iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 01/10/2026

Dear flack who cold-emailed me: You don't get to pre-emptively declare your communication off the record. Off the record is a negotiation. You're lucky what you disclosed isn't particularly interesting or anything I would write about.

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Sukie 💙🇺🇸🇺🇦🌊 @froggybottompond.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

''I'd like to go ahead and solve it. The Atlanta Hawks.''

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 30/09/2026

"The purpose of these schemes was found to have been to artificially inflate the club's revenues, and reduce its costs, by more than £900 million during the affected period, to appear to comply with financial rules." This is what they mean by "financial doping."

premierleague.com

Premier League Statement: Manchester City FC

An independent Commission has found Manchester City FC guilty of all charges related to serious breaches of the Premier League’s financial rules over a nine-season period, and the majority of charges in relation to its failure to co-operate with the League’s investigation.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 30/09/2026

Nobody tell Sen. Schmitt about Rice, Temple and FAU.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 29/09/2026

Man, I love me some ingredients

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 29/09/2026

Giving STRONG "Dr. Who" Adipose vibes

The Adipose characters, small, cute blobs of sentient fat, from s04-e04 of the revived "Dr. Who." Their resemblance to Meta's Muse AI agent is undeniable.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 28/09/2026

Pat Smear lighting up a butt on the VMAs stage is very ... Nirvana

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John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 26/09/2026

Whatever you do, don't smoke an entire brisket at a job interview, it's a lot of equipment to bring in, it takes a really long time to do it right and those conference rooms have notoriously poor ventilation

Someone smoking a brisket and poking it with a meat thermometer to see what the internal temperature is

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 27/09/2026

We all get, right, that the football play is the "hook and lateral," not the "hook and ladder"?

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 22/09/2026

The one unalterable truth of life is that the baggage claim carousel they announce at Sea-Tac is never the one your flight's bags will be at. The first question you always ask upon landing isn't where are the restrooms, etc., but where have they shunted our luggage.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 27/09/2026

They cut the Dalek budget too much at the BBC

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 27/09/2026

I was working at the Observer at the time. I cannot overstress how big a deal those uniforms were. Are they blue? Are they green? And pinstripes! I still have a framed photo of Robert Reid driving to the basket during their debut game somewhere around here.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 24/09/2026

Hard to explain how much tension you've been building up when you await biopsy results. You don't even realize it yourself until the report comes back benign across the board and you almost pass out with relief.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 22/09/2026

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 19/09/2026

There was a honeymoon period?

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 19/09/2026

Chelsea collapsed like an Eggbeaters souffle

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 19/09/2026

Spurs-Villa is the textbook confrontation of the movable force and the resistable object

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 18/09/2026

The one unifying characteristic of legacy bands from my 20s is they can still squeeze into their black leather trousers but they can no longer cope with the leather boots. So you get four wizened faces on top of sequins on top of shiny sausage-casing trousers on top of ... Hoka walking shoes.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 17/09/2026

Mick is the big, burly one. He could give them problems on set pieces.

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I mean if you really want to hear Ed Sheeran without any opening acts you can simply get put on hold with your bank

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Ned Raggett @nedraggett.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Okay so @defector.com has had an odd glitch since the site redesign a couple of weeks back where the wrong photo and headline are often put together on the main page and I was going to ask them about fixing it but this just happened and as far as I'm concerned they have to leave it as is.

Screenshot for a Defector podcast episode with the headline "Consider the Emotional Lives of Scallops" only the accompanying photo is a white gormless stubbled red-headed UK singer of recent notoriety giving a flat smile to the camera while wearing a washed out peach top as beige as he is against a flat background. So, actually, probably a scallop anyway.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 17/09/2026

If I were the emperor of journalism, I would ban the word "slated" in every news article.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 16/09/2026

Early evening TV is like Snow White and the Seven Drugs: Bimzelx, Xeljans, Domperidon, Philith, Flurbiprofen, Sronyx and Bloxiverz (All of these are real.)

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 14/09/2026

Hey language folks: I'm old and don't remember it happening. When did "arrive at" start turning into "arrive to," and does anyone have a theory why?

