Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Hmm. How many hours do I need between shifts to host a room party? What are the odds of my schedule surviving into day two of the con? Do I even really know what I've signed up to do? Can I finish a bodysuit in five days and debut it there? 👀 000
Reposted by LurchHanmonster @hanmonster.bsky.social · 24/09/2026And for the second portrait in a row, a bird person! This time a cool as hell penguin lady for ChinaskI having a chill moment in the evening— about 5h in total! 336284
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Hmmm. The older label, of a type I've never seen before, says the package left here on the 11th through a department who don't ship. The newer label says the courier will deliver it here on the 8th/9th. A different courier brought it in today. I file it under 'they don't pay me enough.' 100
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Been working on bird stompers. Readying to crew two cons next month. Failed to get a job at the big one. Now I can smell my septum for the first time. Spent today kissing a handsome man while my dick was in him. A mixed bag. 🐕 000
Reposted by Lurch✨️Bleucan✨️➡️ MFF DD @bleucan.fish · 17/09/2026Are you chill like this? ❄️ 141221270
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 17/09/2026"Surely you want people to drive without wrecks" I quite correctly tell the magistrate. 🙄 010
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Ok but secretly maybe licking somebody's cum up off of the floor is kinda hot and kindof a thing and I would kinda love that and we should do it. We should fucking do it. Ok. Maybe we do it. 😳 020
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 11/09/2026DragN'Wash is a good game. I'm so into sensually soaping someone down and making them cum everywhere. Wish I had more opportunities to serve more friends in this particular way. Invite me to wash you. I am so down. 👀 010
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 10/09/2026I survived. I did a thing. I tried. I don't think I'm blacklisted. This was a good day, I think. 😵💫 010
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Got a thing tomorrow. I am filled with inexplicable dread. ✔️Slip needles through my soft bits. ❌'Invite' me to interview. There is absolutely nothing at stake. Or maybe there's a neat hoodie or a shirt or something. I will spend the next day vibrating with horror. 💀 000
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Exciting day. I've stretched my septum enough to start using jewellery that I've previously worn in my cock. 😳 020
Reposted by LurchSharkChocolate @shark-chocolate.bsky.social · 08/09/2026unshowered and unserviced? a tongue bath from you would help fix both of those~ 2855
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Oh no, the other kind of pup hood discourse. I mostly say hood because it is a kinkier word and the term of art we use so everybody knows that we know and we're cool. But, I've been around long enough now that everybody important knows that I know, so I can call it what I like. Whippet wimple. 110
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I don't think I've ever had a threesome. Every time I escort two partners to the sex chamber we somehow pick up another party member along the way. 🤔 000
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I haven't followed any CFZ drama, I never do, BUT This year I made it to one panel. I tried a couple of other times and stuff was full. Some people only hang with me at cons, it's reciprocal guilt there. I continue to beg for a crew role and hear nothing. Such $. Maybe I'll go. Sad to miss? IDK. 000
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 04/09/2026TF stuff. It's no good if there's just a puff of magic and you're suddenly another thing. Lazy. You have to earn it. It has to be visceral. Things have to extend past their limits, pop, and tear. Something has to split. A gush of fluids. A howl of pain. Breaking what was to make something new. 👀 020
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Parcel Farce charged a huge fee on a parcel 3 weeks ago. That's it. End of story. No customer service, just link back to the FAQ forever. I know enough about this exploitative scam bullshit industry to know I'm never getting my shit. If some cunt didn't steal it then they binned it 2 weeks ago. 100
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Willing to share the controversial secrets of the furby fandom, with which I am intimately familiar, across all media worldwide and in perpetuity in exchange for something we furies call 'money'. Hit me up weird gross fake journalists. 😜 100
Reposted by LurchChief Sheath 💄 @pierced.wang · 29/08/2026Things to do on very delayed train journeys: Go to the bathroom to show off for strangers on the internet (and then get hard off your own stink) #nsfwirl 4401
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Never been paid for hole or anything but I think it could be kinda hot, especially if there's never any price set. Pay what you think it was worth kinda deal. You're reaching for fucking coins right now? The tinkle of change into a bowl? OK. I see how it is. UGH, HOT. 😳 150
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Tops, bottoms, feh, whatever. I'm an anxious but subversively intelligent Big Henchman looking for a small, self assured schemer and/or an aloof megalomaniacal villain with a hearty chuckle for heists, bondage scenes, and long term criminal partnership. 🐧 020
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Ugly guffawed at work, can't look at the straight people for a month. 🐶 010
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Got nipples pierced. I'm very brave and should get pizza and rum and sex. 🐶 110
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 20/08/2026Put your arsehole in my knapsack because I'm gonna eat it to sustain my life force. 010
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 18/08/2026New forklifts arrived last week. Been sitting in the shed for various nonsense reasons. Company insists on wheel guards, not allowed to drive without, wants to save money by reusing the old ones, old ones don't fit new machine, can't drive either. Cut them in half, lose half an inch, fine. 100
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 01/08/2026The little ball on this ring spins and rattles so as you can imagine I am playing with my dick all day now. No time for distractions. 🐕 150
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 31/07/20261986 is, uh, quite a year. Gonna have to go with cringey small ball stud muffin force quit internet 💀 100
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Find out the company recently had an 'inclusion day' where the cishets all got cake and merch. I was not included. 😁 120
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 22/07/2026Thought for sure there was an account I could tag but uh, blocked. VeryMadComplexDOTCom👀 Uncle Damo touched my pants package and now my legs are gay as hell. 🎉 If only they would bring back piss camo pants and put some more fuckin' birds on some merch. 🐦 010
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Got called a good mutt a lot today. It makes me whimper more and fuck harder. Please don't use this information against me. 010
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 03/07/2026New BigLurch sighting photo, allegedly. Look how short that shadow is. Obviously fake. How come people only ever have their oldest and weirdest cameras at the nude beach when these supposed sightings occur? 🤔 071
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 27/06/2026The piss chat is like a bus. You get nothing all day and then three turn up at once. 😳 000
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Was a dog and a bird of the sands. Drank a lot of accidental sea water, got nude. Good day out. 🐶 030
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 20/06/2026Been putting murrsuit porn on the computers in the gay sauna for a while now. Some of the ordinary gays stop to watch. In a couple of years they'll all be blue haired genderqueers barking at eachother and doing piss stuff. I am leaving a legacy. 330
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 20/06/2026If two bisexuals, one guy and one girl, are in a 'straight passing' relationship do they collectively constitute a mere one sexual or do they infact represent a whopping four sexuals? How can anyone sleep until we have answered this basic and terrifying question? 110
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Just got run over for the first time only to find out that the only way to report a hit and run is if you are the driver and you turn yourself in to the police station, a situation I consider to be unlikely. Can't be arsed crossing the county or waiting hours on the phone to try, either. 💀 000
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Oops, nearly forgot international take dick pics at work day again. 😳 070
Lurch @lurchpenguin.bsky.social · 13/06/2026I love being a little faggot beast, a queer creature frolicking through a glade of freaks. 🐕 000
