Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 4hDoes Hyacinth know her postman used to be Herr Flick (2) of the gestapo? 190
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 4hNot for about 20 years except in places that want to give away half a user’s credentials 110
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 5hNow we've come back around to passwords not expiring as long as they're strong enough 110
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 5hI'm old enough to remember when work PCs would remember the last person who logged on, so you only ever had to type your password 3180
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 7hYou have no use for this. I’ll find you a hole or something 240
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 7hI bought a chair but I’m cancelling Prime tomorrow. Hope that helps 100
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 7hThe ergonomic office chair I had my eye on dropped by £35 today so I bought it. I could jizz with anticipation 3260
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 10hSomething at work broke in the way I said it would and it’s not my fault 🥳 2220
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 17hOh god I’m going to have to be a self starter and use my initiative and other stuff I said in the job interview 🙄 1130
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026Wait. Hang on. I think that guy in 2009 was flirting with me 3291
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026If there’s no Nectar offer for my city centre Sainsbury’s lunch I’m not interested. It looks like tomorrow I’ll be having raspberries, walnut pieces, green olives and dark chocolate. I reckon I can make this work 1100
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026I use the corporate template which conveys that message using different phrasing 140
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026“Oh I always select all and delete them!” No you don’t. Nobody does that in real life 170
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026Back to work tomorrow after 5 days off and I checked my email to mentally prepare and some fucker has sent me an email. 1170
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026Did you buy this after reading a review in The Guardian? 100
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026Sorry this has reached the wrong person. I can put you through to the switchboard 120
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026It's orange/clear like Pears. It looks like it could have mosquito DNA in it like in Jurassic Park 110
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026Someone just brought round the prize I won at the church raffle a couple of weekends ago (I think they were raising money to replace the big thermometer all churches display by the front gate) and it's 2 bars of glycerin soap so I've used it and now I smell like my nan's bathroom in 1987 3230
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026An acquaintance (i.e. I haven’t seen his penis) who used to join every conversation about holidays with “I don’t ask for time off, I INFORM them I won’t be in!!” has just been made redundant. I take no pleasure, but you can see where I’m going with this in this economy 2300
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 05/10/2026My phone thinks I'm 30 years younger than I am because it just changed "Tea bags" to "Yeah bro" 0180
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 04/10/2026Well now I can’t remember what this was but it must’ve been good 0140
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 04/10/2026Well… as long as you think about me during at least one of them 120
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 04/10/2026There was a Hallmark-style Christmas film on tv and for a change it was about a gay male couple. Unfortunately it was awful. Also they were far too sweet and romantic when you know they would’ve been fisting each other after the first glass of red 2270
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 04/10/2026I was in bed with her this weekend. (She’s a presenter on Greatest Hits Radio) 010
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 04/10/2026Tonight: giant insects and weird creatures terrorising shoppers in a Tesco Express 180
Jon 🎄 @pifflevalve.eurosky.social · 04/10/2026Surely you can cut the… no wait… if you’ve still got the uh… old…. um… 110
