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CEO Johnny Cans

@oldmatecans.bsky.social
3.5K followers 840 following 21K posts

he/him johnnycans.medium.com for longer writing tiktok.com/@itsjohnnycans for millennial pauses The blackberry phone was the posters katana, a true masterpiece of form. All opinions are personal, not professional.

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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 8m
Ok so why does the lady look like the people in Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun video I was assured that wasn't real.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 35m
The computer belongs in a room then internet cannot escape from and every time you log on it should scream at you
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 56m
Under National's new policy about standing down and drug testing those not working, Simeon Brown has resigned and is on his way for a test.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 1h
*airhorns* the rare Chris Luxon handing it to him has occurred
Luxon promises no changes on abortion, conversion therapy laws

Responding to Peters' comments on abortion, Christopher Luxon said the laws were settled and he would not be changing them.

"I said in 2023 I would not be changing them as prime minister, and I've met that commitment, and I'll continue to meet that commitment," he said.

"There will be no changes under me as prime minister."

Luxon also shot down Peters' hopes for reversing the conversion therapy ban: "No, we're not overturning that at all. That's not changing whatsoever."
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 1h
I know Portsmouth hasn't covered itself in glory lately but we were bang on about this red trousers cunt when he was running the Scummers
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 1h
One of the great photos
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 1h
How about we test every National candidate because they're clearly smoking something
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 2h
"I want to use high quality infrastructure but do not want to pay for it" is the biggest ideological entrenchment that needs to be removed from our political discourse.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 2h
sometimes the algorithm is good, it's thrown Rina Sawayama at me today and XS sounds like a classic Britney track and I fucking love that
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 2h
Labour don't want to rark the waters thing up because it was a major pain point in 23 and National are hoping they can put it on councils and the companies when the spatter starts landing
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 2h
it almost feels like we're all building three waters again in the stupidest most difficult and expensive manner imaginable while pissing off everyone at the same time
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 3h
It's very funny for a tribunal to go "yeah double dumbass, we can't do more here" publicly.
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Ms Hooper @mshooper.bsky.social · 7h
“The picture Hager’s trilogy paints of the last 20 years is not of democracy corrupted by a few bad apples, but of the brutal conflict between the interests of ordinary people and those of the rich and powerful.” #nzpol
stuff.co.nz
How New Zealand’s right turned culture war into political strategy
Nicky Hager’s latest book argues the tactics of New Zealand’s organised right have changed, but the interests behind them have not.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 3h
Which makes the National policy of going after the lines companies even more ridiculous because it just means we end up doing the water thing with power in a decade or so.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 3h
You might say that, I could not possibly comment etc etc
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 3h
almost as if the actual consequences of the reforms have quite deliberately not been spoken about by those implementing them because they'd be radically unpopular so "cheaper than three waters" has been the line, can't imagine why that's been the call
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
There's no choice with the model anyway, and the separate balance sheet stuff is designed to keep water away from other services. It's a mess but it's a designed mess.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
Nup, rates caps don't include water charges. Very deliberate move because the govt knows the majority of rates increases recently have been water related and they know charges have to go up by lots still.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
It is, but this seems fairly unequivocal on "no and here's why"
Why we do not intend to price-regulate Tiaki Wai in the near term 
• There has been considerable public discussion about whether price-quality regulation should 
be applied to Tiaki Wai. 
• We’ve been examining that question closely. 
• The short answer is that price-quality regulation would not reduce prices for Wellingtonians over 
the next three to five years. 
• That may sound surprising, so let me explain. 
• Our modelling does not start with the approximately $9 billion asset value assigned to Tiaki Wai’s 
assets. 
• One approach would be to start with that asset value and build prices from there by adding 
returns, debt servicing and operational requirements. 
• But that’s not how we approached the analysis. 
• Instead, we started with a practical question: 
• How much revenue does the organisation actually need to service debt, meet operating costs 
and invest efficiently? 
• Working backwards from those requirements, the answer is that prices would need to be higher, 
not lower. 
• Tiaki Wai is under significant financial pressure. It has deferred substantial cost recovery into the 
future and relies on highly accommodating funding arrangements. 
• That’s why we do not intend to apply price-quality regulation to Tiaki Wai in the near term. 
• What we can do is continue applying pressure through our existing tools, including Information 
disclosure and performance requirements.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
happy listen to @bloodwork.show birthday
It's a cake with a target on it and a gun and some bullets
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
