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Morgue Barbie, MD

@pathologiste08.bsky.social
3.5K followers 278 following 716 posts

Mer. Last Responder. She/elle I like running obscenely long distances in exchange for shiny things🏅and street cred. 😎 Jesus might turn water into wine, but he can’t turn your whining into anything.

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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Therapist: Perhaps you could consider using kinder language when you talk about yourself. My 🧠: She's right. Be nicer to yourself, you stupid hoe.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Peak Midwestern: I flew into my hometown, and my college's president (and former Congressional representative!) was on the same flight and gave me a ride to my destination so I wouldn't have to take an Uber 😂
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
There's a pack of teenagers on some sort of school trip staying at the same hotel as me. They're hanging out (quietly) in the corridor, presumably because boys aren't allowed in girls' rooms & vice versa. Takes me back to my All-State Jazz days 🥲🎷
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
HELLO AMERICA! This week *spins wheel* SOAP is contaminated with *spins wheel* ANTIBIOTIC-RESISTANT BACTERIA!
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I reread one of the books I had to read in my honors English class in college (during my short-lived stint in the honors program) and finally had an answer to a question the prof had posed back then. So naturally I FB messaged her with my conclusions, 18 years later. As one does. 🤓
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
At a café, watching a lady have a full-blown verbal dispute with a husky. The husky is winning.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
When I was in high school, old people always told me that high school would be the best time of my life. Well, right now I'm lounging in my bed in my own apartment and listening to an audiobook that I bought with my six figure salary, and this shit is *way* the fuck better than high school. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I hate having to pull rank when scheduling medical appointments. Why is it that "I'm only available after 4 PM and not at all on Thursdays" somehow only clicks when I add the qualifier "I'm a doctor"? 🫠
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
"Desperate people do desperate things, Joanne. I only have six days!" Overheard at the craft store
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Sax repair guy: "When did you last have this in the shop?" Me: "In 2011, after it got smashed up on the way to and from Egypt." Sax repair guy: 🤨 Me: "Long story. Don't worry about it. Anyway, the left second key is sticking..." #MyLore 🎷 #SoSaxy
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Cicadas can sit in the trees and scream all summer long but when *I* do it I'm just "disturbing the peace" and "need to either stop it or go with EMS to the hospital" 😒🙄
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
As a member of the former Eastern Bloc diaspora, it all seems rather familiar on an inherited memory level.
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Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
C. Robert Cargill @crobertcargill.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Someone called the cyclospora outbreak MAHA Blast and I'm cackling like I'm 13 again.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Friend: I'm pregnant! Me (mentally still 17 but with a horizontal driver's license and six-figure salary): Oh shit, do you know who the dad is? Did you tell your mom yet? 🫪 Friend: ...we were doing IVF, so yes on both counts.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Autopsy tech: "Doc, pull your pants up." Me: "Ope, thanks! Only thing holding these scrub pants up is a double knot and a prayer." Autopsy tech: "Yeah well the prayer ain't working." #LookinLikeAFool
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
New fellows are friends, not food. #MedEd #4N6
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Tech: *trying to get suction to work at our autopsy bench* Me: Just use the sponge, man. Tech: I'm trying, Doc. My lil' sponge can only do so much! #4N6 #JustAutopsyThings
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Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
Dr. Canuck, MD @drcanuckmd.medsky.social · 07/06/2026
Be prepared this month folks 🏳️‍🌈
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
"Girl, I see you." -Lady limping through the library in a knee brace as I limp past her in my walking boot
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Me: Ok but what if we bought a loom and-- Me to me: NO. *sprays self with water*
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Me: So I've got this child abuse conference in September-- Friend: Sometimes I forget what you do for a living. 😳 #Just4N6Things
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Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
Trish Greenhalgh @trishgreenhalgh.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Every summer I repost this article on how to spot drowning. Please read it and pass on. In the last few years I’ve had SIX messages from people who saved a kid’s life after clicking on the link from my feed. slate.com/technology/2...
slate.com
Drowning Doesn’t Look Like Drowning
Drowning is not the violent, splashing call for help that most people expect.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
The nice thing about being in a walking cast is that people move their shit off the priority seats on the bus so you can sit down. And they don't get mad at you for falling right on top of them when the driver takes off too quickly and you lose your balance 🤡🫠
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
When you're slacking off at work but your boss is still pleased with your performance
A sticker on a sidewalk that says "#1 Trusted POS"
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
The bonesmashing is done, alas. This summer we're bonesmaxxing.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Dudebro ortho medical assistant: "Bruh what happened to your foot?" Me: "Idk bruh, but it hurts like a bitch." #CulturalCompetency
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
Flight Attendant 1: Do you need any help? Flight Attendant 2: Yeah, mental help. FA 1: *holds up carafes* I've got tea or coffee, if that'll do? FA 2: Sure look, that'll have to then. Oh Aer Lingus, please never change 😂☘️✈️
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Go hiking at the north coast two days after running a marathon, they said. It will be fun, they said.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
Not dead. Marathon #13 ✅ 🏅☘️🍻🏃🏻‍♀️
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
Every time I present my Latvian passport, it's my own little way of saying fuck you, Stalin--we're still here. 🇱🇻🖤🇺🇸 🛂
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
My Uber driver in Paris has actual emesis bags tucked in the door pockets of his car. Quel pro ! 5 étoiles.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Woman in the elevator: "Would you still love me if I was a worm?" Man accompanying her: *thinks long and hard for a moment* "What kind of worm?"
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Coworker: Are you ok? Me: Yeah, just been cutting fixed brains. 🧠🥹
media.tenor.com
a woman in a tiger costume is crying with her eyes closed and tears running down her face .
ALT: a woman in a tiger costume is crying with her eyes closed and tears running down her face .
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Me: Like what if I was, in fact, a shitty resident and I'm actually terrible at my job and nobody's said anything for 5 years and management just keeps me around because I'm funny?? 🥺 Therapist:
media.tenor.com
a woman in a plaid shirt is sitting on a couch with the words just stop below her
ALT: a woman in a plaid shirt is sitting on a couch with the words just stop below her
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
I'm reading @barackobama.bsky.social's latest memoir and was telling my cats about the Affordable Care Act. Then I realised he was president years before either of them were born and I had to lie down. #ImOld
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
Coworker: "Wait, you're from South Dakota?? I'd just assumed you were East Coast." I've never been so insulted in my life. #MidwestRepresent
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
Gaze long into the abyss, and the abyss will gaze also into you. And offer toe beans.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
Something Smells Like Piss and Rotting Feet and I Hope it isn't Me: A Chicago Airport Story 🥰
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Valentine's Day is so commercial, let's not lose track of the real meaning of this special day

