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Metro Chimp

@metrochimp.bsky.social
2.4K followers 3.6K following 16K posts

There set out, slowly, for a Different World, At four, on winter mornings, different legs… You can’t break eggs without making an omelette —That’s what they tell the eggs.

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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 7h
Russia kill 20 Ukranians last night and Lil Donnie Limpdick calls Putin to wish him a happy birthday ...
newrepublic.com
Trump Wakes Up From Oval Office Nap to Discuss Putin’s Birthday
The 80-year-old president fell asleep during his own White House event.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 9h
I think it’s time for another investigation into Hunter Biden's laptop ...
abcnews.com
Trump sons' investments have won billions in Pentagon contracts since his election
The contract for a new plant in Baltimore is the latest linked to the brothers.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 9h
As a Nietzschian Ubermensch, I associate with and venerate others like me. (You can recognize us by our weedy gait, pasty skin and wheezing)
motherjones.com
Elon's fans erect 50-foot statue outside his company town
A studio promising "art so epic it will raise the birthrate" gifted a huge bronze Prometheus to Musk's Starbase.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 13h
"What can a man do without his pants for 20 minutes?"
nytimes.com
Eva Marie Saint, Oscar Winner for ‘On the Waterfront,’ Is Dead at 102
A luminous beauty with dramatic depth, she brought a layered intensity to harrowing roles and seduced Cary Grant in the romantic thriller “North by Northwest.”
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 13h
I asked Pete Hegseth about this and he called me a pussy and told me to push through it.
warontherocks.com
The New Signature Wounds: How Drone Warfare Is Reshaping the Injuries Veterans Bring Home
Traumatic brain injury became the signature wound of the post-9/11 wars because the battlefield changed. Improvised explosive devices changed the nature
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
I first read the lede as "Mainers want affordable childcare" as "Mainers want an"affordable candidate" ...
mainebeacon.com
New polling: Jackson leads Collins, Mainers want affordable childcare - Maine Beacon
Democrat Troy Jackson holds a narrow lead over Republican U.S. Sen. Susan Collins in a new poll of likely Maine voters that also found broad support for government action to make childcare more afford...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
Li' Donnie Limpdick™ is the giant honking albatross that needs to be hung around the neck of every GOP candidate. Dem candidates should accuse their opponent of agreeing with him on every specific insanity. As LBJ said, "let's make the sunofabitch deny it" and risk the wrath of their insane Leader.
axios.com
Scoop: Senate GOP to send $5m to shore up Graham in South Carolina
The GOP's concern about a Senate seat in blood-red South Carolina shows the challenge facing Republicans.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
One super simple heuristic I've learned to employ is that anybody who believes that space aliens have visited Earth can be safely ignored in regard to both this and all other matters of opinion.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
One super simple heuristic I've learned to employ is that anybody who believes that space aliens have visited Earth can be safely ignored in regard to both this and all other matters of opinion.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
Limp Dick Donnie™ offered help. So Russia returned the compliment by offering to help with our measles epidemic.
rferl.org
Siberian Anti-Plague Institute Staff Isolated After Worker's Death
The United States is monitoring reports of a suspected case of pneumonic plague in Russia after the death of a 28-year-old laboratory worker in the Siberian region of Irkutsk, as some US political fig...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
How am I supposed to blindly panic based on information like this?!?!
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
How am I supposed to blindly panic based on information like this?!?!
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
"I HAVE BEEN SILENCED," yell the people who hold most of the political power in the US and enjoy extraordinary constitutional protections for the views they choose to hold ... because the hardest part of defending liberty is preventing other people from getting any!
abcnews.com
Alito calls same-sex marriage a 'decisive' turn 'against religious liberty' in new book
A new book by Justice Samuel Alito presents his view of the Constitution, the Supreme Court, and the country with a focus on religious freedom.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
One of the reasons I could confidently say way back in 2025 that Lil' Donnie Dipshit’s immigration policy would be hugely unpopular is that there's no way to create a police state for non-citizens without harming citizens. There's no version of mass deportation that leaves civil liberties intact.
