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Ryan Thomas Johnson

@rythojo.bsky.social
277 followers 282 following 517 posts

Composer, musician, lots of third grade potential

PostsRepliesMedia
Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I'm at Disneyland and there's no Mars Needs Moms ride. What's up with that?
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
For real though, with the degree to which women need to protect themselves, I'm amazed that they've so much as had a conversation with me or any other man in history.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It's been long enough. I think we can start referring to him as "Scott Baio, former actor", right?
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 26/09/2026
peter thiel is another one of those guys who we are supposed to think is brilliant but every time he opens his mouth my first thought is “this guy sounds like an idiot”
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Radley Balko @radleybalko.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Christ, these people are monsters. Just monsters. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
The past few years have cemented my theory that the most ostentatious buildings I've ever visited were likely built at the behest of some asshole.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
My prediction is that we are days away from Doritos launching a line of "Flavor-Maxxing" varieties.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
You can say so much about people in the entertainment biz. But proudly, none of us are asking that we loosen up about beastiality.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
One of the smartest world leaders right now. He's wasting no time in shifting the chessboard to Canada's benefit.
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 13/09/2026
"i will shoot myself in the gut if you do not let me cut off my dick!!!"
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
If all the investment in my highly valued company was based on speculation with no clear path to profit, it sure would be something to say, "It's so awesome it may be dangerous," to tank the stock price, then turn around a few weeks later saying, "Good news! We fixed it!"
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
sitting in his crappy apartment listening to him ramble about who did him wrong and wondering where your friends went 25 years later.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
The national timeline seems to be: traumatic event setting off unease and paranoia-> 14 years later shacking up with an abuser who's insane but promises to protect you -> break up for 4 years -> get back together with abuser who's now taken your wallet and phone to make sure you don't go anywhere ->
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
If I am certain of anything, I'm certain that those $5k checks are coming out of the money Mexico invested into the wall. #rnc
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
This is why my hate for corporations stops at "Big Pharma". There are no indie pharmaceutical companies, and this is why.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
With the Chris Hansen movie coming out, I'm reminded that's he's available on Cameo, and I can't think of anyone I would want a surprise message from less.
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Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 07/09/2026
Possibly the most American news of all time
local12.com
Prison inmates donate more than $4,000 to pay children's school lunch debt
Residents at the prison contributed $3,810 of their own money, while Kansas Department of Corrections employees added another $457.
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Mona Burns @monaburns.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Thomas Massie today: "Tuesday I tweeted Mike Johnson would recess Congress until after the election in an attempt to stymie our latest Epstein bill. Johnson went on TV adamantly saying that was STUPID and we’d work every day. Today he announced we’ll recess on Sept 17… until after the election!"
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 03/09/2026
the literal position of the trump administration is that any school that has any more than a smattering of black students is engaged in illegal racial discrimination against whites www.nytimes.com/2026/09/03/b...
nytimes.com
Trump Moves to Strip Tax Exemption From Schools That Aid Minority Students (Gift Article)
The Treasury Department released rules that would prevent schools with race-based programs from qualifying for tax-exempt status, a threat to both higher education and other private schools.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
See, this is what I've thought whenever a commentator says, "This is impossible to implement before the midterms." Oh no no no. It's impossible to implement...well.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I haven't read about one ceasefire in the past several years that involved ceasing fire.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
New album release! EDM covers sung by a skeezy clown, you say? Yes. Exactly that. CLOWN MONEY (album and artist name) now available on the streamers. #clown #dualipa #acdc #peaches #oingoboingo #megantrainor #depechemode #edm #dancemusic
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
So in other words, he made exactly the sort of statement you might expect from someone working in public health.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
You've probably been wondering when I was going to produce EDM covers of popular tunes sung by an evil clown. Don't worry. I've got you covered. clownmoney.bandcamp.com/album/clown-...
clownmoney.bandcamp.com
Clown Money, by Clown Money
5 track album
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I know you do this for a living. But I'm stunned at how fast you were able to pull this off.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
For the Daily Beast, I bid adieu to ew.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Okay, what are we renaming Trump properties after the inevitable deMAGAfication of the US? Denali Towers? Kathy Griffin Square? The Golf Course of Mexico?
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Moon time. Taken with my phone held up to the telescope eyepiece. #eclipse
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
For everyone saying, "There's no God," in reference to beloved celebrities dying and certain unloved celebrities not dying, read the Bible. The god in that book is mean as shit.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Eagerly awaiting Mitch McConnell's comment on the death of Dolly Parton.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
To this wishlist, I would like to add "judging something as potentially bothersome and making an internal note to read up on it before forming an opinion".
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
"We expect everyone to leave the dollar system," is a hell of a thing for a guy managing the dollar system to say.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Guns n' Roses n' Battleships n' Sandwiches n' Unicorns n' Spy Novels n' Motorcycles n' Bran Muffins n' Harpy Eagles n' Donuts n' Vegan Wallets n' Tax Evasion n' Potting Soil n' Kung Fu n' Post-Its n' Sabers n' Tricorn Hats n' Cholesterol n' Party Favors n' Jeff Goldblum Cameos n' Real Estate Agents
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Duncan Jones @manmademoon.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
T-bag or not T-bag. That… is the question.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
"The worst of the worst", right?
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Disinformation is my art.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Call me a Luddite. But when reporting on crucial world events, I don't think news organizations need to include the guessing numbers of gooners trying to win computer money on gambling websites managed by mystery gangs in Vladivostok.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
My lukewarm take is that no one has ordered a wedge salad since 1961 and we can probably strike them from all menus.
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Fllics @fllics.com · 04/08/2026
Another detainee dies at controversial NYC-Area ICE facility Edwin Lopez Cornejo died Aug. 1, his family said. Cornejo's mother blamed her son's death on him not receiving medications needed to treat his diabetes. Read more: Sign up for our newsletter for the day's top stories, from sports to…
fllics.com
Another detainee dies at controversial NYC-Area ICE facility
Edwin Lopez Cornejo died Aug. 1, his family said. Cornejo's mother blamed her son's death on him not receiving medications needed to treat his diabetes. Read more: Sign up for our newsletter for the day's top stories, from sports to movies to politics to world events:
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
If you're starting your conversation with, "Swear allegiance to my invisible friend so you get cupcakes after you die! It's the only way to get cupcakes!! I'm just trying to help you BEFORE YOU DIE!!!" you are a threat.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
I know there are religious people who will want to defend airplane preachers. So let me put it like this. A chief responsibility of airlines is to make sure you are not locked in a tube hurtling through the sky with crazy people who want to expedite your death. We should be glad it's their concern.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
I can't believe he can say all this with his head over the desk.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
So far every "smoking gun diary entry" I've read as been consistent with something Fauci said on the record years ago. Anime Rand Paul is pointing to a butterfly asking, "Is this a lie?"
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Alex Jones is a big reason Andrew Tate became as famous as he is. Alex had a little skirmish with Joe Rogan, but offered an olive branch one day via text seemingly just so he could get Tate onto Rogan's podcast. I swear to you these are real texts, even the "Chinese monkey pig hybrid" part.
Alex Jones to Joe Rogan, 8:15.30 a.m.:
I am getting contacted by folk saying you talked about a text I sent where I talked about drinking and said I was sorry.

