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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 2h

OK need to up my sarcasm game

Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 2h

To compensate for the drizzle when I get up early for a dash to Sainsbury's I get a rainbow. Today is a bad day for cishets say the omens

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 2h

Me, everyday except the poorly and stupid.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 21h

TIL that an electric eel up the bum is a cure for a prolapsed anus.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 23h

At my local independent café where they decided this piece of lemon drizzle wasn't two pieces 😋

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 23h

You know I think that's how I'll judge Burnham, on access to NHS dentists. People shouldn't be paying for dental care at all, much less privately.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Gluten free scones exist, if you have coeliac disease and don't make sure your scones are gluten free your toilet deserves the punishment. Being able to spell coeliac also helps

National Trust "Nobody has ever regretted a scone after a long walk"

Some Numpty "Except someone with coeliac disease"

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Stoicism is attending a stoicism talk when only restricted view seats remain www.ilkleyliteraturefestival.org.uk/events/5-joh...

ilkleyliteraturefestival.org.uk

5. John Sellars: Stoicism is Not What You Think - Ilkley Literature Festival

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Thank god Michaelmas is over for another year.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Had the plumber out because the toilet cistern inlet valve wasn't stopping. He basically said it hadn't been fitted properly and I had to remind him that he fitted it back in March 🤬

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Bugger, after a massive kitchen search my best scissors are still missing in action.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Local Co-op is selling chunky funky kit-kats for 60p each 😋

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Reposted by Lisa's Muffins

gav @gavinmit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

'i once got the president of the united states to congratulate us on the arrest of some doggers we found in a lane in gloucestershire'

bob mortimer reading a prompt card on would i lie to you?

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Three years after buying my kindle (paperwhite signature) I find out it supports wireless charging. Fuck fuck fucketty fuck...

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Recipes should include the tidying washing up time. #bakesky

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Telegraph readers having coronaries over the release on bail of the British diesel thieves they thought were Iranian terrorists. Laughing at these idiots is worth every penny of my Telegraph subscription

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Three white vans full of barrels in the countryside and diesel at £1.99 a litre Mate you've caught some diesel thieves not bloody terrorists you silly sods.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Heck sausage rashers, tasty but difficult to keep in my toasted muffin.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I see Healey has totally failed to understand his job which is to tax the fucking rich not screw the poor.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Remarkably high quotient of angry people shouting into phones Vs normal people today.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Having my breakfast bacon sarnie on sourdough toast and frankly it would be more edible on a toasted ryvita. Why do people torture themselves with sourdough?

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If you think you are a trade unionist and you're not a socialist the I've got news for you. You're not a trade unionist.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

There's nothing makes you appreciate how good Seabrook's crisps are than eating a packet of Walkers first

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Oooo yummy Aldi freeze-dried pineapple 😋

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Somehow I think this book was written before the exception proved the rule.

...JFK was a good sort as far as leaders go. All the Kennedys were while they lasted...

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

There's a local firm of solicitors here called Bailoran. This amuses me.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I honestly can't (under)stand people who can't do cursive

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Making fig and orange scones with overripe figs, fortunately the allotments have on site toilet facilities.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

This week I have made 4 2.2kg round fruit cakes 4 1.1kg round fruit cakes 4 1.1kg fruit loaves Available at the allotment café tomorrow

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Just pushed the hot oven rack in with the hand without an oven glove 🤕🤬

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Burnham gets it wrong again, this money should be spent on building new social housing. So much social housing should be commissioned that no capacity is available to build private housing. Also CGT on all private housing sales. www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/f7f4e76...

telegraph.co.uk

Burnham set to launch new Help to Buy scheme

Prime Minister’s move to inject growth into economy welcomed by housebuilders

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

What happened to the nice orange wrapper on Old Jamaica chocolate? It's now bland Bournville shite.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Drivers who park on pavements should be [insert retribution of choice]

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

@sainsburys.bsky.social you arseholes, if I use smartshop and it comes up with the "you thief we want to check your bag" thing then it better be quick. If, as today, you take over 2 minutes to arrive I'll just empty the bag on the till and fuck off. Won't shop there again.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Asda is selling Lu Le Petit Chocolat and Chocolat at £1 per pack. This is not good news for my internal diet/bargain tussle 😋

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

No Iced coffee for me, but taking Andouillette to the interview

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Welcome to the Weaver network where a frequent core service is one that runs once a day and not on Sunday

Key to timetable saying services in green are frequent core services

Timetable showing a frequent core service that runs once a day (not Sundays)

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Bacon at Greggs so crunchy I suspect they are getting backhanders from the dental community.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Really we ought to bring back beheading for minor breaches of etiquette* *That is what I dislike.

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Lisa's Muffins @lisasmuffins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Really we ought to bring back beheading for minor breaches of etiquette* *That is what I dislike.

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