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Nick Pelling

@nickpelling.bsky.social
1.9K followers 246 following 2.1K posts

Hand-to-hand punster, cipher mysteries expert, former caveman games programmer: now an embedded developer. He/him. Chaotic good.

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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
Every intermediate form between a bikini bottom and a thong is basically a stylised wedgie.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
I just read the Epstein birthday book. It's dismal sexual exploitation, dressed up as NY power porn. Everyone in the book should be in prison, or at least engulfed in an avalanche of very public shame. Publish every name. Publish them now.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
"Your story can't fail the Bechdel Test if it's only got one female character" in front of a so-stupid-it's-smart meme background.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
It's a bit mad that QAnon's mad account of the Epstein files appears more credible than the one now being offered by the President. To be honest, the latter feels more like something a third rate improv troupe might attempt.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Technically, the only animal you can kidnap is a goat.
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Reposted by Nick Pelling
Maddy Myers 🏳️‍🌈 @midimyers.com · 04/09/2025
why does "you've read your last free article" sound so threatening
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Reposted by Nick Pelling
Richard Kadrey @richardkadrey.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
Good morning
Yuri Knorozov, who deciphered the Maya cript in 1952, credited his cat Asya as a co-author—though editors always removed her. He used a photo with Asya as his author portrait and got upset whenever she was cropped out.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
I'm excited about seeing the latest in animatronics at the White House later.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
#WeekendAtDonny's
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
Sade: Huge Alligator Everyone: no, that's not the words Sade: Huge... Alligator Everyone: no, are you feeling ok? Sade: Huge Alligator! Huge Alligator: chomp chomp chomp chomp
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
Soundtrack: #HugeOrangeTraitor He can't even tell the truth about being alive or dead.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
I JUST MET THESE THREE CRAZY GUYS WHO APPEARED IN MY BEDROOM, BUT FRANKLY I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH RIDICULOUS SOCIALIST STORIES SINCE SLEEPY JOE WAS IN 'POWER', I THINK I'LL CARRY ON JUST AS I AM. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER!
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
Everyone knows Jack Daniels Old No. 7 brand. But what came before? Old No. 6: Divorce In A Bottle Old No. 5: Punch Drunk Punch Old No. 4: It's Gonna Work This Time, I Swear Old No. 3: I'll Fight You All... I Love You, Man Old No. 2: Fire Hazard, Do Not Inhale Old No. 1: When Alchemy Goes Bad
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
Should Iron Man's operating system be rewritten in Rust?
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
The arc of history is long, and only has room for animals sitting side by side.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
I had a really nice time at the Archive of Retro Computing at Kingston University, which was like my loft but with helpful labels. And machines that actually turn on. The exhibition is on until this Thursday, catch it if you can! Recommended!
Nick Pelling standing beside a poster for The Archive of Retro Computing in Kingston University's swanky new Town House building. Which is nice.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
China showing off its latest video feedback technology. Scaramouche!
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 25/08/2025
Sam Altman firmly assures me that GPT-8ball will 100% answer all my questions.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 25/08/2025
I think AI looks fantastic. Ok, it's a bit of a shame that everything beneath the lovely shiny surface is a rat's nest of bullshit spaghetti, but it does look nice.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 24/08/2025
That startup guy pitching the AI penis cam must have seen me coming.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
There are so many things about the history of Doctor Who that I would put right if I only had a...
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
Suggestions for new "vibe ___-ing"? I'll start: - vibe inseminating - vibe cottaging - vibe protesting - vibe hostage negotiating - vibe exorcising - vibe trepanning
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
Is it a monolith? futurism.com/the-byte/jam...
futurism.com
James Webb Spots Mysterious Object Orbiting Uranus
NASA's James Webb Space Telescope has spotted a tiny moon orbiting Uranus, expanding the number of the planet's known satellites to 29.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
Cipher history is like "wrong answers only", over and over again.
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Reposted by Nick Pelling
Sonja Drimmer @sonjadrimmer.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
Tech boosters like to use a set of terms to thwart any kind of pushback against their proposals to insert "AI" into any and every organization. Here's a dictionary of their language and what these terms mean. sonja-drimmer.squarespace.com/blog-1/2025/...
sonja-drimmer.squarespace.com
A Dictionary of "AI" — Sonja Drimmer
Even if you spend just a small amount of time listening to people who believe that any kind of digital technology (whether that’s “artificial intelligence” or not) is an unquestioned good, you’ll hear...
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
To learn a new acronym, I have to trade it against losing a little bit of my will to live.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
Personally, I'm all for a Dyson sphere around Sam Altman. Or a sturdy crate, that would be fine too.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
C programmers: have you ever noticed that #define should really have been called #declare, because it's a declaration rather than a definition / instantiation? #wellactuallyithinkyoullfind
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 19/08/2025
Tired: neutron stars Wired: olddune stars
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
Mediterranean dips? Who must they think they are!
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 16/08/2025
#HalfBakedAlaska
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
Malrhyme: when online rhyming dictionaries go bad. The worst malrhyme I can think of is Yosemite / Vegemite. Is there a worse malrhyme?
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
How many software engineers does it take to upgrade an IoT lightbulb? Three - one to write the worm, one to build the botnet, and one to bitch about it on Hacker News.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
*sexy judge voice*: All rise
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
The people most at risk of being replaced by ChatGPT are useless, complacent, shallow, unskilled yes-men who divide their work hours between complimenting their equally useless, complacent, shallow, unskilled boss and covering their scaredycat asses. The GOP, I'm looking at you.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
I tried water polo once, it didn't taste minty at all.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
My first Combat Bogey World Championship was terrible, absolutely everyone picked on me.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
The Polari Prize is pretty bona.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
Who are these pussy commie tarters that Trump's now grabbing?
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Reposted by Nick Pelling
BUCKERS @deathofbuckley.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
If they have to find bands to stand in for Kneecap at festivals where they've been cancelled those bands should be billed as Knee Replacement x
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 10/08/2025
Since the World Farting Championship got unexpectedly cancelled, I've been venting all week.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 09/08/2025
Handy phrase for performance reviews: "as effective as a T-Rex trying to masturbate."
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
Failed ejaculation is a non-issue.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
The treasurer of my S&M startup retired, so we had a whiparound.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
I've been voted off the board of my AI spanking startup, which smacks of a coup.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
Yeah, GPT-37 has just come out and people are already pointing out how rubbish it is, but this Sam Altman brain-in-a-jar insists that GPT-38 will fix all the problems.
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Reposted by Nick Pelling
Chewbacca @istbraunweiss.bsky.social · 17/07/2025
#FCKTRMP
Pic of Epstein and Trump. 

Select all the squares with A Pedophile If there are none, click skip
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
I once met a Mexican palaeontologist called Tijuana Don.
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Reposted by Nick Pelling
Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
Genius.
Pirates never actually
buried their treasure,
but created this rumor
so the authorities would
spend more time digging
and less time hunting
them down.
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Nick Pelling @nickpelling.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
Next on Channel 5, "Pills and Thrills" takes us into the high-pressure world of regional pharmaceutical reps. This week: Colin’s resentment boils over when Mike gets alloys for his Focus plus a branded travel mug.
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