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Mike Muth

@mikemuth.bsky.social
650 followers 828 following 6.7K posts

Retired and enjoying the never-ending Saturday. Looking after 23 (sometimes more) feral/community cats plus my housecats.

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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 4h
After a heavy day's digging at the archeological site in Norway, the researchers uncovered a priceless statue of the ancient Norse thunder god.  It was a wondrous piece of artwork - He had bulging muscles, and imposing stance, and of course his famous giant hammer.
But most important of all, the eyes in his fierce-looking face were made of two giant rubies that glittered with a brilliant red color.
Of course, the two leading archeologists on the dig were both determined that they should be the one to have their name listed against the discovery, and pretty soon the argument was intensifying to the point where the rest of the team, despite being exhausted after the day's work, started to gather round to watch.
The two of them continued squabbling for some time, and they provided the others with a great source of amusement for the evening, and by the time they finally gave up and called a truce, everyone else was feeling quite refreshed by the entertainment.
As the crowd dispersed, one junior digger turned to his friend, and said:
"Well, that was a fight for Thor eyes."
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 4h
Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people. - Tamora Pierce, Melting Stones
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 11h
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 11h
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 11h
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Also, I modified the power options so that "shut down" actually shut down the computer. Yeah, there was no more fast booting, but few people noticed and, hey, waiting is part of the job description for the military.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
You can configure it to actually shut down when you tell it to shut down. I have to redo that every now and then because a MS patch sets the power options back to default.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
My last job before retirement was network manager for the Schweinfurt Military Community's non-tactical networks. People weren't shutting down, so I wrote a small program to shut down every computer except the duty office's computers at midnight. It wasn't to solve PC problems, but it did just that.
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IsThatDonHeath? @donjheath.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Hot dog
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
A married couple was in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because her skin was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.  However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. 
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! 
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." 
"My darling," he replied, "Think nothing of it.  I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. - George Carlin
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Marlena quindi @quindimarlena.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I would like everybody to see this little void please. 🖤👀
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Lawyers have the most despised profession only because the people who make printers keep a low profile.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
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Massimo (mirror) @rainmaker1973-m.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The mascot never imagined that approaching that security guard would make history. Original post
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I enjoyed her as the Vampire "mastermind" and Buffy's nemesis.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
If you are reading this and have my nipples, I am sorry about that. - Kate Lister inews.co.uk/opinion/unst...
inews.co.uk
The unstoppable rise of nipples - and why you are seeing them everywhere
Kate Lister: I tried a pair of stick-on nipples in the wild to see what the fuss is all about
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The worst air disaster ever in College Station, TX occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna crashed into a cemetery early this morning. Texas A&M graduate search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that the number will climb as the digging continues into the night.
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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
they always show their asses eventually because the thing is that you cannot truly, sincerely care about women if you don’t care about trans women. the minute you carve off any one subcategory of women you claim are “lesser” in some way, you’ve declared women’s rights to be conditional by definition
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. - Dorothy Parker
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Kelly @broadwaybabyto.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Disabled people deserve healthcare, housing, food and support. They deserve accommodations. They don’t deserve to be treated as “less than” because they can’t work. No one’s worth should be tied to productivity. Only the top 1% benefits from a system that leaves “non productive” people behind.
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Hypervisible @hypervisible.blacksky.app · 06/10/2026
Launched in May, “the page uses data from customers’ activity to generate details about them in categories like Product Preferences, Interests & Hobbies, and Home & Family, which Amazon then uses to personalize users’ product experiences.”
fastcompany.com
'Has flat buttocks,' 'cusses when scared': Amazon keeps shockingly specific customer profiles. Here's how to find yours
Amazon's new 'About you' page lists many assumptions about shoppers—like their favorite brands, their hobbies, and the shape of their bodies.
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Ellsworth Green @greenellsworth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Johnny 🫧 Cowlick @jefferycowlick.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
This is why the GOP wants to convince you that 'SOCIALISM' is a bad word.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside and they want them.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
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girlhasnoname8.bsky.social @girlhasnoname8.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Karma is a sneaky bitch
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The chef at a local eatery slipped and broke her leg.  Of course, she couldn't have a simple break.  No.  This was a serious break and required extensive work followed by six weeks in a wheelchair.

The chef was alarmed.  "How will I eat?  How can I pay my bills?"

Well, her friends sent her to file for unemployment due to temporary disability.  So, she rolled on down to the unemployment office.  Government being what it is, they handed her a stack of forms and a dull pencil.

Dismayed, yet determined, our intrepid chef began filling out the forms. After much work, she finally came to the final block - the one in which she had to list the reason she was unable to work.  She thought for a moment and
wrote:
"Can't stand to cook."
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The fact that "hemorrhoids" aren't called "asteroids" is a major missed opportunity for science, health, and the English language.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Of course. Otherwise he would have lost pretty decisively.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
If you see this guy there, you may want to reconsider...
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chefmichael @cheftsonton.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
One of these people is telling the truth...
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Twonks @twonks.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Dominate
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
In all fairness, there was election rigging. It's just that it was on his behalf and it wasn't enough to for him to win.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman is that the used car salesman knows when he is lying. - Dave Mabee
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
There was an unfortunate accident here the other day.  Apparently, a local sculptor of some renown wasn't watching where he was going, tripped over a warning sign, and fell face-first into some freshly poured concrete.
I found out about it in the paper, they had a picture of the incident.
Well, it wasn't really a picture per se, it was more of an artist's impression.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. - Groucho Marx
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Katie @rebelrouser1962.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
youtube.com/watch?v=ZmWB...
youtube.com
Lady Gaga - Til It Happens To You (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by LadyGagaVEVO
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
featureassets.gocomics.com/assets/50f6d...
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