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 11/09/2026

We've lived in California or Washington, where fuel prices are always much higher than the average, for the last 26 years, so when stories report a "new all-time high" average price per gallon of gas or diesel, our reaction is "Damn, I wish they were that low here."

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Thomas “Scary” Fuchs 🎃👻💀 @thomasfuchs.at · 10/09/2026

(via icy.wyvern.rip/notes/aqyu97...)

Photo of Apple's keynote where they show the iPhone Duo held in one hand in its folded and its unfolded form. The right hand would never be able to hold it as shown, so below is an edit of what the hand would have to look like.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 10/09/2026

If you're a big news organization and you cite only "a local news outlet" for information rather than credit it by name and link to it, you're doing it wrong. Plus you're a big, honking jerk.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 10/09/2026

It is so strange to see Max Allegri on the Napoli sideline.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 10/09/2026

Copy editors are [sic] people.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 08/09/2026

I'm kinda thankful for the FSU power outage. No instant replay, no referees yakking at us, plays called the old-fashioned way. Just 22 guys playing football.

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Rasta @rastasack.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Food Critics

Three Peppers cut open on a plate, each with two eyes and a face made from the sliced inside

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 07/09/2026

"Hoarfrost" is such a rude word. Call it "frost worker" to be sensitive.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 07/09/2026

There are 18 schools in the Big 10. There are 16 schools in the Big 12. There are eight schools in the Pac-12. And you wonder why Americans suck at math.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 06/09/2026

Someone should make preserves out of cheeses. Babybelatin, anyone? Mozzajelly? Havartalade?

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 06/09/2026

Aaaaand there's the assertion that God, the Eternal King, Everlasting Father, Father of Light, Judge of All the Earth, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Maker of Heaven and Earth, Ruler of All Things, had nothing better to do today than to make sure a random college won a football game.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 06/09/2026

By the way, the Avery, Jones & Maltese Attorneys website for "Coyote Vs. Acme" is terrific. GET $10 OFF YOUR FIRST CATAPULT LAWSUIT with discount code SPINALINJURY10. We also do divorces! averyjonesmaltese.com

averyjonesmaltese.com

Avery Jones & Maltese Attorneys

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ToonHive @toonhive.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

‘COYOTE VS. ACME’ has now officially surpassed the $30M amount Warner Bros. originally planned to write the film off for. The film is now projected to earn over $60M domestically.

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Erin Green 🖖 @erin-o-green.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Pumpkin Spice has broken containment.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 10/07/2025

The late genius Richard Thompson predicted Bluesky 15 years ago.

A panel from a 2010 "Cul-de-Sac" comic by Richard Thompson depicting a young girl in art class saying, "My name is Loris Slothrop and I like little cute animal cartoons with big eyes who're also magic robot vampire ninjas, but sensitive."

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 28/11/2025

Saturday in America means it's time to remind football announcers everywhere that "intended target" is a tautology.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 02/12/2025

Ah, another tech blog about how to get better battery life on your phone that boils down to "don't use any features on your phone."

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 07/01/2026

Why yes, that is a bobblehead of me.

A bobblehead doll of me in front of a 2000-era MSNBC remote background

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 26/03/2026

To bold go where no dust bunny has gone before.

A dust bunny on the floor shaped remarkably like the USS Enterprise

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 02/06/2026

I declinate

An ad for smart glasses with the feature headline "Conversate"

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 05/09/2026

"The Betis ⁠players are more streetwise than the Madrid players, who are very honest. With the backing of a fantastic crowd, they manage to gain these kinds of advantages." Oh, come on, Jose. Really?

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 03/09/2026

The bridges linking Seattle to its Eastside suburbs over Lake Washington literally float on the water, making for a *very* interesting ride in certain weather. One is the longest floating bridge in the world. I left S.C. before the Ravenel Bridge opened, and I vividly remember the Cooper bridges.

The 520 floating bridges connecting Seattle to its Eastside suburbs.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 02/09/2026

Chick-King at 0:47. Whoever put this together knows what they're doing.

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Alex Johnson @malexjohnson.com · 31/08/2026

Write like people talk. People are usually "people," not "individuals." They "get" things; they usually don't "receive" them. They "try" to do stuff; they usually don't "attempt" to do it. They "get hurt" or "are injured"; they usually don't "sustain injuries."

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