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Lady Amphitrite

@ladyamphitrite.bsky.social
136 followers 88 following 769 posts

I’m fueled by coffee, wine, beer, sarcasm, swear words, and maybe 4-6 hours of sleep.

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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
People are really out here crying because they were breaking the law. People in the comments want to use this as a reason to vote red… because they couldn’t be bothered to do the right thing. Fucking hell.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
So, Mitch McConnell is having a medical emergency not compatible with life tomorrow, am I to assume that is correct? 🧐
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Oh look, Calum is one of the guys who make women choose the bear. Way to wear blinders Calum. 🙄
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
The percentage of men that have an absolute shit take on women’s mental health postpartum is fucking staggering. You want to see why women choose the goddamn bear? Click on any post about Lindsay Clancy and you’ll understand. Even worse? Many of those men have wives or children in their PFP!! 😩
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Still flipping off the anti-abortion protester on Bel Air. Today my window was down and I absolutely shouted “fuck you” at him. He should be glad my kid wasn’t in the car with me because she’d have been half out the window giving him a piece of her mind, nevermind the fact that I was doing 35+. 🫣
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Did I flip off an anti-abortion protestor on Bel Air Road today in front of Mercy Physicians? Why yes, yes I did. I’m tempted to make a sign that says “Bro doesn’t even have a uterus!” and stand next to the guy. 😤 #Baltimore
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
The absolutely mind numbingly stupid shit I’ve read regarding the #HawkFire “It was only homes with smart meters that burned.” “… but look at how green those trees are!” *screen shot of AI overview asking “Which US states do cloud seeding?”* Y’all… these people vote and reproduce. 😭
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Oh, imma leave your whole name up there for viewing, because you randomly showed up in my FB feed. This stupid ass shit is how first responders die. When you are told to leave because of a wildfire… you fucking leave! The fire and wind don’t give a shit if you’re ready or not. #HawkFire
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
This absolute sack of shit parent is why teachers are quitting. Buy the goddamn school supplies if you have the means to do so and don’t be a twat about it. Educators get paid crap. I’ll be at school soon watching over my kids giving snacks, out of my own meager check, to ones I know struggle.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Describe your musical taste in three artists, no genres: Bishop Briggs Yiruma Korn
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Will someone please explain to my fully grown, mid-40’s, ass why shit we literally throw away (trash bags, toilet paper, paper towels) are so goddamn expensive? I’m over here doing math to determine price per sheet of asswipe. 🫩 I hate math. 😩
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Yesterday I learned how the One Big Beautiful Bill absolutely FUCKED student loans. You know, as I sat and stared at my $2800 semester bill for community college… realizing the MAXIMUM I can take out for the entire YEAR in an unsubsidized loan is $3000. Nevermind next semester. 😭
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
I cleaned the dishes as he broke them around my feet. Trying to keep tears at bay. Staying because society had taught me that staying together for my child was important. 21 years after I left, that man is in prison for strangling his third wife after she took him back following a DV incident. 😞
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𝕯𝖆𝖓🍂🎃🕸️ @arepublic86.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Well, where is he? If he's dead, we should know this.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Huh. That shirt, shown in a Getty photo taken by Al Drago on May 8th 2023, looks awfully familiar… and look he’s wearing jeans too! 🧐 And just for a little extra razzle dazzle, does anyone want to compare the bruising on his left hand? 🤔
gettyimages.com
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, a Republican from Kentucky,...
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, a Republican from Kentucky, during an interview at the US Capitol in Washington, DC, US, on Monday, May 8, 2023. McConnell warned he won't come to...
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
The news Lindsay #Graham really throws a wrench in Senate returning tomorrow & the repubs are down to *checks notes* 51 warm bodies. I think @andybeshearky.bsky.social needs to make a deadline for the #McConnell staffers to give him access to the Senator. Tuesday is a month & KY deserves answers!
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Chef Rocky @chefrocky413.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Three things: Where’s Mitch McConnell? Release the unredacted Epstein files. Fuck ICE.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
For the 4th of July I preemptively went to a local Indian market and got rasmalai. The best parts of this country are the other cultures I get to enjoy because of the people who have come here. I get to have arepas and tortas and tandoori, and I want the immigrant owned places to feel supported! 🫶
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Oh, you sweet summer child. You can’t spell *and* you are parroting ignorant talking points that are false. Bless your heart. 😅
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Almost $1k to take ONE class at the community college because I’m not in county, and we make too much to qualify for even a single penny of Pell Grant. Pardon me while I go lay in a corner and cry realizing I’m stuck in a job where I have no room for growth and I only get paid 10 months a year. 😭
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
How about, no? Fuck that guy, fuck his special little account, and fuck his greed with a rusty sideways MTA bus that hasn’t been cleaned all week.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
