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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️

@onionweigher.hellthread.vet
4.8K followers 1.4K following 1K posts

§ 1032. Onion weigher - A weigher of onions shall be appointed who is neither directly nor indirectly involved in the sale or distribution of onions.

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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 13h
in the 1980's the soviet union was commonly mocked in the west as a gerantrocracy because it was managed by men in their 70's, don't hear much about that these days
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 21/09/2026
cat realized the water fountain is the matrix
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 21/09/2026
how can we all get the same card on the same day? isn't that the opposite of how tarot cards work?
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 21/09/2026
It may be possible
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 21/09/2026
it's about 450g
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 21/09/2026
what the hell
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
another great day on earth. fucking sucks sometimes but I guess it's better than waking up on Venus
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
it's so easy to become lost in the labyrinth of your own bullshit, feels great when something snaps you out of it
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
That sounds more realistic, not that far off from a lemon
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
Num num fruits from the num num bush, that's the fruit for me. Nam nam fruits don't grow on a bush, they grow on the trunk of a tree. Num num fruits from the num num bush; that's a lot of vitamin C, and the num num fruits, they turn to mush, unlike the fruits from the nam nam tree.
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
I forgot what they were called and was looking up recipes for "nam nam fruits" but it turns out that is a totally unrelated fruit which also exists
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
I have processed the num num fruits into num num jam. I tasted it and it tastes like vitamin C tablets. Looking it up, I saw one source that says that num num fruits are 10% ascorbic acid, but that can't possibly be right. But it tastes like cranberries mixed with oranges and lemon juice, so maybe
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
I have harvested the num num fruits
num num fruits in a small pot
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 10/09/2026
I never left. I just keep forgetting my password
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 24/08/2026
ah yeah there's just several years where no laws can be passed, that's democracy
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 04/05/2026
it's beautiful
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Reposted by Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️
Anna Mazzola @annamazz.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
Some useful public speaking tips from Freud here.
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
I'm kidding, I won't handsome
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
thank you! I will take this as medical advice and sue you later
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
what's up with them, why do I wake up with dry eyes
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
I just experienced sneezing for the first time: here's the situation
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
I don't know how else to describe this guy's vibe except "alien researcher who materialized into an adult human body and is struggling to understand earth biology"
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
everything is fucked up but you have to keep going
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
the solution to real quicksand is planking and slowly crawling away. I guess in this metaphor that would be taking the L and moving on
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
the voice acting is amazing but it's not edgy enough
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
I tried to remember what the daily wire was today, but I had it confused with the daily caller, and I was actually confused with the daily beast, all of which are competing in my brain with the daily mail. Make up better names
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 02/05/2026
social media discourse works like quicksand, the more you struggle against it, the deeper into it you sink until it completely consumes you.
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 26/04/2026
imagine just,
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 26/04/2026
haha yeah
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 16/04/2026
the veep being excommunicated would be the most "veep" thing I could imagine
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Reposted by Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️
/| |/ /| @ava-aim.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
doesn’t seem so scary.
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 31/03/2026
ah to have the innocence of one who has never tasted a wild plum
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 31/03/2026
there are many types of plums, these are not your supermarket plums
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 27/03/2026
it's been a mixed bag, Archibald
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 27/03/2026
lowkey underrated snack: bowl of plums. really nice when chilled. great for breakfast
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Reposted by Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️
my buddy eric @mybuddyeric.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
helping my mom backup her old busted laptop and among many insane things, my favorite so far is this recipe for Onion Syrup (from Onion Syrup.PNG)
an article from maybe the nyt on onion syrup as an 'old-fashioned concotion for kids' and way too many paragraphs covering the fact that of course onion syrup isnt fixing your problem
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Reposted by Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️
haunted girlfriend @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
fuck your cold ass plums
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 09/03/2026
休暇中に素晴らしい建物を訪れることはいつでもできる
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 08/03/2026
these just sound Dutch
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Reposted by Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️
Jjinandtonic @jjinandtonic.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
Some delightful bit arbitrage
for years, society was limited to only 16 syrup squares per waffle but with recent combinatorial optimization breakthroughs our research department has achieved previously unheard of densities of waffle
syrup

Combinatorial optimazation waffle with 17 squares
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 04/03/2026
fake. this isn't real. we fooled you. it never happened. not this time. it wasn't real. made up by our authors. it didn't occur. not this time. wasn't real.
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 03/03/2026
he's got the vibe
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 03/03/2026
475 grams maybe, the fish eye lens is throwing me off and I haven't been to a taco bell in years
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 28/01/2026
the heart wants to cry "will stancil forever" but the mind remembers that he is not radicalized enough yet
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 26/01/2026
if Michael Avenatti were president
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 18/01/2026
I'm dr. geckoing your name right now
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 18/01/2026
I apologize for previously referring to Will Stancil as "Will Stencil"
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 18/01/2026
I think it is a bit over
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 28/10/2025
the pope has been awake for 32 hours watching this game
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Onion Weigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher.hellthread.vet · 28/10/2025
both solid choices, sounds like a good place
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