KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 09/02/2026Well. You can tell who never paid attention in geography class. And civics. And grammar. And social studies. 011
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 19/09/2025I must be doing something wrong because my shampoo and body wash do not make me nearly as happy in the shower as these models in the commercials seem to be. 031
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 19/09/2025I am convinced there’s a mass conspiracy amongst local stores to always put the things my short 5’2” self needs on the highest shelves. I’m gonna start carrying a step stool. 131
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 18/09/2025Every time I make muffins or cookies or pie, I like to tell myself I’m the goddess of baked goods as I take them out of the oven. 🎶 Sometimes, I even sing it. 🎶 I may need a T-shirt. 010
Reposted by KrisWJonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 18/09/2025Nobody talks about his hard it is to be both a people pleaser and a committed curmudgeon 1219118
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 18/09/2025I’ll just be here dunking my chocolate Oreo in my whiskey in a teacup. Carry on 053
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 18/09/2025I sometimes think my toxic trait - and what drove me to be a reporter - is wanting to understand why. The motivations and the reasoning. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized sometimes there isn’t a “why” that I can really understand. 040
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 26/05/2025When are certain people going to learn that “negging” doesn’t work? 010
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 23/05/2025‘Tis the season for ordering things and hoping they don’t melt on my front porch before I can get home ☀️🥵 000
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 31/03/2025Every now and then, I have an intense craving for Waffle House. I’m not sure if this is a southern thing (thang) or not, y’all. 021
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 28/03/2025I couldn’t take the news anymore, so I threw myself into dress shopping and entered a whole new realm of anxiety and too many choices… So…yay, me?! 130
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 26/03/2025Just saw the headline “Mysterious pyramid, ancient bronze coins discovered by archaeologists” Y’all need to leave that stuff alone. We are in enough trouble already. Don’t risk awakening an ancient curse 130
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 21/03/2025I not only have too much bounce in my walk to carry a tall stack of plates, I’m beginning to be concerned about too-full mugs of coffee too 040
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 10/03/2025As I was walking out of the bookstore, this man decided to stop his car and let me cross in front of him and I did the “cheers!” gesture to him with my coffee cup What? It’s friendly! 🤷🏻♀️ It’s a good vanilla latte with an extra shot of espresso! That’s primo, baby. 010
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 09/03/2025Oh look, a book where a bubbly city girl moves to a small town and a grumpy but gorgeous local guy comes out of his shell and falls for her. What an unlikely pairing! Will it work? I’ve read 100 of these, but it’s about to be 101. I’m disconnecting from reality. Leave me alone. 041
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 06/03/2025It’s time to watch 30 Rock and eat tacos and not think about all this *gestures around vaguely* for a bit. 020
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 04/03/2025I make the best coffee in the office, so y’all can just put up with me dancing and singing Shake It Off (sorta quietly) as I make it. 120
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 03/03/2025Some people never had their mawmaw say “God don’t like ugly, baby girl” to them as she raised an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips (aka the you’re about to get in trouble with a capital T position) And it shows 010
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 03/03/2025Driving to work, I happened to get stuck in traffic by a minivan from New Jersey blasting the pina colada song at top volume. This gentleman has obviously been sent here to destroy me. 110
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 25/02/2025If loving you is wrong, then I don’t want to be right — Me to a plate of chili cheese fries 031
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 24/02/2025Is it wrong that I’d love it if they played a little number from West Side Story during this game? No, neither team is my team, but I’d totally watch. 🤷🏻♀️🏒🥅⛸️ 021
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 24/02/2025I make the shopping list, I need to stick to it, I don’t need…oh look! Cadbury Creme Eggs! 032
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 24/02/2025When I leave my house in the morning I always say, “Y’all be good babies,” to my cats, knowing damn well they will do whatever they want to do and I should just be grateful they don’t knock everything on the floor in protest of me not being there to be ignored by them 050
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 21/02/2025🎶She loves to laugh She loves to sing She does everything She loves to move She loves to groove She loves the lovin' things🎶 I’m pretty convinced that Journey wrote this about me. Spot on. 020
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 20/02/2025I believe this is called b-fucking-r-r-r-r weather. It’s an official term. I looked it up. 021
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 19/02/2025Y’all, I just got teased because the south holds food-specific festivals. Baby, if y’all don’t have any peanuts or peaches or pickles or bacon or barbecue worth celebrating, that’s not my fault. 052
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 19/02/2025Since this accurately describes my morning, I fully expect the Cat in the Hat to show up soon. It shall be anarchy. 022
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 18/02/2025At this point in the current news cycle, I don’t even care which wine goes best with what. All wine goes with (gestures around) whatever TF is happening 040
Reposted by KrisWDead Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 18/02/2025I’ve been torn asunder by better. 06132
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 18/02/2025I got an email about Duolingo and my brain decided it wants to start singing all the SNL Domingo sketches. There is no rhyme or reason, just go with it… 030
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 18/02/2025The great thing about playing Shania in the morning is she brings out the sass in me 020
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 14/02/2025Does anyone else have a song they just randomly start singing for no real reason? Mine is I’m So Excited by the Pointer Sisters. I don’t know why, but I AM so excited and I just can’t hide it. 121
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 14/02/2025There’s only so much ridiculousness a person should have to put up with in one day. 041
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 14/02/2025867-5309 is a good 80s one hit wonder, but is pretty creeptastic to be honest, guys. 020
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 14/02/2025I read the news, sing a line or two of “What the World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love” then I keep reading, maybe eat a truffle. Not sure if this method helps yet… 010
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 13/02/2025Yes, I’m at work. Yes, I just watched a video all about Taco Bell’s new spring menu items. Live más, baby 063
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 13/02/2025I need a sign for my office door: If y’all are about to make my day crazier and you don’t come bearing coffee or candy, just walk away 042
Reposted by KrisWDead Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 13/02/2025Don't tell me you want sexy talk in the bedroom and then get mad when I start the PowerPoint presentation. 18937
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 13/02/2025🎶 It’s the most mispronounced time of the year… With candy hearts showing, And poetry flowing, (Let’s have no tears…) It’s the most mispronounced time of the yeeeear…🎶 (Brought to you by TINES not TIMES dammit, Inc.) 110
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 12/02/2025You can always tell when I get riled up, because my southern accent gets stronger and I say things like: “What in the H-E-Double hockey sticks do y’all think y’all’re doin’?” 121
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 12/02/2025Pretty convinced Norm the wily necklace gnome comes in at night and tangles up my necklaces while I sleep… 100
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 11/02/2025🎶 Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated…🎶 - my musical reaction to office drama. That’ll teach ‘em to bug me. My girl Avril and I will just be over here… music.apple.com/us/album/com...music.apple.comComplicated by Avril Lavigne on Apple MusicSong · 2002 · Duration 4:04 020
KrisW @kwilder.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Why yes, I do think warming up your yoga pants, t-shirt, and socks is a perfectly acceptable use of the dryer, thank you very much. 171