I saw someone at the store yesterday buying a big container of MiraLax and 2 containers of Gatorade. Having done that a few times myself, I knew exactly why they were buying that combination. 🫣 #colonoscopyprep
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
I felt compelled to watch Hidden Figures given the events of today. “Here at NASA, we all pee the same color.” #Artemis
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
How nerdy is my household you ask? We’re watching the Artemis ii launch. 🤓
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Effin' Birds @effinbirds.com · 31/03/2026
Your pal Effin’ Birds is facing off against a century-old publishing icon and a whole ass television network in this year's Webby Awards. You can make this more like the time I defeated Jimmy Fallon and less like the time I lost to Ted Lasso by voting here: eatf.art/vote
A painting of a bird beside the text "I need your mother fucking votes. Head to effinbirds.com. Click on the link to vote. Vote for me."
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
Scrolling through FaceBook I see this post about a guy holding a sign saying that Mount Saint Mary’s University is not protecting sexual assault victims.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Oh, it’s time for this absolute banger of a meme to get dusted off again. 🫩
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Solid tips here. I like the last one the best. 😏
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
Daylight savings can get fucked with a rusty sideways bus. In other news, I slept through my husband’s alarm and him getting up, which I never do. I didn’t wake up until he opened the bathroom door with the light on. 🫩
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
My hotel this morning was playing Fox News. I leaned over to my 18 year old and whispered one of her favorite phrases to her, “I’d rather gargle shards of glass than listen to this.” 🫩
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Nothing like waking up early on a Saturday morning to find out that tangerine dipshit has once again embroiled us in some absolute fuckery. 😒
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
Educators are at the point in the school year where their lunches are questionable, caffeine is probably their blood type now, and the morning music on the way to school is filled with expletives. We are not okay. This school year has aged me exponentially. Let me know when it’s June. 🫩
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Rachel Bitecofer @rachelbitecofer.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
BREAKING Former ICE agent: On my first day training new cadets, I received secretive orders to teach them to violate the Constitution by entering homes without a judicial warrant.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
“I bet you wish you’d taken the stairs right about now.” - Dr. Mark Sloan (Eric Dane) Best one liner ever. 😂 ALS is a bitch. 😭
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
This type of bullshit opinion right here from some knuckle dragging dick bag is why women are having to fucking fight more than 100 years after the suffrage movement. Also, your ability to have money doesn’t have a goddamned thing to do with your legal right to vote. Fuck outta here with that. 😤
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
Had Mexican food for dinner at a local restaurant as an early Valentine’s dinner. I wondered to myself how many ignorant fucks in there supported ICE but were more than happy to be served by people they’d cheer on being tossed in a concentration camp. Anyhow, my food and service was amazing. 🤤
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
A sticker I can get behind outside of Baltimore Tea & Coffee Co. 😏
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
The roasting in its entirety. A masterclass to behold. *chefs kiss* to @crockett.house.gov for being savage, intelligent, and fucking force to be reckoned with. 😍
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
When we said take them a down, we meant TAKE THEM ✨ALL✨ DOWN!! #PamBondi
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
*whispers* Timed edit on posts for those of us with furious butterfingers but also anxiety about not looking like absolute morons. 🫩
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
I need some good juju this way. If y’all can spare some sage and good vibes I’d be much obliged. 🫶
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Can I put Shinedown back on my Tidal playlist? 🤔
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Not Catherine O’Hara. Damn. 😭
media.tenor.com
a woman in a black and white polka dot shirt says someone slap me .
ALT: a woman in a black and white polka dot shirt says someone slap me .
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MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 30/01/2026
Independent journalist Georgia Fort was also arrested by federal agents earlier for reporting on the church protest in Minneapolis. She was live streaming when agents arrived to take her into custody.
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Adam Klasfeld @klasfeldreports.com · 25/01/2026
A doctor who witnessed the shooting submits a sworn declaration in federal litigation to halt ICE surge in MN: "I did not see him attack the agents or brandish a weapon of any kind." and "The victim had at least three bullet wounds in his back." Read storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
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Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
The people who spent years defending and even lionizing Kyle Rittenhouse and Ashli Babbitt now want us to believe that an unarmed mother in her car and a disarmed nurse were domestic terrorists who deserved to be murdered by law enforcement.
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Because fuck CBS. 💁‍♀️
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
I just spent 20 minutes laughing until I cried… at reels about farts. I also might have sent at least one of them to my fully grown child. Pinnacle of maturity. 🥲
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Lady Amphitrite @ladyamphitrite.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
So when we gunna see them Epstein Files???? 👀
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