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MVH

@mattvanh.bsky.social
312 followers 314 following 1.1K posts

Going places, live music, films, Spurs induced suffering, cats, football shirts, pints, NIN, deep introspective techno, poppadoms. Southerner in Manchester

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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 23h
Certainly a career, but only 13 appearances for Tottenham? I swear Poch used to bring him on every game when we were struggling against a low block. I’d honestly have had him at about 30/40 appearances 😂
The storied career of Tottenham starlet, Josh Onomah
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Just thinking the same. This terrific City team is the end result of industrial level cheating, why is allowed to continue? Also SICK of hearing about the “poor” City fans!
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
A decent striker and we’d be laughing here coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
👍 COYS
Screen grab from a spurs age on Meta’s ‘Facebook’. There are picture of a man playing in a charity match wearing a shirt that reads “THERE IS A TRAITOR AMONG US”, referring to Sol Campbell, a massive cunt who used to play for Spurs. It could also be an homage to Claudia Winkleman. The text reads:

Spurs fan and vlogger Dan Muino was playing in a charity match against Sol campbell.
Dan scored against Judas team, celebrated in front of him with a shirt calling him a traitor and refused to shake the mugs hand
Well done and great work Dan
#COYS #THFC #SpursUpdates #Tottenham #Spurs
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
“Read them and understand them!”
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I want to see Harry Kane at the fucking Hague
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Right, I want either Acaster or Grant Mitchell to win #TheTraitors coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Admission to the box is £5
Omar the car in a box in the garden with his paw held up like he’s taking admission fees
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
A still from the satirical show Brasseye “Paedogeddon” episode. The caption has the words “this is the one thing we didn’t want to happen”
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Not quite meowing but I will respond with a “pardon?” “What was that?” Or an “mmm?”
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Probably the most disappointing signing in the last 20 for me as a spurs fan coys
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Jordan aka Jirdan @slclunk.com · 20/09/2026
Jake Paul getting punched: US Military Invincibility 

Anthony Joshua: The Straight of Hormuz
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Just went to see the new Resident Evil film and YES, more of this terrific horror and actually funny comedy, please thank you coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
At least Rochdale are beating Oldham coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Dismal coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tottenham Hotspur Football Club
static.klipy.com
Ralph Wiggum Says No
ALT: Ralph Wiggum Says No
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Wishing the Villa keeper a very happy Fuck Off coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Thanking Wednesday night MVH for not staying up late to watch First Blood and recording it so I can watch it now coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
BREAKING: Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran
The music act Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution from Arrested Development
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Mrs. Detective PikaBOO, Esq. @clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social · 12/09/2026
I’m gonna guess he (75) somehow sent her the file path instead of the actual PDF and she (88) tweeted it
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
There’s a very predictable payoff coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Walking home from college down Chelmsford High St, saw people stood outside Dixons watching the TV and I thought “there’s no football on now, what’s going on?”. I didn’t find out until I got home and was greeted by my mum: “have you seen the news? It’s like Die Hard”
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Really enjoying Widows Bay and then Hamish Linklater rocks up. Tremendous stuff
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Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Got ID’d and refused sale of this in Maldon WH Smith when it was released coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Lovers Boyfriend
Alt: Bug bunny doing “come to me” eyes
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Well this fucking sucks and I don’t like it
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Just incredibly funny that this is a reply to a QT re Bluesky dog piling and it’s a modestly unhinged tweet and judging by the amount of QTs reacting to this…lol. Lmao
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I missed Spurs again yesterday but on a positive note, I put a small towel in my mouth thinking it was a sweet at this fancy restaurant so there’s that coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I fucking love having Omar here coys
Omar the cat sat on his fathers lap, feet up on the sofa listening to the same Reuben song on repeated for about 3 days
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Might be my quickest internet impulse purchase ever
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
No cheating. Share the last photo of the sky from your camera roll The view behind me at The Cure last night
Big old sky with a setting sun over thousands of people looking ahead towards a stage where The Cure are performing
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Can’t just be me that blocks or mutes absolutely anyone who appears to be an outgoing Arse fan? coys
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Greg Jenner (Historian) @gregjenner.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Racism is rewarded on X www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...
bbc.co.uk
World Cup 2026: Racism suffered by England players on X amplified by algorithms - new report
Racist abuse aimed at England footballers on social media was amplified during the World Cup by algorithms designed to maximise engagement and profit, according to new research.
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Might be the biggest rattling of all time. It’s a shame the petition doesn’t set out what it intends to change though so regrettably I am unable to sign coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
I’ll take this. Could’ve been the Amazon Arena or Tesla Towers. Also shows the benefit of having a stadium that does so much more than host a struggling team…also means that even if we do get relegated we won’t have a downgrade in kit manufacturer to fucking Errea or Sondico
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I like this positivity coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
This lad doesn’t need any fancy eclipse glasses
Omar the cat looking out the window in the direction of the soon to be eclipsed sun
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I am sad he has left but if he wants to leave do we have any other choice? Also if we denied him being able to leave and he doesn’t get game time, could see it being a disaster for our dressing room. So long, good luck coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Incredibly sad that it took some “backlash” For this vermin to back off and fuck off. Continue fucking off you fucking fuck coys
B BC
Breaking News
Ex-neo Nazi withdraws as local Tory candidate after backlash as Badenoch gives him adviser
role
now
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Fucking HELL she was here? This is the issue with Bluesky I guess. If I still used Twitter, I’d have known about this and popped out to chuck a glass filled with piss at her coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Not sure how I feel about our manager actually saying the word ‘Bomba’, possibly unironically. Still, looking forward to club singing Mbappe holding up the shirt coys
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Parody Nigel Farage @parodypm.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
It is two years today since this dimwit gave us the most hilarious demonstration of karma in history.
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
The latest Four Tet record is amazing, but sadly no fucker will be able to find it coys
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
If only Nolan was this faithful to Homer
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
So scary it is funny that the US has a fella that looks and sounds like this in charge of their health. Would you buy a hotdog from this man? A used car? Bootleg gig tshirts?
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
God I really had high hopes for this fella when he came to Spurs
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
What a bald little peanut faced cunt (derogatory)
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
OH MY FUCKING GOD BBC JUST STFU AND LET US HEAR THE CROWD SING WONDERWALL
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MVH @mattvanh.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Can someone do the meme of the guy 3rd on the podium necking the champagne? Thanks coys
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