projects.propublica.org
More Than 500 U.S. Citizens Have Been Detained, Including Handcuffed or Held at Gunpoint, in Trump’s Immigration Crackdown — ProPublica
The government doesn’t track how often immigration officers detain U.S. citizens. So ProPublica did. We’ve found more than 500 Americans who were held against their will during this Trump administrati...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 15h
I'd be perfectly fine with banning Crypto and all the betting apps: Kalshi, Draft Kings, etc ... They serve no purpose. It kills me that, along with AI, they appear to be the only things during Limp Dick Donnie's term that are making or drawing in massive amounts of money.
nytimes.com
How Everything Became Gambling (Gift Article)
It’s not just DraftKings and Polymarket — the logic of gambling undergirds everything coming out of Silicon Valley.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
"I still have the Hal Jordan Super Powers action figure I got when I was 5, complete with plastic lantern." Or maybe ^^^THIS^^^ is the problem.
slate.com
The Season Finale of HBO’s Superhero Hit Pissed Off a Lot of Fans. I’m Baffled by the Backlash.
How could some viewers watch an entire season of Lanterns and assume they were getting a happy ending?
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
“The media freakout over President Trump’s comments is not rooted in reality. He was clearly stating U.S. cities would have been threatened if a nuclear Iran hadn't been stopped." Fat Bald Fuck ... Wrong. (Cheung, I mean)
rawstory.com
Mass 'freakout' sends White House scrambling to sanitize Trump’s disturbing remark
President Donald Trump sent shockwaves across the globe Monday night after suggesting Iran could “take out” two major U.S. cities, and on Tuesday, the White House scrambled to offer a sanitized interp...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Happy Taco Tuesday!
youtube.com
FUNNIEST EVER: Hegseth Gets MOCKED in EPIC Viral Video
YouTube video by The Dangerous Ones
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I made my peace voting for fascism, but not this kind of whiny, incompetent fascism. I refuse to be associated with mandatory testosterone tests and losing wars!!!
apnews.com
Republican Sen. Tillis calls his vote for Hegseth the 'biggest regret of my career' in a new book
Republican Sen. Thom Tillis says in a new book that his deciding vote to confirm Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth in January 2025 is the “biggest regret of my career.”
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Fun Facts: San Diego has a population 1/3 less than Nebraska and the same GDP. And LA has twice Nebraska's population and four times its GDP. Now you can see why Republicans hate Blue areas so much: They're overflowing with Moochers! (The cities, I mean!)
ktla.com
Trump on war in Iran: ‘Let ’em take out Los Angeles, let ’em take out San Diego’
U.S. President Donald Trump seemingly discussed the idea of foreign powers taking out California’s most populated cities while delivering a speech at a Republican rally at the Pinnacle Bank Expo in…
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Just sayin'...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Gee, how many more Republicans would we find out are pederasts if the Epstein files were released?!?!
nbcnews.com
Disgraced former House Speaker Dennis Hastert dies at 84
The Illinois Republican, the longest-serving GOP speaker in U.S. history, was sentenced to 15 months in prison after leaving Congress for scheming to cover up child molestation accusations.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
For many folks "corruption" means "the riffraff getting things they don't deserve". Student loan forgiveness? Corruption. Paying workers a living wage? Corruption. Tax breaks for wealthy corporations? Not corruption they're job creators. Trump demanding bribes? Not corruption he's a businessman!
paulkrugman.substack.com
The Trump Administration is a Cesspit of Corruption
And fighting it should be at the heart of the Democratic agenda
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This is more or less the stupidest thing I’ve heard in my life, which seems to happen every day. Have you ever flown and gone through the TSA checkpoint and think WHY IS THAT TSA AGENT SITTING, WHAT ABOUT NATIONAL SECURITAH! I mean come the fuck on, what are we even doing here?!?!
washingtonpost.com
TSA officers must now stand up on the job
The agency is removing chairs from document-checking stations.
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Bluesky Fanatic @blueskyfanatic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Limp Dick Donnie imagines himself and Nixon being done wrong when, in fact they were both mostly let off the hook. What Limp Dick Donnie can't possibly envision is how very much Nixon would have loathed every fiber of Trump's being.
yahoo.com
Decades later, Trump’s DOJ to review whether Nixon was mistreated during Watergate scandal
The DOJ is taking a fresh look at whether Nixon was some kind of victim — developments that would’ve seemed unthinkable a half-century ago.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"I had no choice. I’d do it again today. I’d do the same thing. I have no choice." There are a lot of things I hate about Lul' Donnie Dipshit ... obviously. But his absolute refusal to ever accept responsibility for anything is the thing I find most contemptuous.