The day native Hawaiians stabbed British Captain James Cook right in his colonizing fucking neck on February 14, 1779
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
I'm glad the Seahawks won at the Bad Bunny concert last night.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
@solomonmissouri.bsky.social Lutherans at it again lol
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Just binge read a book from @chipublib.bsky.social and found this at the back cover 🥹 Whomever left this in a copy of "All the Light We Cannot See," I loved the book. 🥰
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
Me to my 🧠: I know you want a quick dopamine hit, but we are not buying new running shoes. We don't need them. We have a perfectly good pair at home. I understand that you want them and that we got paid this week but NO.
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
I want @hcrichardson.bsky.social to read me bedtime stories where frightening things happen but the protagonist pulls through and things are better in the end. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
🎶 I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending 🎶
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
My building has a NYE party on tonight and it has been many moons since I drank Barefoot wine out of a solo cup 😂🍷
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
Update: today they were lifting weights while watching the Food Network in the yoga room. #Progress #Goals
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Networking vertically also runs both ways. The best part of having made it™️ professionally is being able to drop a ladder and help others climb: having people job shadow, writing LOR's/being a reference for job hunts, sharing opportunities with people who might not otherwise hear of them, etc. ☺️
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Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
Natalie @heartimecia.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
you can def network vertically, but prioritize networking horizontally surround yourself with kind, hardworking, and talented friends, and it’s only a matter of time before your careers go places also: if you can’t take an opportunity, pass it on to a friend who’d do just as well if not better
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Morgue Barbie, MD @pathologiste08.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
Nothing says Merry Christmas from Chicago like a giant city rat running through the Christmas light tunnel at a holiday-themed pop-up 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🐀
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