Alex Jones to Joe Rogan, 8:16.36 a.m.:
If true that’s fine but please don’t talk about the privet drinking to much stuff. My X will blow it up.

Alex Jones to Joe Rogan, 8:17.32 a.m.:
I am a new person and do value our old friendship and would like to regain your respect!

Alex Jones to Joe Rogan, 8:18.02 a.m.:
I am sorry I went to far before and ask you not to hurt me for it…

Rogan replies to the texts through a different phone number on the afternoon of Dec. 13, 2019.

Joe Rogan to Alex Jones, 4:21.49 p.m:
Hey brother you texted my old number. I didn’t say anything bad about you, in fact I gave you credit for being right about a lot of shit including these Chinese monkey pig hybrids. I might have mentioned you drinking, but it was just as an excuse for you. If you don’t want me to mention it again I won’t.
Hope all is well.

Alex Jones to Joe Rogan, 4:26.50 p.m.:
ThanksJones resumed texting Rogan at 8 a.m. the next day, Dec. 14, 2019, sending him Andrew Tate’s contact information, upon Tate’s request.

“If you could drop joe a txt and recommend me for his podcast I would appreciate it,” Tate texted Jones earlier that morning.

Jones and Tate appear to have dined together the night before, based on other messages they exchanged in the thread.

Alex Jones to Joe Rogan, 8:04.33 a.m.:
I have known this guy a few years. He lives in Transylvania and is a really good guest. He is a long time fan of yours and said in the past you followed him on Twitter.

Joe Rogan to Alex Jones, 12:54.51 p.m:
Yeah he’s been trying to get on my podcast for a while. I’m way over booked right now.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
I don't think our society really sat with the idea that the president even HAD a fixer. Not that he turned against him. But that there was a contact in his phone that said"Cohen - Fixer".
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Here's the thing. One day a senator I like will die, and they'll be celebrating. And when you ask them why, they'll regurgitate a series of memes about flouride, "divisiveness", and a subplot of an Angel Studios movie. You've got policy decisions on your side. Party it up.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Oh, but I do it and I'm no longer allowed in Target. apnews.com/article/neth...
apnews.com
Museum honors a late artist by covering its floor in enough peanut butter to make 15,000 sandwiches
More than 800 pounds of peanut butter have been spread across a museum floor in the Netherlands. This tribute honors Dutch artist Wim T. Schippers, who died last month.
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I really can't be surprised that McConnell is holding up his own death.
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George Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
He who laughs last, laughs loudest.
comicsands.com
Rob Reiner Gets In One Last Dig At Trump In Surprise Final Acting Role Alongside Larry David—And It's A Mic Drop
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Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Mitch McConnell dying feels like asking for Transformers for Christmas and getting Gobots.
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