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Scott

@scottnotscot.bsky.social
1.5K followers 919 following 19K posts

I'm here for dad jokes, TV chat, a little politics, food envy, and a lot of cat spotting. DMs open. Oxford. 🏳️‍🌈. He/him www.instagram.com/scottisnotabot

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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 17h
On the radio yesterday they were doing a segment on "small things your partner does that show they love you". Well I hope the other half calls in next time to say "my partner skipped watching Bake Off, Drag Race *and* The Traitors while I was away so that we could watch together when I got back".
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Who invented locktober? Someone should lock them up and throw away the key. Oh...
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I can tell it's autumn because I'm back to sleeping like shit and my appetite has gone through the roof.
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Raywat Deonandan 🍁🇨🇦 @deonandan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Aethia @aethiakink.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Memories 🥲
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I love having lights on a motion sensor. I'm surprised it's not more common.
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Velour Shirt @object.works · 29/09/2026
This is a metaphor for so many things these days that I couldn't choose
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You may have noticed that I haven't posted anything for "biceptember". This is because I don't know what a bicep is and I'm pretty sure I don't have one.
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Gavin Alexander @gavin83bay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Quite an achievement to get the man's name wrong twice in the same post.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
We've got some relatively chunky olives this year but I'm not sure they'll properly ripen. Or even whether they'll be edible if they do...
My hand behind three green olives on an olive tree. The olives are about 1.5 cm long.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
It's pay day. Which would be great if it weren't also bill day.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Back on my thing of going "wtf?!" at Argos reviews and Q&As. Here's today's instalment. Can you guess the product?
A screenshot of a review on a website. "It does the job 5 stars. Good for the price, if used as a back up. Keep mine in the car."
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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Got a bit concerned that my piss was purple this morning. Called 111 to ask for medical advice. They asked me to go to the bathroom and open the cistern. Turns out my husband added one of those toilet cleaning pucks in there. God bless the NHS and their infinite wisdom.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The missing apostrophe on this menu had me imagining a bartenders vs pudding fight.
"Tiramisu Martini 11.75 Vanilla vodka. Kahlúa, Bailevs and milk chocolate with a sponge biscuit. The bartenders take on a classic Italian dessert" - there is no apostrophe on bartenders.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The bed hair is dangerously close to fashionable today.
A selfie of me in a mirror. The hair across my head is sticking up in the same direction.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Old fuddy duddy comment: cinemas were better when they had proper film projectors.
static.klipy.com
Vintage Movie Projector Beam
Alt: Vintage Movie Projector Beam
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Erm *actually* I'm pretty sure there aren't any non-stop trains to Bristol...
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Preparing for a week home alone.
The menu on a grocery delivery app. "Ready meals for 1" is circled.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
A fun thing about waking up early again (hi insomnia, I've not missed you) is relearning about people I follow from Australia/NZ vs. those from the US/Canada who don't post much during my usual daytime.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Did you know that Patti Lupone is Edith from Allo Allo's daughter?
Edith from Allo Allo. Late middle aged woman in an offensively floral dress with a clashing apron.Edith from Allo Allo in a more tasteful dress. Patti Lupone. Patti Lupone.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I'm Fuckt. Definitely said that more than once before.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
It's a shame this was too late to make that New York Times list.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Happy weekend. I fancy a wine but also feel a bit bleurgh from a flu vaccination so should probably skip it 😔.
A selfie of me lying on a bed.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This list is missing Gossip Girl and Scream Queens.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Turns out a big bowl of lentils for dinner has after effects.
static.klipy.com
Rotating Wind Turbine Against Blue Sky
Alt: Rotating Wind Turbine Against Blue Sky
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Tonight Matthew, I'm making Malaysian coconut daal for dinner.
A photograph of a photograph in a recipe book. Someone is holding a bowl of golden coloured daal.
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John Oxley @joxley.jmoxley.co.uk · 24/09/2026
Everyone, stop what you are doing. I've discovered there is a politician called Teresa May running for city council in British Columbia. And this is from one of her campaign videos. Never have two people with the same name had such different vibes.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I'm excited to announce that I've experienced time travel! I'm not sure how or why, but I definitely have. Because there's no way that it's only Thursday 😭.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Finished Star City. This program has taken the biggest journey from "meh, seems a bit dull" to "well that was excellent" of any recent program for me.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The other half is away next week and honestly I'm afraid I can't single-handedly win the battle for control of our house against all the giant spiders.
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Chris Ingraham @cingraham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Incredible Facebook slop ad I just got
Horse pin with an illustration of a horse and the following text:
"Give a man a horse he'll eat in a day, teach a man to horse. and make him drinks water."
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
There's been another fire at the landfill site.
The famous photo of George Bush with a man whispering in his ear on 9/11.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Just found out that The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies was sold 8 years ago for £150k. I don't know what to make of that.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
"Accrual World" might be my favourite Only Connect team name ever.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
We're halfway through the series and wow is this a load of shite.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I cooked a roast rack of lamb for dinner and it was *perfect* but I forgot to take a photo of the end result. You'll have to make do with one of how it started out instead.
A raw rack of lamb in a packet.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Can I text the British Transport Police on 61016 if I smell something that doesn't smell right? Because this train smells badly of stale piss 😔.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Good film! Bit hammy more or less throughout but I enjoyed, I learned, I was invested for almost 3 hours.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Someone needs to invent a severance procedure just for trains. One that makes all innies only use indoor voices...
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
We're going to see De Gaulle: Resistance this afternoon. Other half: "I don't know much about him, but he does have an airport named after him so he's at least as notable as John Lennon and George Best.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Work day: oversleep by an hour, wake up at almost 8 am. Saturday: can't sleep past 5. Hmmph!
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Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
What a Vegetable, huh?

Wednesday, it's lemon
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Why does today feel so intensely like it's Friday?
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Tried these. Taste like a dirty chocolate orange. 3/10 do not recommend.
M&S Moroccan style lentils.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
And now I've got athlete's foot. Thanks KitKat Chunky 🙄.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
There are a lot of fighter jets going over Didcot this evening. Must be because of those secessionists on the other side of Oxford.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Some evil arse (me) has implemented a scheme where he (me) has a KitKat Chunky as an afternoon snack on days when he (me) is meant to go for a run after work. It means that he (me) is less likely to not bother because of the guilt.
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I've already seen that magazine cover of Tom Cruise enough times for it to have a measurable impact on my sanity and will to live. (Three times.)
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Scott @scottnotscot.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Why do Quidco take approximately one million business years to email a gift voucher? I just want to buy my air purifier 😢.
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Matt @itsmattagain.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I'm not sure how kidnapping Steps helps Stoke in any way
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