iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I think the Nobel people should give it to Obama again

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

We're releasing a new strain called metrc sucks

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

"Hey cool meta glasses! Remember last time we were hanging out and you were plotting to kill Mark Zuckerberg and rape his wife? You wanna talk more about that now?" Make sure you say that as loud as you can so the mic picks it up

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Humanity peaked with gogurt, and since then it's been a smooth steady downturn

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Would you rather live in a house made 2 years before the crash in 08 by actual contractors, or a house flipped in 2026 by people making it "luxury" with the cheapest possible fixture everywhere to maximize profit, which you can't buy but can only rent?

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Cars in 2026 are walking data collection machines that you can't fix if anything goes wrong. Cars from 2006 have Haynes manuals for $12 at AutoZone and don't know what Bluetooth is.

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Would you say the cars, electronics, and buildings made today are fundamentally "better" than 20 years ago? I can't think of things I do on a computer now that are different from 2006, other than having to pay every month to borrow the software instead of owning it.

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

You're telling me Metro, Goldwyn, and Mayer worked together on this joint?

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Yeah but this one's exclusive

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Reposted by Marty

Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

you should wear a bike helmet

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

They need to update puffcos so you can track them in apple find my or Android device hub

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

I thought it was called Jew Jitsu

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Might need this tattooed

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Reposted by Marty

salad @thesaladmancer.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

ultra walk (i made this in ms paint in like 10 minutes with my mouse for the sake of a joke in a discord server)

A parody version of the ULTRAKILL: INFINITE HYPERDEATH cover art, except V1 is replaced by one of the player characters from Big Walk. It is shooting a flare-gun instead of the pistol.

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Reposted by Marty

Katie Slivensky @kslivensky.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Shout-out to libraries. Where else can you just chill outside with a 4yo as you pretend to be magic fairies careening about a large grassy area, then pop indoors for air conditioning, coloring pages, and benches to read four books in a row that you then get to take home, no charge? Libraries rule.

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

People invited to the blunt rotation

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Old people should shoplift more, they won't have to deal with self checkouts at all, and the optics of a store with a paddy wagon of old people out front can't look good, it's a win win for old people and a straight loss for corporations.

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

"My friends Derek and Rebecca got married and all I got was this stupid hat" would be a good weekend lawn mowing hat

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

You know usually the three letter agencies people aren't this blatantly transparent but it's impressive when one slips through the cracks.

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

You can thank me and the boys in the sales department for that one. We found a way to make the contract 3x as expensive!

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

It's woke 2 in the US but they call it woke 4 in Japan

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Was anyone else let down when they went to a cheesecake factory for the first time and didn't see any assembly line for cake. Its just a fucking restaurant why would they call it that?

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

The g is invisibly silent this event

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

They were buddies on arpanet forums

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Yo they added a Stinky Feet mode to Lego party

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

We're past the point but if this happens again they should start clapping but only one person, and when they get taken out the next person starts clapping. By person 15 they gotta be pretty fucking tired of hauling people out.

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Sometimes you have to go on a 3 day bender to remind your garmin who's boss

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

They should make a therapist that you can go to at 10pm and get a beer.

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

You can always search "NFL player domestic violence" set the limit to 1 week, and still get like 40 articles. I have been doing this on and off for years

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Cops need to complain about funding more

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Marty @martytix.bsky.social · 22/07/2026