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Ryan Patton

@pattonious.bsky.social
203 followers 198 following 653 posts

Thecrowtold.me The fear’s an illusion, so don’t even ask.

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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 3h
My Instagram algorithm has become weaponized against me. It’s a bunch of rescue dogs that make me cry. It’s actually been an effective tool to make me be on their less.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 3h
Chief’s games have a ton of B-2 flyovers because the base is only an hour away…but the A-10 flyovers are always my favorite hands down. They make the coolest noise.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 5h
Up there with standing itch behind ear with same side back leg.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 21h
Well, neither are they. (Their slowest player is absolutely 3x faster than me)
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I saw him pointing and followed it to his ankle and OH GOD NO NO NO NO NO NO
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This game is sucking out my will to live.
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Cody Tapp @codybtapp.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
KENNETH FUCKING WALKER
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Literally the text I just sent.
iPhone screen shot of texts saying “this game suckkkkkks” and a reply of “it really sucks”
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
The last two minutes of the first half in this Patriots Bills game is drunk
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
That’s the beauty of Justin Herbert. Exact same guy.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
6:10 btw
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Setting an alarm for 8:30 like I wont wake up at 5:22 am.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
How come whenever things are going pretty well for me, there’s a little gremlin in my head that says “you should fuck this up”?
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Listen, not everyone makes it to 40 hot. Some of us do. Let us enjoy it.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
A very respectful, “god damn”
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
How come whenever things are going pretty well for me, there’s a little gremlin in my head that says “you should fuck this up”?
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Bro doesn’t respect the college of cardinals. Bro hasn’t seen Conclave.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
All of these people can eat fucking shit. I’m so sick of sharing a society with evil creeps.
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
$500,000 might not seem like a lot for an NFL owner like Jed York but you have to remember: that’s enough for him to have had sex 3,125 times at his preferred rate of $160
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I may or may not hang out in this parking lot a lot. But not Ugly Joes.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Hope it’s off “Moon and Antartica” or “Long Drive…”
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
To be fair, there are multiple guys to hate in that post.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Opponent saw that and said “No thank you, not for me”
static.klipy.com
Jerry Seinfeld's Audience Reaction
Alt: Jerry Seinfeld's Audience Reaction. Raises hands as if to say “not for me”, gets up to leave.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
BLACK ARROW! #AEWDynamite
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Honestly, perfect placement for this Orange Cassidy and Moxley match. After how emotional the first few minutes of the show were…this match is just a blast and putting a smile on my face. #AEWDynamite
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I’m so sad man. He was our Bastard.
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SNAKEMAN @kingserpentico.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
When I first got back into wrestling, it was WWE. And I remember seeing Neville. And it was so apparent how fucking good he was. He was head and shoulders above that era of WWE. What a talented Bastard.
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RJ City @rjcity.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The instinct to share something personal about Pac, but the amount of respect, care and commitment he had to wrestling and to being a professional is a line I can't bear to cross - but let that remind you just how good he was. Forever loved, forever respected. What a fucking Bastard.
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TDE Wrestling @tdewrestling.com · 28/09/2026
Unforgettable.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I’m proud of myself for not knowing what happened at the lesbian bar in NYC. Frankly, it doesn’t seem like my business.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This is canonically what the Marce’s Playground song is about.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Haircut. Oktoberfest. Sturgill tonight. Gonna be a gooooood day.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Is there anything hotter than a woman with some grey hairs? I fear I have been Pavlovian trained by Rogue in X-Men the animated series.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Fun part of being 41, I say “brother” a lot. Who am I? Macho Man? Hulk?
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
If only there was a way these fuckheads could have seen this coming.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Asking me to do my job past 3:30 on a Friday? Good luck, pal.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Gonna be singing “Don’t ever buy me flowers, all I want are seafood towersssssssss” til Thanksgiving.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This new @karinarykman.bsky.social album is just a banger. Absolutely going to be my album of the fall (came out too late to be my album of the summer)
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Are we winning the cup? Yes.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Is it preseason? Yeah. Do I care? No.
A screen shot of a score, with the San Jose Sharks leading the Anaheim Ducks 8-0
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This one isn’t the thirstiest, but I was trying to capture some golden hour light in a car selfie.
Just a dude in sunglasses taking a car selfie.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
So the room must listen to me, filibuster vigilantly.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Actually, yes. Done.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
These are risks I’m willing to take. I live on the edge. 😎
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I’m running this experiment currently. But I’m not a Red Bull guy, I am a Coke Zero guy. Gonna crack a cold one for the noon game.
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
What is the ideal “Red Bull in freezer” time?
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It’s very simple and it’s been said over and over but I guess it needs saying continuously: if you deem one group too small to have equal rights you are enabling fascism, not fighting it. The people saying Dems are GREAT on trans rights are not paying attention and/or saying stuff like this.
Nichole Hiltz
The Democrats defend the Kennedy Center but not trans people.
A building.

@treewarrior.bsky....
maybe because defending everything about a super small minority of the population is not worth losing to fascists
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
If not now, then when?
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Ryan Patton @pattonious.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I enjoyed this conversation so immensely. It put into words so many thoughts that have been rattling around my brain but didn’t quite have shape until you and Ryan said them. It was supposed to be a lazy listen turned into one of my favorite podcasts ever.
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