reaston.bsky.social
@reaston.bsky.social
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Once threw a scrunched up ball of paper into the bin from 9 feet away. Whooped and did a little dance. It's all been downhill from there.
Once threw a scrunched up ball of paper into the bin from 9 feet away. Whooped and did a little dance. It's all been downhill from there.
![[Scene is the UK tv show BARGAIN HUNT, at an antiques fair. Presenter NATASHA RASKIN SHARP, expert KATE BLISS and two contestants are shopping for antiques.]
1
NATASHA RS:
Now Derek's spotted a real gem here…
What is it, Kate?
2
KATE BLISS [holding an odd-looking grey item in her hands]:
This, believe it or not...
...is the Rules Based International Order.
[We see the item close up. It is a cracked, broken, misshapen lump of grey pottery with two holes, a UN flag daubed on it, and a random wooden handle sticking out the side.
The contestants both make a face like, “Oooh”
KATE BLISS:
It was made in America
And it's actually what we used to stop World War 3, before everyone got bored of doing that.
So how it worked is, the Americans would speak a geopolitical issue into this hole here…
Turn the handle….
[Speaking into the object’s hole]:
Should we bomb Iran...?
[Lifting her face up from the object, smiling at the contestants]
…and then they'd just do whatever the f--- they liked.
CONTESTANT 1 [easily impressed face]:
Sounds pretty special, Julie
CONTESTANT 2 [to stall holder]:
We’ll give you £290.
[The seller, incidentally, looks a lot like Tony Blair, but that's just a side note]
[Cut to the AUCTION SCENE at the end of Bargain Hunt. The object is on the podium, the auctioneer closing the bidding].
AUCTIONEER:
Sold! £3.65.
CONTESTANTS:
Oh noooo
[We now pull back to see a wider view of the antiques fair and auction, and see that in the distance there is smoke, a distant mushroom cloud, ruined buildings]
NATASHA RS [To the contestants]:
Everything's riding on your mustard pot now!
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifzlmik7v2bczauq434esglopozsn2sqv52scsszb6dvconaalpyq)
