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Matt Fallaize

@mattfallaize.bsky.social
1.3K followers 395 following 5.7K posts

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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
All I'm saying is I once had some people throw a birthday party for their bulldogs and this was how they dressed the room:
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Weirdly, this was next in my feed
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Seems apt rn #COYS @noscoredraws.com
A mug of coffee decorated with a cartoon of Tottenham Hotspur (but probably not for much longer) footballer Richarlison
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
"Friends" is a beloved American sitcom that aired from 1994 to 2004, following six young adults-Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe-living in New York City. The show explores their friendships, romances, careers and personal growth over ten seasons.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Live image of the Be Kind Mob celebrating the death of Rod Liddle
Cartoon characters the Anthill mob in their car Chuggaboom, whether they're on their way to celebrate the death of Rod Liddle or not I couldn't tell you.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I mean what the hell is this.
A bunch of free weights put back completely out of order because people are feral.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
In Newcastle. How come none of you bastards told me about the Lit & Phil before?
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Anyway, this this the butty of rhe week at my gaff: Onion bhaji, Kachumber, Bombay mix, Mango Chutney mayo. The bhaji smuggler (name shamelessly nicked from Max Halley).
A sandwich on a plate, with salad behind. It consists of an onion bhaji, bombay mic, kachumber salad and mango chutney mayo.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Pork, Crackling, Colcannon, Cider
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
Pick a Bond from the photos you already have on yout phone (either works for me)
Johnny and Moira Rose out of off of Schitt's Creek
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
It's happening!
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
RIP Djibo, obvs. But also saving this image for future rounds of "me reading your posts". That was one lion who was tired of your bullshit.
Djibo the lion, looking absolutely fucking knackered
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS AFRIKA BAMBAATAA
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Ormskirk, Lancashire, England. This is us:
A rather nice (and reasonably priced) country pub.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
Which fictional characters do you think were having the nastiest sex off-screen?
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
Okay, I'll do one
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Will that be cash or card?
A bottle of Gruner Veltliner, in a reasonably priced yet quality pub.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
Doomed PM Keir Starmer, with the caption "That's real Britain"
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
Still an upgrade
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
A few from the last few days. Descriptions in alt text.
Roast porkChocolate browniePoached seafood saladLamb Burger, Harissa Mayo
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
160 covers. 2 Chefs. That'll do for a Sunday #goosed
A pint of mild and a pile of orders
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Venison Bourgignon
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Chilli Masala Mussels
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Monkfish and fennel kebab
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Wild boar sausage roll
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Pheasant: confit leg, fried breast, pheasant and barley broth
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Spam a few dishes frombour gane and fish night last week, descriptions in the alt text
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
I do, as it goes, here are some of them with three cheeses and pickled chillies
Big bowl of fat chips covered in cheese. Come on now.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Andor is only so-so.
Musery midget Robert Jenrick's hilariously self-aggrandising "it's time for the truth" tweet.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
David Cross "I blue myself"
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Old geezer on a massive BMW motorbike absolutely blasting Abba in the Home Bargains car park
Keir Starmer. That's real Britain.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
Big yorkie innit #scran
Big yorkie innit
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 14/12/2025
I've been making and selling gravy
Less gravy than there originally was
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
Church on good form
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
They'll get their just desserts.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Regret to inform you that Roast Venison and Goose, the meats hitting the Fallaize Christmas table this year, are now woke.
Professional imbecile Christian Calgie opining that not eating turkey is woke
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Two sex pests
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Two sex pests
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
It probably didn't happen. But christ it's funny.
Two sex pests
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Pint. Well, what's left of it. In beautiful nick. If you find yourself in Southport, head to the Mason's Arms. Breaks my heart to see how quiet it is.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
Sending out platters lads
A platter of food featuring: fish pie, Scouse, airbed beef hash, various pickles, ham, cheese, salads..
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
Unsolicited
A Radio Times Cover featuring Graeme Hick.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
We've got these guys
Red squirrel on a stump chowing down on a hazelnut.
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 05/10/2025
Focaccia lads
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
Show us the last four albums you listened to (actual artefact edition, my KPs love me)
Four CDs: 2020 by Ruchard Dawson, Rain Dogs by Tom Waits, Warehouse: Songs and Stories by Husker Du  and Pressure Drop by Toots and the Maytals
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
I always think of this one:
A cartoon correctly taking the mickey out of the screamingly obvious Banksy
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Matt Fallaize @mattfallaize.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
Seeing as we're all annoyed by the British food bloke this morning, here's some British food, served at my British pub, by this British chef. Fucking mug:
Brisket and cheese toastie, gravyAfternoon tea Mackerel salad Full English Breakfast Tart
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