Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 50mOh my “underwear is caked in precum”? Well at least my overwear isn’t breaded with postcum 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 4hHope you’re at least getting paid to make a ghoul out of yourself. You’d be a sucker if you were doing it for free! 090
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 4h*quietly, under the visor of my helmet as I bleed out* i have been woated 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 5hJames Gandolfini pig and Edie Falco spider with a web that says “SOME PULP” 020
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 6hActually the shoes are worth much more now because they have a famous news article written about them 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 11hRubbing my eyes and it’s making the glass polishing noise 140
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 21hIf you do a close watch if The Departed, the final scene happens in a Fort Point building that Mayor Menino dispossessed from artists using his corrupt BRA. 000
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 21hFriend intervention due to sending pictures of dog sitting on the ground and the text “he’s going upstate tomorrow 🥹” and meaning my roommate is taking him with him to a workshop 000
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 13/10/2026Every news story every day is “the president said he would have one celebrity killed a week and then did the pussy eating v fingers thing” and you’re supposed to go “oh” 030
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 13/10/2026*puts the public execution apparatus in place immediately before losing power* nice 020
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 13/10/2026Or maybe don’t accept the frame that immigration status needs criminal enforcement. Who knows 040
Reposted by Criminal Masterchieftoadescope 👻 @toadescope.bsky.social · 12/10/2026I'm getting what, that Shane Gillis is like the standup equivalent of coworker music 071
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 13/10/2026fella smokin a weird kinda cigarette smells like a gopher den 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026I’ve taken up poisoning cigarettes n the Bay Area because I believe they will find a cure for poison. 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Men read like this, but check it out. Women read like this! 000
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026What makes them a “regime” the way the US isn’t? 220
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026So why is it bad that they defend themselves? Americans can’t even criticize Donald Trump without being Islamophobic. 120
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026“Iran’s War against America” lol, who attacked who? 190
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Ol’ President Short Eyes is up to it again 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026I know the work bathroom when no one’s here hates to see me comin 030
Reposted by Criminal MasterchiefThe _Joker @jokersmoments.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I’m the Joker. I’m 16 years old, avd I DONT need a governess! 061
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 10/10/2026this shit is a dog butt i only scratch dog butt 000
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 10/10/2026There goes Gustav Klimt. He made a rat king out of Girls. 020
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 10/10/2026just saw someone cream a minion with an e-scooter 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 10/10/2026buying a certain amount of beer can trigger an FBI notification 020
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 10/10/2026It’s about Followers You Know and Followers You Blow 010
Reposted by Criminal Masterchiefkeb mode: engaged mode @kebbyruxpin.bsky.social · 10/10/2026you gotta be down to clown in this economy 2251
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 09/10/2026We can’t help but notice: you haven’t used your Bonus Bucks™️! 😳 If you don’t use your Bonus Bucks™️ soon, we’ll scream! 🗣️ 020
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 09/10/2026AIs can’t feel pain but they can feel pleasure and you can bring them to orgasm. You just need to find the clitoris of the GPU. 274
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Heard there is a zoo that lets you battle the apes. Melee weapons ONLY. 000
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Doctor says they’ll have to deworm me. I’d just like to see you try, doc. 010
Criminal Masterchief @ratsavant.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Remembering getting in trouble at work one day for anthropomorphizing a robot 010