time.com
Read TIME’s ‘What Trump Has Built’ Interview Transcript
The U.S. President discussed the war in Iran, press freedom, AI, and more ahead of the midterm elections.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
How does it make sense that people don't trust the gov't to give kids lunches or old people medicine but they trust it with the power of life and death over their fellows. If you're skeptical of the gov't you would want to really keep an eye on it killing people ... but what do I know?!?!
lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com
Abolish The Death Penalty. And Reform The Prisons. - Lawyers, Guns & Money
I don’t say much about prison reform, but it’s something that has bothered me for a long time. The reason I don’t say much about it is that it seems so hopeless. That wasn’t always true. Back in the 1...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The American electorate: a riddle inside a mystery inside an enigma or something ...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The American electorate: a riddle inside a mystery inside an enigma or something ...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
These polls are also kind of interesting in that there's a huge number of undecideds. Being tied in the low to mid 40s? You just have to think that in a Democratic wave year, those people are breaking for the Dems. And if that doesnt happen, we're screwed regardless of the particulars of Minnesota.
mediaite.com
Republican Senate Candidate In Deep Blue State In Striking Distance of Major Upset, Recent Polls Show
Three recent polls have shown ex-ESPN reporter Michele Tafoya is in a virtual toss up with Democrat Peggy Flanagan to become Minnesota's new senator
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
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Ricky Davila @therickydavila.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is what the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool looks like today after a $17M deliberate fuck up and the orange felon won’t stop until he destroys everything. Makes me sick to my stomach every day.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I don’t want to tell the pope how to do his job but maybe he gets off his ass and excommunicates these sociopathic, erstwhile Catholic, fucks.
tennessean.com
Court stays Christa Pike execution in Tennessee: Updates
Christa Pike was sentenced to death for the 1995 killing of 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer. A court stayed her lethal injection that was scheduled for Sept. 30.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'd bet that you could almost quantify how many thousands of tourists you lose for every story about an EU or Canadian citizen who gets detained for a few months over some trivial infraction or no infraction at all.
semafor.com
Decline in tourism hits US economy
Overseas visitors to the US are on track to drop by almost two million year-on-year.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If the White Sox win the World Series this year, does the Pope invite them to the Vatican?!?!
mlb.com
Holy Sox! Pope Leo XIV sends message ahead of Wild Card opener
HOUSTON -- Pope Leo XIV was not in Houston for the opening game of the American League Wild Card Series between the White Sox and Astros.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I just go to Scotusblog for their games, like Courtle.
slate.com
It Was the Essential Home of Supreme Court News. Now It’s a Joke. What Happened?
How high-stakes poker brought down a pillar of Supreme Court coverage.
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mr-yoyito.bsky.social @mr-yoyito.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Excellent political cartoon. It’s too bad Ed Sheeran won’t get it.
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Theo Moudakis @theomoudakis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Please enjoy my cartoon in today's Toronto Star
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Happy Hump Day!
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
2/2: of course the tech barons signed a document they clearly hadn't carefully read. Given the clickthrough agreements on their websites, to do any differently would have been hypocritical.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
1/2: Since they apparently can't reliably tell the difference between a 'd' and a 's', are we sure it's not now renamed Duper Intelligence? Also ...
huffpost.com
Trump Botches The Name Of His Own Country In Truly Embarrassing Flub
President of the... what?!?
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"I really don't care, do you?"
thedailybeast.com
Melania Ditches ‘Be Best’ for Bizarre New Brand
Melania’s top adviser has described the new project as “Davos for Women.”
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Sometimes I wonder if we lucked out with Limp Dick Donnie literally being enthralled by shiny baubles rather than having a deep understanding of the domestic and international financial systems
nytimes.com
Trump Brought Venezuelan Gold to the U.S., but Refiners Won’t Touch It (Gift Article)
The administration is brokering deals in a notoriously corrupt industry, including one with a company that the United States deems a security threat.
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia — the oldest natural history museum in the U.S. — has closed its doors after nearly 200 years 6abc.com/post/philade...
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
HAPPY MONDAY!
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Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Susan Collins has been lying to us for almost 30 years.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
He was just saying the guy should serve all 60 days concurrently.
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Metro Chimp @metrochimp.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
He was just saying the guy should serve all 60 days ... concurrently.
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