Amazing this didn't get a lot of media coverage as it reveals that LWDW is going to cost ratepayers a lot more in the next five years before the Comm Comm start price regulation because the gap between revenue and infrastructure is massively. Oops.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
I've put it into the reply to Ben but the chair of the Commerce Commission stated last week that they won't price regulate Wellington until they've got revenues up to do the infrastructure work. This is going to happen everywhere soon. www.comcom.govt.nz/news-and-med...
comcom.govt.nz
Delivering better outcomes for water consumers: the role of economic regulation | Commerce Commission
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
I mean even the CommComm chair is going "yeah we're not regulating prices until revenues get up" which feels like something people should know about eh.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 4h
Ben you've read Dr Smalls speech right? That regulating TW wouldn't bring prices down in the next 3 - 5 years anyway because the price rise is necessary to do the work that's needed. Going to see this around NZ when other CCOs kick into gear next year. Troubling. www.comcom.govt.nz/news-and-med...
comcom.govt.nz
Delivering better outcomes for water consumers: the role of economic regulation | Commerce Commission
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 5h
Incredible break from the govt omerta on what their own water reforms mean here. Can't wait to see Chris Luxon obviously back this and not immediately dismiss it because he's painted himself into an austerity corner.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 13h
For sale: white fiat uno
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Jennifer @jennifilm.nz · 16h
Our conversion practices prohibition legislation is more popular than New Zealand First or Winston Peters has ever been and it will long outlast him.
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Jennifer @jennifilm.nz · 16h
It's shocking how much media attention we give someone who is the political equivalent of a drunk uncle bragging at the bbq. That legislation had the biggest submission campaign in support at the time. Roughly 50% of NZF's total vote count in 2023 submitted in favour.
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Jennifer @jennifilm.nz · 17h
Peters can bluster all he likes but I won't stop fighting for all trans people's right to bodily autonomy and self determination, including trans kids, and I've got a lot more years left on the clock than he does. If he thinks he can touch the conversion practices ban he's in for a fight. Tick tock!
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 17h
The gangs all there he's got pro conversion therapy, anti abortions and the ugly fucken transphobia god natural causes cannot come soon enough
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 17h
Oh look bang on time Winston trying to undermine the other bit of LGBTQ progress we all got done when he was on his arse out of Parliament fuck you man
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 06/07/2026
Cristiano Ronaldo: what if a mall in Dubai was a person
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 21h
"I will let you scratch my tummy and won't bite you" - Puss Puss
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gamera obscura october edition @ohrobin.bsky.social · 21h
The impossibly wonderful Eva Marie Saint has died at 102. Tonight you should watch North by Northwest, one of the foundational texts of my aesthetic life — in romance, sexuality, clothes, architecture, danger. A part of me has been trying to live inside that film ever since I first saw it.
Eva Marie Saint and Cary Grant look at each other from across a small divide in the train compartment Eva smokes and looks out the window, perfect, suggestive but self-contained. The two stand in the train corridor, Grant in sunglasses and Eva vulnerable but granite strong and key lit. Eva walks away down the corridor
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 23h
NZ first is out and it's a who's who of who shouldn't be in politics www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...
rnz.co.nz
NZ First list ranks newcomers above sitting MPs
New Zealand First has unveiled its candidate list, giving high placements to former MPs Alfred Ngaro, Michael Laws and Harete Hipango-Brownlie.
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SAG-AFTRA @sagaftra.org · 06/10/2026
We celebrate Eva Marie Saint, who died today at 102. A #SagAftraMember since 1947, Saint won an Oscar for her film debut in 'On the Waterfront' and starred in 'North by Northwest.' An advocate for organized labor, she leaves an enduring example for generations of union members.
Eva Marie Saint looking into the camera. 
Photo credit: PhotofestMarlon Brando and Eva Marie Saint in 'On the Waterfront.' 
Photo credit: Columbia Pictures/Photofest © Columbia PicturesCary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in 'North by Northwest.' Photo credit: Photofest
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Michael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Cary Grant & Eva Marie Saint on location shooting NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
RIP Eva Marie Saint, 102 and luminescent in North by Northwest.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Hey look Tamaki's amazing Labour candidate is in court today defending the LGBTQ community
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Tame: Mr Luxon your response? Luxon: Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...
A table showing Luxon said the word Chris 37 times in the debate. Hipkins said it once. He did say Christopher 8 times though.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Credit to Hayden Donnell for asking Winston directly about his transphobia on two occasions during his little tour of the North Shore and peeling off that veneer of charm to reveal what he is for a few seconds. thespinoff.co.nz/politics/07-...
“She's a total nobody,” he insists to The Spinoff. “I'm not offending anybody. I'm in a public place, and she's saying that I've got no right to come to a public place, and only you would give her coverage for an extraordinarily arrogant argument like that. What's your next question?” The Spinoff goes back to Anderson, asking what he’d say to someone like that, who’s worried about her child and the effect his policies are having on him. “Why doesn’t she wait till the child grows up before she starts deciding for a child what the child wants?” he ventures.

