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Hand

@jrhand.bsky.social
572 followers 282 following 283 posts

I am eight feet tall, have 17 children, and I’m terrible at describing myself. I do have epilepsy and have had three brain surgeries; those are true things.

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Reposted by Hand
Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Years ago, my little brother was telling our mom about an argument he got into with another kid. And quoting himself as part of his anecdote, he said, “And I go, ‘I don’t give a BLEEP’S ASS.’”
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
TV shows of my youth led me to believe that as an adult I would encounter, and need to escape from, much more quicksand.
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Reposted by Hand
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
screenshot of a Bluesky post by Chronic Illness Humor (@chronicillness.bsky.social) displayed over a colorful, stained-glass pattern background.

The main text, written in a typewriter-style font, reads: "Me after having two good days in a row: something's fucking wrong."

MyBodyIsTryingToKillMe.com
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Being an Eagles fan, this is a ‘Root for the meteorite’ game for me, but this should have been a TD for Washington.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
He sounds like Kang and/or Kodos.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
New cat just dropped. www.nytimes.com/2026/09/18/s...
nytimes.com
New Species of Cat Discovered for First Time in a Century
The species, called a tilcayo, is smaller than a house cat and lives in the cloud forests of the Andes Mountains in Bolivia.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I had the pleasure of attending the Phoenixville Film Festival last night for their opening night with my friends at Scrappy Cinema, and it was excellent! Terrific work by everyone involved!
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Reposted by Hand
Scrappy Cinema @scrappycinema.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
It's a shame that you have to search so hard and use an Internet Archive link or sketchy YouTube upload if you want to see the original cut of "9/11." scrappycinema.com/the-quintess...
scrappycinema.com
The Quintessential 9/11 Documentary Is Worth The Search - Scrappy Cinema
In March 2002, merely six months removed from the tragedy of September 11, 2001, CBS aired a remarkable documentary. The project included what was billed as the only footage from inside the Twin…
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
E for effort!
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Reposted by Hand
Scrappy Cinema @scrappycinema.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
scrappycinema.com/the-early-wo... Sure Nathan Fielder is getting a lot of buzz for the upcoming doc "You Can See Everything," but his co-director also brings his own quirky artistic eye to the film.
scrappycinema.com
The Early Work Of “You Can See Everything” Co-Director Lance Oppenheim - Scrappy Cinema
Over the long Labor Day weekend, the film world seemed to be talking about only one thing: The super-secret, unannounced screening of You Can See Everything, the new Elizabeth Holmes documentary…
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Reposted by Hand
Scrappy Cinema @scrappycinema.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Among her many, many accomplishments, Dolly Parton also quietly contributed to the world of independent film. scrappycinema.com/dolly-parton...
scrappycinema.com
Dolly Parton’s Quiet Contributions to Independent Film - Scrappy Cinema
As news of Dolly Parton’s death spread across the globe last week, plaudits rightfully arrived, touting many of Dolly’s legacies. Of course there was her incredible singing and acting career, her amaz...
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Every day I receive news alerts from the New York Times and from the Onion, and it is getting more and more challenging to tell the difference.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Gonna go read a dystopian horror/sci-fi novel to feel better before I fall asleep tonight.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
#hammakered
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
In keeping with the ‘America 250’ theme, every bat used in tonight’s game is also a fully functional musket.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Fox’s pregame show has done an excellent job of making me wish I had gone to bed an hour ago.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
“Fungus… finds a way.”
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
R.I.P., Lindsey Graham. I should clarify: The ‘P’ stands for ‘Piranhas.’
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Every breaking news alert I get these days amounts to ‘The Supreme Court Sucks.’
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
“In conclusion, Quad Cities is a land of contrasts.”
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
jesus fucking christ sports
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
“Back to work!”
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
I have been cutting my patience into small bars and giving them to trick-or-treaters for YEARS.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
What an absolutely stupid time to be alive.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
Jamie Ding for president
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
Don’t worry, everyone. The Secretary of Defense used to be on ‘Fox & Friends.’ He wasn’t ‘Fox,’ though; he was just one of the ‘Friends.’
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Nothing in the world sparks in me the sudden need to get up and go take five minutes making a cup of coffee than sitting down with my laptop and a desire to write something. Stupid brain.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
Ever see someone on TV and think, ‘Oh my god how old are they?’ And then you google them and it turns out they’re YOUR age? I mean that’s never happened to me, but one day it will and it will SUCK.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Absolutely brilliant song, and the first CD I ever owned.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
Finally!
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Someone on Trump’s staff needs to arrange a meeting for him with this guy.
Bill from the classic show ‘Schoolhouse Rock.’ Apologies to those of you who saw my post and were hoping this image was of the Grim Reaper.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Great choice! I have Goose Island here. 👍
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Cheers! 🤣
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Okay fine I’ll watch this Trump presser/meltdown thing. But I’m having an IPA.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
- you could never pay me enough to do this thing i do not want to do - here is fifty dollars - okay fine
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
This does make me want to work out. Go for a long run, really. And then walk into the ocean.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
It’s just so nice to see someone set a goal.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
So they don’t know what the JAZZ… is all about, ya SEE?!
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
I am totally incapable of seeing Warsh’s name without thinking of this old ‘South Park’ episode. Every single time.
Screenshot from a 1997 episode of ‘South Park’ that takes place at a ski resort, and a skier picks on Stan Marsh by repeatedly calling him ‘Stan Darsh.’
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Entrapment!
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Reposted by Hand
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
"while I have you" no no no, that wasn't part of the deal
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
That was fucking excellent.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
I think it would be fun to have a middle name starting with ‘V’ so that I could pretend each of my signatures was a Supreme Court case citation.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
I am doing both (multitasking!).
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
I wouldn’t be shocked if half of my graduating class is in ICE now, even if they’re confined to the office in ICE’s Middle Aged Squad, beating the shit out of civilians in ‘Grand Theft Auto’ games.
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
‘The Avengers: Gettysburg’
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
A prequel to ‘Dragon Ball Z’!
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Years ago, my little brother was telling our mom about an argument he got into with another kid. And quoting himself as part of his anecdote, he said, “And I go, ‘I don’t give a BLEEP’S ASS.’”
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
At the end of a day like this, it’s nice that at least we can all join together, take a deep breath, and [/falls down a flight of stairs]
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Hand @jrhand.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
Among the truest things I’ve read in a while.
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