iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

but i am also feeling like we are just not as good at doing things as we once were, for whatever reasons, and it scares me. at the same time, it's okay… we don't *have* to do this kind of work.

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but the premise of writing for client work where they are generally defining the initial deliverables to us, and there is a budget, and market cost and contract for this kind of work, and we're given the autonomy to manage the process and resources as we wish, is a very, very different thing

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ppl were flexible, and generally wore and exchanged different hats to adapt for life situations, health, mental health, etc. but generally we were able to keep a pulse on everything, manage expectations, keep things moving along. while managing we were part of the creative process as well

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we've worked on large soundtracks for clients before, had to manage a team of composers, session musics, engineers. at a higher level, even tho the details and collective creative work & involvement for each individual track was very different, generally every track followed a structured pipeline

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i'm realising our project management strategy/style isn't particularly effective for more flexible, less structured (or structured on the go) creative projects…

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glim: "ATB is like DJ'ing"

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anyway, the proper game dev thing to do is to actually sit down and implement stuff and play around and iterate on that, and i haven't even done that much. spend way too much time sitting down and thinking about things lol

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i've been ideating on RPG combat with music theory/composition elements integrated into core mechanics for a while now, since before we got heavily into RPGs.. over time as i play more and more of them i figure out things that i like (not good at writing said things down in any formal way tho)

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i haven't figured out the analogy for figuring out an hours long turn-based boss battle on nightmare difficulty… maybe composing/sequencing in a DAW that constantly crashes if you do things slightly wrong lol, and you need to figure out workarounds…? whatever it is i do seem to enjoy it lol

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we were always better doing improv and with chord+melody lead sheets. depending on the raid group, extremes in ffxiv feel a little more like this

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estelle 🌹 @midifairy.rosemade.art · 07/10/2026

i don't think i could ever do ult raiding. seems too much like classically-trained music, which i am v bad at doing. everything has to be performed in lockstep to sheet music, note for note, little room for error… like playing in an orchestra with a conductor, of which i ofc have no experience with

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i made like zero progress on writing a GBA game (and progress on the music driver has been p dormant too) over the past couple of months. but i'd like to give it another fair shot while we still have the time

estelle 🌹 @midifairy.rosemade.art · 07/10/2026

now, we could just try and compile inkcpp for GBA, but part of me wants to just do my own dialogue/scipt engine with simple DSL -> byte code and just build features as we need them. besides i have a kind of opinionated way i want to implement a kind of multiple quest tracking system

estelle 🌹 @midifairy.rosemade.art · 05/10/2026

am really eager to make some heavy dance music again.. it's been way too long

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Moonlight Breeze @moonbreeze.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

This album is really special, and I can't recommend it enough. Sexuality/asexuality is a beautiful and sensitive topic given joy, thought, and care by all of the musicians involved. Supporting handcrafted, vulnerable art like this is vital. 🎶💜

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estelle 🌹 @midifairy.rosemade.art · 03/10/2026

we went from 200 save slots in CS/Reverie to… 15 in sky remakes.. what happened

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well, it's drifting so. @eveningsundog.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

shelraphen.com/abuser-is-no...

The material consequences of the "rapist" and "abuser" labels are huge too. "I cannot admit I did this, because doing so would cost my my entire social support network." "I cannot admit I did this, because doing so would cost me my sources of income." When we say that acts of violence against people who have caused harm are not only justified, but revolutionary, righteous, good... again, why the hell would anybody be willing to consent to a transformative justice process? Why would they ever recognize that they have caused harm? How could we possibly give the survivors anything resembling what they are owed when our only option is to un-person the one who hurt them? Something which most survivors do not actually want until after a failed attempt at seeking recognition leads to escalation and risk of retaliation.

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Infloresce Records @infloresce.com · 02/10/2026

It’s Bandcamp Friday! That means that 100% of revenue goes straight to our label and our artists 💜 Check out our new album, “Infloresce Vol. 3 - Aphrodisiac”, along with all of our past releases 🌸 infloresce.bandcamp.com

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ig we will have a lot less freedom to move around once we have a job

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unfortunately no more sydney open mics it seems, but i wouldnt mind hopping over to melbourne for one

what should one play at a chiptune open mic? i have uhhhh NSF covers from 15 years ago. idk what is hip and popular today

i know "why". but i only think about it bc the few times we do travel, the contrast here is a relief tbh

don't travel nearly as much as we used to, but at an aus airport u can 1. go to a terminal gate in domestic without a boarding pass to see off someone 2. go through security without taking anything out of your bags, or taking off shoes stuff you use to be able to do at US airports decades ago

hard to balance being obnoxious and annoying and trying to stand up for yourself. i really don't think we can be effective without some kind of manager. something we can't afford in the foreseeable future

but in our most vulnerable state, it's easy to conclude. "ultimately, in the larger picture, it turns out we aren't all that, after all."

