iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Yesterday my daughter accidentally rang me, instead of her husband. When I answered, she was surprised and said, "Oh, sorry. I've rung the wrong person". I would just like it to be known that I have never considered myself to be "the wrong person". Thank you for your attention to this matter.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

The night after bin night, they should have a second chance bin night, for all the people (me) who forgot bin night again.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 18/11/2025

Fun fact: In the card game, Top Trumps: Evil People Edition, a serial killer always... ... ... ... ... trumps a paedophile.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 14/11/2025

I never say "RAT test", and I never say "PIN number", and I never say "ATMOS system". Anyway, I'm looking for an automatic teller machine atm.

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Reposted by Granda Marty

captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 27/09/2023

okay okay OKAY here are all 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Slip out the back, Jack 2. Make a new plan, Stan 3. Hop on the bus, Gus 4. Drop off the key, Lee 5. Shit in the bed, Fred

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 14/10/2025

Today I saw a car number plate that said CRYB4BY and I don't know if it says Crybaby, or Cry Before Bye, or Cry Before Buy, or Cry Before Baby, or who knows what else. I NEED ANSWERS.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 31/08/2025

You just know they are not going to tell us for at least a few days. They will spew some crap about how he planned it to happen at such a time and in such a way that it would bring about world peace, so all the wars are over now and we have to give him the Nobel peace prize and a standing ovation.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 23/07/2025

By far, the handsomest man in Major League Baseball is Bryan Woo. I said what I said. #mlb #mariners #bryanwoo

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Reposted by Granda Marty

Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

Happy as a clam? A clam? You mean those tiny things with no brain that just chill on the bottom of the ocean all day in their own little private shells and have absolutely no concept of what’s going on in the nevermind I get it now

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 04/07/2025

It's not shame, they can't risk looking at each other. In the sight of any living creature they turn to stone. It's a fact of their biology. Don't you people watch Doctor Who? #WeepingAngels

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

President Donald Tr... I can't even finish it.

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Reposted by Granda Marty

Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

All of those armored men are wildly overcompensating for the fact that if they walked into a wall with a hard-on, their noses would touch first

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 26/05/2025

Someone should make an enthralling sci-fi TV show and/or movie spin-off, with intriguing characters and/or a brilliant ensemble cast, and with intricate plot lines and/or excellent writing, and with stunning visual FX and/or action sequences. You know what I'm trying to say and/or imply. #andor

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Reposted by Granda Marty

Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

It's good to know that Aussies can still tell their Albo from their arse. #ausvotes2025 #binnight

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

It's good to know that Aussies can still tell their Albo from their arse. #ausvotes2025 #binnight

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 02/05/2025

The average American has three friends, but that's 21 in dog friends. #threefriends

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 24/04/2025

Over fifty years after Watergate, we are still adding the suffix "-gate" to almost any word to denote a scandal. If there is ever another scandal at the Watergate Hotel we are going to call it Watergategate.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 15/04/2025

Remember when today had a hyphen?

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

This morning I saw a small leaf stuck to my car and I thought, "That leaf looks like poo. I'll just flick it off." Dear reader, it was poo.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 06/03/2025

I have always been opposed to the death penalty, but today my work colleague was humming, but not humming a tune...

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 26/02/2025

I just got stuck on Duolingo thinking, "What's the Spanish word for peso?".

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

"When small men begin to cast big shadows it means that the sun is about to set." - Chinese philosopher Lin Yutang. #inauguration

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

I rarely write Yelp reviews, but I had to write this one* about the sandwich I just had for lunch: "Dreadful. The bread was stale, the cheese was hard, the ham was tasteless, and the mayo was spread ludicrously thin. 2 stars." I really need to get better at making my lunch. *Not a Yelp review.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

Funny thing is, I already have unlimited bacon. By which I mean, I have access to all the bacon I could ever want. There is always bacon in my fridge, and if it starts to get low, I buy more, so I never run out. If I ever need more bacon than usual, I just go to the shop and get more bacon.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

My son: "Which would you rather have; unlimited bacon..." Me: "Yes." Son: "What?" Me: "I choose unlimited bacon." Son: "No, wait." Me: "Doesn't matter what the other thing is. I choose bacon. Game over." Son: "But..." Your false dichotomy conundrums don't work on me. I play by my own rules.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

As a woodworker, I know that when you start to finish, you're at the beginning of the end.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

These two videos on my YouTube feed could swap titles.

A YouTube thumbnail showing a man getting his chest hair waxed with the title "Do Something Out Of Character With This £20", followed by another YouTube thumbnail showing a large old, wooden box with the title "Old Chest Rescue".

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

You can't have everything. But sometimes, when the stars align, and providence smiles upon you, you can have ice-cream. And that is all that matters.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

My brother and I are a year apart in age, and very much alike. So whenever I see him I get to think, "Oh, so that's how grey my hair is now".

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

Don't you get it? Don't you see the RAV4? I'M. MRS. SOCCER MOM!

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

I made a wedding present for my nephew and his bride.

Two wooden boards with geometric shapes drawn on them, and a larger wooden board with a large circle cut out of it.

A large round wooden bowl containing six geometric shaped, smaller wooden bowls.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays." - me on a Sunday.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Ummm. Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi. Sorry. Ummmmmm. I was told there would be a hand basket?

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

For years I thought that movie was called "Dave the Jackal". I mean, I would watch a movie called "Dave the Jackal", but then again, I never did.

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

Waiter! A wheel of edam and a side order of gouda. Hurry!

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Granda Marty @martybanana.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

Stop putting raw onion in potato salad. You're ruining it. Bacon bits - yes. Raw onion- hell no.

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