iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

maybe i will beat the insomnia tonight 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

i'm way too fortunate in life i don't deserve anything good that comes to me... imagine if i stopped self sabotaging

040

i say this as if the usa seasons do not also pmo

highkey need another season of love island usa to start airing already bc uk keeps PISSING ME OFF i can't keep watching this shit

150

i feel so isolated from the world

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

me acting like i'm in touch with my feeling but my only 2 emotions are 1. i want to kill myself 2. gambling

190

i slept for 2 hours last night i hope this insomnia shit kills me

but it would just get dirty again once its back inside of me idk. wondering if this is the contamination ocd talking...

jelly ^ - ^ @jellyfuko.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

i feel so deeply dirty inside that i want my soul to be extracted from me and purified

180

Reposted by illi

my life is just a humiliation ritual atp

0133

choosing to ignore the amount of junk i ate today

★ sunny ⸝⸝ @sunnyrotz.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Reposted by illi

Why can't I stop fucking eatingggggg 😡😡😡😡😡

061

i also need tips bc my current method is befriending losers and hoping they fall in love with the first person who gives them attention (me)

020

lowkey need to stop reading psychological horror as if it is romance

i need someone who is avoidant and lowkey hates me and wants me dead but gives me enough attention that i'm in love with them

191

i slept for like 4 hours bc i always wake up in the middle of the night because god hates me idk. but i can't go back to sleep because then i'll wake up at 3pm and i need to be productive today. whatever 😞😞😞

telling myself that eating is spiritually israeli so i stop fucking doing it

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

i actually need to lock in before i fucking kms instead so i'm doing a 48hr fast. if i eat i waterboard myself or something idk

040

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

i'm js fat and greedy asf whatever 🫩 i've gained sm weight

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

playing this on repeat to keep me sane. i recommend it soundcloud.com/abuse-406429...

soundcloud.com

Snake(Acoustic)

i am dog!!!!!!!!!

040

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

i'm home alone and i'm not handling it well so i'm pretending posting this will help. its so quiet and nothing helps i want to die i hate this

250

i need a situationship so i stop terrorizing my friendships

080

i keep this pic pinned to my home screen bc its the only thing keeping me going

0110

can bsky stop logging me out of all 100 of my alt accounts omg

080

life is kinda not epic rn but we ball

Reposted by illi

i want to kms

061

idk how i ever made it through highschool bc i can barely handle leaving the house every other day for class... let alone daily... i was born to be a neet 🫩✌️

i can't sleep so i will read manhwa and forget that i am a person

requiem 🔞🐛 edbsky @cyanidecals.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

Reposted by illi

*closes bluesky* *opens bluesky*

0152

every once in a while i get reminded that i have a really bad personality and nobody actually likes me. at least its good motivation to starve myself and isolate myself from everyone around me. hashtag winning 🫩

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

now that i think about it maybe its the insomnia causing my paranoia... or vice versa idk

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

i've only gotten 4 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours... now its 2am and i can't sleep. i have class in the morning until the afternoon so ig i'm gonna make it to 48 hours?? thriving so much rn 🫩

090

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

it was hell i think i should just kms tbh

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

i feel so unc... literally knocking at deaths door... let me be a dumb 16 y/o again 😞🫩

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

my insomnia has been so bad that i don't even try to sleep anymore. i just ride out the exhaustion until i pass out 😭

illi @nihillist.bsky.social · 18/02/2026

i actually have to go to class tomorrow 🫩 ugh 🫩🫩🫩

i am so paranoid for literally no reason. can my brain just act normal for once 🥲

☆ benji @restlessunknown.bsky.social · 17/02/2026

derek looks cool as flip 😲

110

Reposted by illi

who up mourning what once was and what will never be again

0124

this is how i find out drafts are a thing now omg what... this is epic

010

i'm taking the same prof again this semester and he also looks a little like bernie sanders its kinda crazy

omg hai ^^ i've actually been in sh recovery so i've been staying off of bsky (mostly..)🫩 but i'm doing pretty good recently all things considered. i hope you've been doing well!! :p

120

this is my dramatic way of saying i hate the major i chose and i wish i went into something creative or artistic instead 😞