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Patrick

@patrickkeefe.bsky.social
178 followers 99 following 2.9K posts

And on the third day, Jesus owned Judas at skee ball. Abolish ICE

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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 3h
My entire family is at Notre Dame this weekend. We haven't been since my dad got cancer 12 years ago. There were times I wondered if I would get to see another game with him, so this feels pretty special.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 3h
Vape Ape
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
If Philadelphia were a person
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I feel so athletic when I smack a fly out of the air with my hand.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Who is the audience for the matchbox movie?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
ESPN is a bastion of optimism. They'll be like this guy is going to score 12 points this week and you look at his box score and he's scored 11 points this season.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
We’re not going to develop herd immunity if we rescue people like this
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
he think he slick
eric schmitt think he slick with his slack jaw hanging open while trying to pull a GOTCHA on two black staffers
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
ATL legend Brian Robinson Jr
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I had no idea Mike Tomlin was SO likable. He seems like a genuinely great human.
youtube.com
Mike Tomlin Addresses His Viral Minecraft City, Says Steelers Fans Still Give Him Their Opinions
YouTube video by Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
When the Trump administration says we should appreciate the sacrifices of law enforcement, including ICE, what sacrifice are they talking about exactly?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Went to see my parents yesterday and when I got there my mom was dual wielding leaf blowers.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Normalize non-alcoholic beer at work
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
CMC is washed, right?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
This new breed of wide receiver…ugly. All of them.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
My 3-year old has informed the three emotions are sad, mad, and medium.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Google's AI image generator is so unbelievably bad. At least ChatGPT can make a convincing image of Trump eating beans out of a toilet.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
creatine donut
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
You ever not in the mood for things you don’t like?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A LEGIT FLOP!
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
hey whats up its me ya boy 2x multiplier
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
You gotta admit…the lead singer for As I Lay Dying paying someone to kill his wife is pretty metal. Oops, it was the feds! Not metal.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Cam Skattebo has definitely eaten dog food. On purpose.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The thing I'm looking forward to most in the future is not having to hear about Donald Trump anymore
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I will not be taking questions.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Who are you rooting for tonight – the New York Giants or the Savannah Bananas?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
It’s fine, these are my chili-making shorts
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Microwaving an entire cauliflower and then submitting my two weeks
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
how come no one talks about zendaya's codpiece if dune
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Is this Amazon broadcast dark for anyone else?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The dehumidifier I put outside is NOT working
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I will never see what's new in chrome
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I’ve gotten in trouble twice for ignoring the 3 days in office directive multiple times and my radicalization toward violent class warfare is accelerating
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Welcome to the #1 account for complaining about St. Louis weather
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
tfw when you love your new lobotomy
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Kenny Walker is the only good player the Chiefs have
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Costco should sell weed
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Bacon Crew, is bacon technically confit?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
high protein white russian
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Mike McDaniel looks like the "computer guy" for a drug cartel
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Ladd McConkey is an all-time horrible name
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
My son is trying to draw dinosaurs and I’d say his best so far is the penisaurus rex
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
SHIT! I can't believe I forgot to never forget that my milk expired today!
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I forgot that NFL games are roughly 65% commercials
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Go Irish!
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
It’s #goodactually that every day is 15° hotter than average.
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I’m in the Baby of the Year contest and today is the last day to vote! Show out for ya boy/baby!
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
@jeffkrisko.bsky.social I don't follow baseball and I know nothing about baseball culture. Can you explain why everyone hates the Cardinals?
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Man cannot survive on tums alone
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Patrick @patrickkeefe.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Okay, so maybe there is such a thing as too much orange soda
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