For a second, the charisma is gone, replaced by something darker. But then, informed that Anderson’s son isn’t a young child, he gets back to more familiar territory. “You don't know how old? This is a jack up. I'm not wasting my time on such silly questions. Go back to The Spinoff, and you're not going to win the election,” he says. Then he flashes that grin. The eyes twinkle.
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Momo @heyheymomo.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Did you know you only need a small brain to make silly little drawings?
4 panel comic:
Panel 1: pink blob guy on a table, pencil in their hands. Grey circle on a piece of paper and a glass of water on the table. They say “look here”
Panel 2: Proudly, they hold up the drawing of a grey blobby character on two stick legs up in the air. The pink blob says “I drew this!”
Panel 3: Satisfied they sit back down on the table. They now go “it’s not much, but..” The grey drawing looks a bit peeved because the drawer is calling it “not much”
Panel 4: But it’s okay, because now the pink blob is very pleased finally. He says “it came from my brain!” Holding the pencil up. The grey drawing blob is happy again, too. End well, all well!
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Paparoa @paparoa.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Seven years on, it's finally public knowledge that Neo-Nazi Wargus Christi, Dominion Movement and Action Zealandia co-founder Jack Captein/Johann Wolfe is the New Zealand Army soldier that is currently imprisoned for attempting espionage. www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/crime/jac...
Image description: Picture of Neo-Nazi Jack Captein with the following text above the picture:

"Jack Captein named as former New Zealand Army soldier in attempted espionage case

Tracy Neal
Open Justice multimedia journalist, Nelson-Marlborough·NZ Herald·
6 Oct, 2026 03:00 PM
5 mins to read"
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Tom of Thailand hell yeah
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The Luxon "I don't care" line should be framed nearly alongside "You're not debating John Key" because Key delivered "I don't think New Zealanders care..." about big threats to his govt and got away with it. Luxon comes off as personally shitty every time he knows he's done badly.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
*furiously washing hands* SHAFT! *puts on mask*
Watch: WHO say possible case of plague in Russia presents 'very low' risk outside of the country
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Thank you Ms Hayley au.rollingstone.com/music/music-...
au.rollingstone.com
Hayley Williams Responds to DHS' Suggestion to Thank Officers After ICE Comments: 'Nazi Bitches'
Singer Hayley Williams has drawn the ire of President Donald Trump's Department of Homeland Security this week.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Simeon, you eeeeeeeediot
Election 2026: National on track to lose and Christopher Luxon’s debate performance didn’t help
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Looks like the numbers increased too rapidly for the system to hold against the strain. This isn't new for the Sonic fandom, search "sonic inflation" to see more examples.
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CEO Johnny Cans @oldmatecans.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Luxon's lost Coughlan archive.is/C5shg
archive.is
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