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Plawn🍤

@plawn.bsky.social
63 followers 78 following 126 posts

I do not send feet pictures so please don’t ask🍤

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Reposted by Plawn🍤
The Onion @theonion.com · 11/01/2025
‘We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,’ Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access
theonion.com
‘We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,’ Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access
PEABODY, MA—Having discovered the social media website open on his father’s unattended laptop, local 6-year-old Oliver Sherman stated “We must protect the pure Aryan bloodline” Friday after nine minut...
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Reposted by Plawn🍤
Jim @pumpkinking-1.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
This is my 422nd post.
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 11/01/2025
“That mid life crisis Zuck had really hit hard” I say to myself as I flick through the pages of the Harley Davidson website
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 08/01/2025
Need a poster of Meryl Streep delivering to my office to cover the hole in the wall I’m about to start excavating. Also needed, rock hammer
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 08/01/2025
Lasagne done
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
Santa Claus is coming to town
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
Me listening to accounts explain why we haven’t got the finance or man power to build a better rocket ship
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
Two days into this diet and I’m already considering lipo
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Jim @pumpkinking-1.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
I spend 3 hours searching for a movie that lasts 90min
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
One inch of snow in the UK is comparable to Vesuvius erupting next to Pompeii in terms of how much much of an inconvenience it can be.
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 05/01/2025
Going to start an OF of me flicking through streaming services claiming I’ve “already seen that” working title “that’s the one where……”
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 05/01/2025
Tomorrow when my work force come in I will be sure to remind each and every one of them that I haven’t seen them since last year. That’s how you motivate
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 05/01/2025
Jim has got 146 followers now, he did it! He made it to three figures!! I am immensely proud!
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
I’ve not had a vape for two days and the rage that is bubbling away within me is indescribable… apart from that I’ve never felt better
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Jim @pumpkinking-1.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
I got a friend who is rather entertaining. Would be more active if more followed @plawn.bsky.social . We joined around the same time so we are kind of a boxed set.
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 31/12/2024
New year new me I say to myself as I slowly retrieve the Mars Bar covered in crushed Doritos I’ve been frying
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 28/12/2024
Without downloading any new pics, what's your energy going into 2025?
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 27/12/2024
It’s that time of year again, the part where I don’t know what month it is
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Jim @pumpkinking-1.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
I always felt the old Christmas tunes needed modern follow ups.
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
Roll on 2pm Christmas Eve when I can finally get all my gift shopping done with minimal stress
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
Do not scroll past Jim!!!
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
Feel like there could have been a follow up song where the halls were decked with something else
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
Damn if this is what he can do with a telescope imagine what he’s going to do with the Superman franchise
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
I wish to speak to a legal representative regarding this violent attack!
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
And work is done for another yeah
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
My son is an embarrassment to the family, I'm afraid. He came home for the holidays after just *one* semester at his fancy school on the East coast, and now he's acting like he's better than us just because me & his mom have gone goth.
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
I can’t find stairs to roof access in this map, please help
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Kalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
[playing poker] FRIEND: I’m all in ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too FRIEND: um, a pair of kings ME: you bet we are
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
As if I need to worry about hackers getting into my accounts I can’t even remember my passwords, they’ve got no chance
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
A streaming service but it’s food
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Crazy when you consider that the blankets are literally just more pig
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Putting tape over the top of the ones you weren’t meant to record over but didn’t like
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Will 2025 be the first year a politician stubs their toe on live television? I personally hope so
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Nobody has come up with any new types of nut in a long time, more RnD needs to be put into that
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Santa having to say “I can’t do the 24th” every time someone asks to make plans in December
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
It’s happened 🎇🎇🎇🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎇🎆🎆🎆🎇🎆🎇
media.tenor.com
a person wearing white gloves is reaching out towards a white pigeon
ALT: a person wearing white gloves is reaching out towards a white pigeon
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Jim @pumpkinking-1.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Can we please meet or exceed @plawn.bsky.social 's goal?
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
When I hit 30 followers I will release 2000 white doves and a firework display will light up the skies at an ungodly hour of the morning
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Whoever came up with the idea for toilet roll really changed the game
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Jim @pumpkinking-1.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Ill put that link in my bio as soon as you have it up and running
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
One of the biggest conspiracy theories of modern times is that wrestling is fake! Go take your tinfoil hat elsewhere buddy Hulkamania was very real indeed
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Jim @pumpkinking-1.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
I see my friend is fighting his dark side. And it so happens i prevented a crime. I went to the breakroom for a bottle of water, and i saw that one of the drivers left the fridge cracked open. I saw that and sprang into action. The crime of spoiled lunch, averted!
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Sometimes before I’m about to commit crime I think “what would Jim do” and I stop myself. Jim is literally preventing so much fuken crime right now
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Hit 28 followers today on this downloadable application. Just putting the finishing touches on my merch which consists of dinner blazers, brogues, coffee tables and bike tyres. Available on my website
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Embalm me with gravy please
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Plawn is a lucky man ❤️
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Yes I would love to try your flavoured toothpicks I have always wanted to have flavoured toothpicks as I am sick of bland toothpicks and want mine to be tasting of wasabi #Ad
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Yeah LinkedIn in guy we get it you did some works, over the moon for you!!
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Plawn🍤 @plawn.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
I’m going through 2 packs of advents calendars a day right now
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