iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Newman

Matt and Mattingly's Ice Cream Social @heyscoops.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

@ntnewman.bsky.social gets three pounds of food from a ghost kitchen! From 1341: A Surprise Bag of Garbage. Find us at heyscoops.com and on various podcast apps. #comedy #improv #podcast #hobomaxxing #endstagecapitalism

youtube.com

A Surprise Bag From a Ghost Kitchen

YouTube video by Matt and Mattingly's Ice Cream Social

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

I forgot I had this account. I remembered at 4am.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

I did the firmware update on the office printer- then I stomped around saying “I do everything around here”. I don’t plan on doing anything else today and I’m not 100% sure what firmware is.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

I’ve got some strong opinions about “Spider-Noir” I’m not ready to share yet.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

On Sunday mornings my iPhone makes me feel like a real piece of shit, so it’s pretty much taken over for the church.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

So, a guy throws super gross and criminal parties and the guest list is so full of famous and wealthy people that aliens are real and gas is $4.99 a gallon.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

Don’t ask me to explain, but if today was a Mario Bros. level it just feels like 7-2.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

There are no current plans for an episode.

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Reposted by Newman

That John B @stoicjohn.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

OK @ntnewman.bsky.social are you dropping a #NotFurlong Derby special this year? @heyscoops.bsky.social

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

Dating in high school is so weird. You have these real, intoxicating, powerful feelings and real human connection and then… welp, ^meep ^murp I’m off to La Salle see you in 20 years at a party neither of us want to be at.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

Let’s all go to the lobby and get ourselves some snacks.

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Reposted by Newman

Pork Roll Scoop @porkrollscoop.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Did you already have this picture?

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Every time I hear “strait of hormuz” this is what I picture.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

I Forget to Use This app.

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Reposted by Newman

Frozen Cusser @frozencusser.bsky.social · 04/03/2026

I have a feeling that @ntnewman.bsky.social needs this image for future reactions:

Newman's Own Newman O's Original Chocolate Sandwich Cookies red package with Paul Newman's face in a yellow circle. Text: "100% Profits Help Kids," "Made With Organic Flour & Organic Sugar," "NEWMAN'S OWN," "NEWMAN O's," "original," "NET WT 13 OZ (368g)," "CHOCOLATE SANDWICH COOKIES," "No High Fructose Corn Syrup."

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 26/01/2026

The older I get the more able I am to see the future crystal clear. See my last post.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 25/01/2026

If you ever feel like a worthless bag of shit - just know someone is frantically searching the web right now, trying to dig up dirt to slander the memory of a deceased registered nurse to protect goverment storm troopers they don’t know. So, you’re not that bad after all.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

I can’t remember if it’s dates or figs I like. But it’s definitely one more than the other.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

I’ve decided on a stage name: Nicolas Buran.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 03/12/2025

I just want to have some chili in a Wendy’s solarium then go home and catch the end of the cubs game on WGN.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 16/11/2025

Holistic medicine update: I’m better but I can’t tell if it’s the “medicine” or I got better.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 15/11/2025

I have a sore throat and bought holistic remedies from a health food store. If anybody has a spare rope I’d be happy to piss up it as well.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 14/11/2025

I bought a Tottenham Hotspur fitted hat. It wasn’t cheap. If I found out that the Tottenham football club did some really terrible things that hurt innocent people-I’d toss the hat out and eat the $32. You don’t have to defend repugnant stuff just because you bought their merch.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

Promise me you’ll write my obituary in the dingbat font. Promise me.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

I’ve been in a constant state of self-explanation since 2004. And no I won’t elaborate on this.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 27/09/2025

The guy my college girlfriend left me for just got name-checked in the Easter bunny episode of Rick and Morty. We live in a simulation.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 19/09/2025

You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been in the locker room with the fellas and overheard someone say “I think she’d be way hotter if her eyelashes looked more like actual fucking spiders- that’s what makes a person attractive”

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 12/09/2025

I finally got around to watching Downton Abbey. Is it just me or is Edith the obvious smash?

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 07/09/2025

Baseballs thrown by players into the stands belong exclusively to children. Batted balls? That’s grown man stuff. You’re not catching a souvenir you’re protecting the village. Then you give it to a kid. You also have to make the catch to get the ball. Drop it- it’s a live ball.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 04/09/2025

Is there a “remedial dungeons and dragons”?

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

I applied to Sea-Org but they said I didn’t have the prerequisites or the gpa.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

The movie “Euro Trip” does not hold up. Also, I never got my Biscoffs.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

No substitutes. Wait your turn.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 29/07/2025

My town just opened its first Long John Silvers. There is a line of cars around the block. I say fuck that shit -Captain D’s for life you fair weather sons of bitches. Hush puppies is hush puppies.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

Just so I got it. Copperfield was on a “list” then that “list” just disappeared.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 05/07/2025

I need to use this platform more.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 23/06/2025

Has anybody else spent the day gently stretching their Achilles tendon?

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

My balls are a UNESCO world heritage site.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

All these things you’re saying didn’t stop you in November from hooping around giddy like an idiot when you thought you were getting tax breaks and perks. They weren’t deal breakers for you. So don’t act like they matter now that you’re on the outs.

media.tenor.com

a man in a suit and tie is dancing in front of a flag with stars on it

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is dancing in front of a flag with stars on it

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

This is the first pope in history to have a strong opinion one way or the other about Robin Ventura.

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Reposted by Newman

That John B @stoicjohn.bsky.social · 03/05/2025

A quick Google search confirmed Boy II Men wearing the exclusive Newman Brat line. #NotFurling @ntnewman.bsky.social

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 22/04/2025

I will not seek no will I accept the position of pope.

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Newman @ntnewman.bsky.social · 20/04/2025

I love you. I’m just not “in” love with you.

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