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that said i don't think changing artist names in the past helped. and the ppl we're surrounded by now know us for very different styles. we aren't as active these days. i think we could stand to be more proactive in making ourselves known but that also takes some care

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building relationships isn't a guarantee things will work out because of many other factors that aren't necessarily personal to you even when you, and the other party know you are a really good fit for things

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i know its frowned upon to dwell on such things, but i often wonder why it is we've barely gotten invited for things we feel we were suited for, for things that ppl who know us & we thought they knew we were suited for. it's unhealthy(perhaps jealous) to think its due to stuff like loss of relevance

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seems like i missed out on good times

maybe slight headache? not sure if related

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this is not what you will typically think of as "sex music", the shallow kind repeating mainstream ad nauseum. it's about healthy expressions, and about difficult topics. it's the kind of musical expression (and art in general) this world needs more of.

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it's the most diverse infloresce release so far. really showcasing both ends of gentle & hard. and i can't emphasise more how liberating & validating these messages are (again, zine is a must!), no matter how weird/out there the things you're into. idk of any other album out there like this.

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sailor mercury @sailorhg.com · 28/09/2026

it's bandcamp friday! an infloresce release w/a very important message. listen w/the companion zine (included in Bandcamp DL) very diverse expression of sexuality/asexuality/things in between & listening to this has been eye opening in the expression of sexuality, & things as a whole, thru art

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@jzplusplus.com and i are hosting a kickoff for this year’s weird web october! (weirdweboctober.website) bubblesort studios 78 gough st, sf sun, october 4, 2026, 1-5pm

a vector drawing of internet browsers at a slant

the browser in the foreground has the text:

weird web october kickoff

bubblesort studios
78 gough st, sf
sun, october 4, 2026, 1-5pm

2000s style link banners say “web showcase from past years”
“make your own weird websites”
and “work on this years prompts”

there’s a halftone image of clouds in the background, a mouse with a cursor trail

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ohhh this seems interesting and cool! how does one participate remotely?

at least we don't hold shame for writing things for ourselves, and ourselves alone. taken a while to rly get to that point tho

this may be why we've struggled to write music for the recent sex album. it was going to incorporate plurality but i think our experience is so very different from what i observe of other systems online. & with plural-made media not in the common eye i worry ppl interpreting it as The Experience

then in terms of smut writing, our writing is incredibly hyperspecific to us. turning it into something cohesive & enjoyable for others, it's an interesting endeavour, but it requires all the education mentioned before. that i least i could get some help with from some friends we have trust w

yes the universal advice is "just do it, make something bad." but i just feel like it's going to be BAD bad, to the point where it's utterly nonsensical to the vast majority of people

i do think this is also why it feels difficult to try & write fiction for the purpose of others engaging with it, & why i feel pressured to educate myself so i can approach such things w/comprehensive study of theory and the academics around it. i haven't rly come up with a roadmap for tackling that

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i won't deny it's a bummer tho, and it's tiring. but! i have gotten to the point where i really don't need to to talk anyone about it. (which makes this all even more pointless to say i guess)

i talk about this whole thing very often and i'm sure it gets annoying to hear about. but at the very least i'm increasingly coming to an understanding on the discrepancy and figuring out and accepting why i am the way i am

i am not talking about extremely problematic media that is overwhelmingly unanimously agreed to be so, where the author is very much so. i've spent much of my life refusing to talk about media, and i will continue to do that. i've become more at peace with my own private self reflection

given my really chaotic cultural upbringing i can see how that happened. but if i bring that up ppl get all passively racist so shrug. it's not like i don't take into account ppl's criticism of media. other perspectives are important. but ppl seem to outright judge you for not outright rejecting

but my takeaway isn't defeatism and despair. i'm also engaging with media that does the opposite. idk if its a puritanism lens ppl put on media, or maybe i truly just have media illiteracy.

i've come to some level of peace to just continue to enjoy things i find enjoyable. in terms of stories with problematic themes or progression yeah i find it shit and upsetting, but there is some reality to it, one worth being aware of and reminded of. i don't necessarily endorse the direction

either that or it is incredibly niche and i have no other friends who are into it. ought to just delete my consumption/reading history and keep my reviews for myself…would rather talk about them internally than not reflect on it at all. tho even my headmates often have no interest in the things i do

everytime i look up some piece of media i've been into lately the internet commentary seems to imply i enjoy things with apparently bad writing, shit character development, and are boring, things that are imperfect. sometimes i don't even pay for this stuff.