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robert burger

@mistermichael.bsky.social
88 followers 105 following 628 posts

Highly accomplished ne'er-do-well. Flailing dad. Think about what you want for dinner tonight.

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Reposted by robert burger
Chert @chert.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
please help… my son…
photo of a forklift w/ a pallet jack sitting on its forks like it was an adult carrying a child across its arms
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Reposted by robert burger
Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
One of the biggest red flags: adults with strong aversion to anchovies. Grow up
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
If I were in the long mile I would def be killed on account of having to shit
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
And it's been nice not reacting to my phone vibrating every time I get an email
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Been an experience having my phone Bricked for the past few days now. My lizard brain will boop the icon for an app, get told no this is blocked, and then try again multiple times throughout the day That said, I haven't really missed any of *broadly gesturing* this
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
28 years later: the bone zone
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Thinking about getting a tattoo of my age
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
This is like one of those sports graphics NORTHWEST INDIANA STILL WITHOUT POWER
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Got me a Brick™ so hopefully I'll be reading a lot less of your posts
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Racists are way more preoccupied with the idea of being called a racist than what their racism actually entails
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
This is one of the shittiest least intuitive graphs I've ever seen lol
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Reposted by robert burger
HEALTH @health.band · 15/08/2026
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Servant of the Lake is such good stuff. Pump that Rusty Lake shit straight into my veins
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
"A vaccine gavage, if you will", he went on to say
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Thank god this hummus is vegan
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Just learned that if you die a bunch you give NPCs AIDS and then get locked out of questlines smdh
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Getting into sekiro, hoo boy is this dark souls. Died to the first prick mini boss at least 15 times
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Convinced that Will Arnett's magician bit on Sesame Street is him being fully in character as Gob
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Bad news I fell off a mountain and turned into a boat
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Local hospital to offer new financing option for low income patients: a coin flip where if you lose your bill doubles but if you win you pay nothing!
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
To be fair that album slaps
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
White people love to refuse seats and say, "no I'm gonna be sitting all day!"
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Igorrr is some of the coolest most creative metal I've happened upon in a minute
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Read this at first as steady boomer
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
*Ms. Rachel in the throes of passion* 🎵Put it in, put it in, put it...iiiiinn🎵
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Broken clocks yada yada
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Girl boss drone operators
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Kgazch ivai
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
She's stolen jokes before, really lame
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Reposted by robert burger
eli yudin @eliyudin.com · 14/07/2026
ODYSSEUS, BRISTLING WITH RAGE: thou dare attempt to pork my wife? while i’m on my big trip?
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
A mythologized better past is also one of the ways fascism spreads
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
I like to think you make a cyberathlete the same way you make a cyberdemon
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Reposted by robert burger
bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
there is another world where you are a notorious judge on a hit show called "the worlds most delicious dip". you are the one who always says the dip or salsa needs to be spicier and they have shirts with you on it saying that
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Bojack Horseman: What Is This, A Crossover Episode?
ALT: Bojack Horseman: What Is This, A Crossover Episode?
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Now that's brand strategy!
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
In the end it was the pineapple juice that got her
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Phenomenal news. Rest in piss
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
The whale account
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Very funny to imagine Bullseye painstakingly carving his little message into his knife before chucking it to Daredevil "He's gonna love this 🥰"
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Love to do an oopsie whoopsie about a genocide
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Reposted by robert burger
Tim Carvell @timcarvell.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
The Onion Bill DeBlasio headline, changed to "Fetterman: 'Well, Well, Well, Not So Easy To Find An Oaf That Doesn't Suck Shit, Huh?'"
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Shoot is Ken Klip bad now?
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Vraiment Détective
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Does Young Washington occur in the same cinematic universe as Young Sheldon
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Shit that was Tom Kenny? What a fun fact
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I miss the trapt guy discourse
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
First they came for me. It was bizarre but flattering
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
He's right, the second Palmolive bottle is way more fuckable
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robert burger @mistermichael.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Brad Lander's op but his combos are really tough to execute
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