Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 08/08/20261. Milkshake duck 2. 'Ed Balls' 3. 'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party. 4. me: can you dust my wets? server: you can just ask for Parmesan cheese me, confused, lifts all of my spaghetti with my hands: please. My wets. 010
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 04/07/2026Drop an image from your favorite filmstatic.klipy.comHot Fuzz - Man with Mustache ReactsAlt: Hot Fuzz: the Sanford police detectives stare down Sergeant Angel; both leave, one returns, then leaves again. 010
Reposted by Matt / parraisAlistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 06/03/2026Pretty difficult to refute a single thing in this perfect assessment of where the f**k we are, from @iandunt.bsky.social: 452172495399
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 19/02/2026The Matrix Revolutions. It was such an unsatisfying end to the trilogy, and it wasn't even fun to watch - the main 'real world' battle with the sentinels had so much going on it was more of an assault on the eyes (especially on the big screen) than a spectacle to be enjoyed. 220
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 14/09/2025Ultraviolet: British 6-part drama with Jack Davenport and Idris Elba as part of an organisation of vampire hunters. A 'believable' (as much as anything can be) modern take on vampire mythology. 100
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 12/08/2025'Men in Black' by Will Smith (which I'm pretty sure was the first MP3 I downloaded... over dialup 😬) 010
Reposted by Matt / parraisMax B 💙 🔶 🇺🇦 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 @maxbrockbank.com · 11/08/2025What I don't get is why it's left to the Lib-Dems to point this out? 1419184
Reposted by Matt / parraisRob Bryher @robbryher.bsky.social · 07/08/2025I love Jonathan Edwards. And he's right too! www.bbc.co.uk/sport/athlet...bbc.co.ukJonathan Edwards' 30-year-old triple jump world record 'not a good sign for athletics'Jonathan Edwards' triple jump world record has been standing for 30 years - why hasn't it been broken? 151
Reposted by Matt / parraisDavid Bisset @davidbisset.com · 24/07/2025Why I 🧡 the web. drawafish.com Just draw the fish. Trust me. 🐟 10023051204
Reposted by Matt / parraisJen @ladyjenpool.bsky.social · 22/06/2025Computers used to scream every time they connected to the Internet. They knew. They tried to warn us. We did not listen. 56109353683
Reposted by Matt / parraisStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 17/06/2025I’m convinced this is how a bay leaf would talk 351405403
Reposted by Matt / parraisHelen 🏳️⚧️✊🏻💕 @mimmymum.bsky.social · 27/05/2025This is a brand new letter by “Not in Our Name - Women”, a collective group of cisgender women who support the transgender community and object to the false divide between women’s rights and transgender rights. If you’re a cis woman you can sign your support here ⤵️change.orgSign the PetitionNot in our name: Women in support of the trans+ community 9315145
Reposted by Matt / parraismichael10546.bsky.social @michael10546.bsky.social · 25/05/2025The UK is a lost cause since Brexit. Similarly to the US, there is now a large, incompressible segment of illiterate morons who will actively seek the most outrageous clown to vote for - disregarding even their own selfish interest as long as they are flattered and entertained. 0131
Reposted by Matt / parraisAlejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net · 24/05/2025Every Harry Potter book or shirt you buy directly funds the persecution of trans people. There's absolutely no excuse to support anything Harry Potter anymore unless you hate trans people. 14693164193
Reposted by Matt / parraisNick Reeves #FBPE #NAFO @nickreeves.bsky.social · 19/05/2025Please repost if you want the full restoration of our EU Freedom of Movement, which was stolen from us by the worst abuses of democracy in modern British history, and was the worst curtailment of our liberty in 200 years. 29282
Reposted by Matt / parraisKatie Mack @astrokatie.com · 08/05/2025<diligently updating the list of career paths on the university’s “Major in Mathematics!” poster> 162151293
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 08/05/2025Show your age! What was number one the day you were born and day you turned 18 Kate Bush - Wuthering Heights Take That - How Deep Is Your Love 050
Reposted by Matt / parraisNatacha @natacha.bsky.social · 27/04/2025This is who “gender-critical” activists are… 10472141
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 29/03/2025'Shine' by Take That. Forever condemned to be a Morrisons supermarket jingle in my mind. 000
