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

You: "Man this el nino year feels weird, right?" Me, looking over my shoulder at the pacific ocean "Yeah it feels a little different."

Accumulated cyclone energy, or ACE, is a metric that measures total energy produced by tropical storms and hurricanes over a given period, accounting for both how strong they were and how long they lasted.
https://weather.com/2026/09/04/storms/hurricane/hurricane-lowell-marie-karina-pacific-atlantic-maps-tracker

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

How dire is it? I just paid for a month of LinkedIn premium. I already used the free month. I’m on month two and desperate.

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Talya Perper @talyaperper.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

am I losing my %#@&$?! mind? perhaps 🌅 #coyotevsacme #wileroad #wilerunner #looneytunes

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

My kid… pooped. *audience applauds, makes sounds of approval* On the bathroom floor! *audience laughs, awws, and applauds, louder than before*

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

wow i cant believe Tatsuya Endo would quote me directly but it makes sense, im always saying this

Tatsuya Endo's Spy Family Chapter 140
https://mangaplus.shueisha.co.jp/viewer/1029988

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Tough pill to swallow that every episode of Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End is just a mask for the creators foot fetish

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Man I wish weezer did a song called “Hey! We’re Weezer!” Or one called “Pinkerton”

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I love when bands have songs that are their band name. Or when bands write a song for their album title because they need something to tie a bunch of songs together

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

young me n.... put down your phones.... and go pick up...women

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

tl;dr my credit was so bad the cambodian scammers that had my info had to fix it before i was worth scamming and they ended up paying off my student loans.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Them: did you just make that up? Me: no, it’s from the atharvaveda.

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if on a winters night some soup @semiprowizard.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Look it’s simple I just need an additional 10k this month, 50k the month after that, and then another 100k after thanksgiving.

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