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 09/02/2025Age yourself with a film you saw in the theatres as a kid...media.tenor.coma space ship is flying through space with red lasers coming out of it 's wings .Alt: Death Blossom attack from 'The Last Starfighter' (1984) 130
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 08/02/2025First time running the challenging B-course at Delamere #parkrun - twice up and down Old Pale Hill for a total of 170m of elevation! As far as I know, the only UK parkruns with more climbing are Durlston and Whinlatter. I got nowhere near my PB of course, but was pleased to get inside 26 minutes. 090
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 11/01/2025My nearest FORTY-SIX #parkrun events were all cancelled today (according to the 5K app) so a rare Saturday lie-in for me. Hopefully the weather will be better next week! ❄️ 050
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 05/01/2025You've been kidnapped. The characters of the last TV show you watched are coming to save you. Very happy with what my wife put on the TV earlier, particularly if my kidnappers are supernatural!media.tenor.coma close up of a woman 's face with blonde hair and a yellow necklaceAlt: Buffy the Vampire Slayer glaring 220
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 28/12/2024Very pleased to complete my 100th #parkrun this morning (and my 52nd of 2024) after doing my first in January last year. Coincidentally, I got finish token #100! I was 'touring' at Markeaton Park in Derby (my old home town) due to visiting family for Christmas. #loveparkrun 1170
Reposted by Matt / parraisThe Onion @theonion.com · 23/12/2024Cat Clinging To Side Of Christmas Tree Admits That Was Extent Of Plan theonion.com/cat-clinging... 214237254100
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 07/12/2024For the first time this year, I'm staying in bed rather than heading out to #parkrun due to the awful conditions and cancellation of every event within an hour's drive #StormDarragh 050
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 28/11/2024Your first parkrun: Ellesmere Port Your last parkrun: Princes (Liverpool) Your home parkrun: Ellesmere Port Your favourite parkrun: Delamere Your bucket list parkrun: Fountains Abbey #loveparkrun #parkrun 170
Reposted by Matt / parraisLee Hurley @hleehurley.com · 18/11/2024@samanthaasumadu.bsky.social subscribe to this blocklist as the first thing you do - bsky.app/profile/hedg... 1192
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 13/11/2024Would love to see #parkrun having a greater presence on Bluesky! In the meantime, here's the feed: bsky.app/profile/did:... 260
Matt / parrais @parrais.co.uk · 13/11/2024I think the time to move here properly is nigh... just need to work out how to fully delete my Twitter account. 030
![Comic. [Top panel: Long-necked dinosaur with red X over it.] [Bottom panel: two smaller dinosaurs the same shape except their neck isn’t long, while in the background there’s an extremely long neck criss-crossing the frame like a snake. Green check mark in center.] [caption] Thanks to modern paleontological reconstructions, we now know that most sauropods had short necks, and all those extra vertebrae belonged to the sauropod colony’s queen.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreigjcepbb3hjlvpjzmj6msuydmem6gdakkl5svr4kh4q7qi3c4m2fu)
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for the Guardian, here's the script:
[Scene is the inside of a SOUP. Some CARROTS and BITS OF BROCCOLI are floating around and a STOCK CUBE and a BAY LEAF have just been dropped in.]
1
STOCK CUBE:
Alright lads - this is Bay Leaf.
My colleague from the spice rack.
2
BROCCOLI:
Hi Bay Leaf
BAY LEAF:
Yuh yuh hi
3
CARROTS:
You up for getting proper blended with us later, Bay Leaf?
BAY LEAF:
Nuh mate, getting scooped out before soup stage.
4
CARROTS:
Oh! So… you’re not being eaten then?
BAY LEAF:
Eaten! Haha
5
BAY LEAF:
Not allowed mate.
I’m afraid I’m a lil’ bit *toooo intense*...
6
BAY LEAF:
Just here for the flavour hit.
Special forces, y’know.
That’s why there’s just one of me.
7
BAY LEAF:
Over-deploy and you’d have this whole soup stiiinking of bay leaf…
8
BAY LEAF:
You might wanna stand back actually.
This place is about to get preeetty bay leafy...
9
[Silent pause]
10
CARROTS:
Are you doing something
BAY LEAF:
Sure am mate.
11
BAY LEAF:
Suuuuure am.
12
BAY LEAF [Getting scooped out by chef’s spoon]:
You need training to perceive it.
CARROTS:
OK](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibguu2d74i7v7yrkx2z5vsiluhrnkp2uayri2gmcm4gpl4d3dvlgq)
