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Jon Marthaler

@jonmarthaler.com
4.7K followers 448 following 3.9K posts

Can't shut up about Minnesota sports, but still always Minnesota nice. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 1h
It's international break time, so let's talk soccer cards one more time. Here, a review of what may end up being the only true MLS card release of 2026: www.jonmarthaler.com/cardboard-so...
jonmarthaler.com
Cardboard Soccer, Part 4: New cards, old problems
2026 Topps Chrome MLS is out, with some new features - but some of the same problems that cards everywhere have always had.
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Aaron Gleeman @aarongleeman.bsky.social · 15h
I just unlocked this for anyone with a free AG•com subscription. No cost involved, and it takes about two seconds to sign up and start reading.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 29/09/2026
I totally missed this yesterday, but Michael Boxall didn't train today for #MNUFC because he got called up for New Zealand, replacing Finn Surman in the All Whites squad. Just a nice short jaunt to Japan for him, no big deal (comparatively)
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 29/09/2026
Cherrion Valerius is shorter than both Maurice Malone and Kelvin Yeboah, or at least no taller. At best that makes him 6’0”. This has been your hard-hitting on-the-ground #MNUFC height report
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 29/09/2026
I don’t have official measurements or anything, and perhaps it’s just a gait or posture thing, but right now I’m saying that Cherrion Valerius is not 6’3” like a couple of sites said he was. #MNUFC
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Jeff Rueter @jeffrueter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Good reflection here on Minnesota United, a team that have lost much of what made them interesting over the last 18 months and are now a stock-and-standard MLS outfit without unique on-field identity. Jon's a must-read for Loons fans, in bleak times and otherwise.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 28/09/2026
#MNUFC may not have been good, like really good, in the past. But the moves they made - and the moves they chose not to make - mean that they're now also no longer good enough.
jonmarthaler.com
Never being wrong is not the same thing as being right
The Loons skid hits five in Seattle, and if there was ever time for an existential crisis, it's now.
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The Loony Bin @loonybinpodcast.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“126: We Need to Take a Break” is live! We’re joined by @jonmarthaler.com because misery loves company as we discuss the loss in Seattle that runs the losing streak to five. And we preview the Houston home game in two weeks that pits the #MNUFC losing streak against a team that’s never won in MN.
theloonybinpod.com
The Loony Bin Podcast - Dedicated to expanding the fandom of MNUFC one newbie, or loonlet, at a time.
We are a podcast dedicated to expanding Minnesota United fandom one newbie, or Loonlet, at a time. Join us weekly (during the season) as Dan Elias, host (and fully grown Loon),  and Matt Leaf, co-host...
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Dan WHENESOTA @whenesota.com · 27/09/2026
#OTD in #Minnesota Sports History (1975) The Fighting Saints hold a scrimmage in Mankato with their farm team the Johnstown Jets that turns into a bench clearing brawl and leaves their star player with a broken nose. The game was a fundraiser for youth hockey. #ASlapShotInTime
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 27/09/2026
So #MNUFC actually finished with more xG than Seattle last night, according to @futi.live, because - if I am reading this chart correctly - Maurice Malone’s missed chance was the first one in soccer history that was worth more than 1 xG
A chart showing that the Loons xG suddenly jumped from under 1 to more than 2
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 27/09/2026
#MNUFC 2026 cover art
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
asdfghjklertyuiop
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 27/09/2026
Maurice Malone with the miss of the century for #MNUFC, my gosh
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 27/09/2026
Loons give up three goals for the fifth time in six matches. 20 GA in that span. Just awful
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 27/09/2026
Case being made right now for #MNUFC to just permanently switch to a 4-2-4. They’re always a goal behind anyway so might as well just start that way from the beginning
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 27/09/2026
I would not have bet on Hassani Dotson being a “don’t celebrate when you score against your former team guy.” And I would have been right because he wasn’t
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 26/09/2026
Testing the pregame $2 beers at Target Field to see if #MNUFC should adopt this idea for the rest of the season
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 25/09/2026
Army football remains an aphrodisiac for people who played nine-man or Class A high school football
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 25/09/2026
Friday #MNUFC update: Pereyra's injury, players on international duty, a positive sign for the Loons youth development, another @mnaurorafc.bsky.social pro signing, and some geography homework.
jonmarthaler.com
Free Headers: Seattle trips and other international duty
Minnesota heads to Seattle, sans several players who have instead gone off with their countries.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 25/09/2026
#MNUFC fans, want to see the best spreadsheet ever created?
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 25/09/2026
Joaquín Pereyra missed Friday’s training session for #MNUFC. According to head coach Cameron Knowles, he picked up a quad strain in training this week. Cherrion Valerius will travel this weekend, but is not guaranteed to be in the squad.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 25/09/2026
I am told Cherrion Valerius will wear jersey 52 for #MNUFC, and presumably will be playing linebacker on defense and right guard on offense.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 25/09/2026
Adding an entry to the Terrible Beat Writer Photography collection to prove that #MNUFC signing Cherrion Valerius is training today
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 23/09/2026
in order: Wisconsin law firm Weird shipping conglomerate Controversial German investment bank Anagram generator code is off, someone take a look Physics theorem Pickleball team (with alternate) in Minnesota Chemistry process Short poem Construction material your buddy has a weird attachment to
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Minnesota Aurora FC @mnaurorafc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
SKYE IS GOING PRO!! Congratulations to Skye Leach on signing her professional contract with Melbourne Victory in Australia! Thank you for everything you brought to Aurora, and we are wishing you the best of luck as you begin this exciting new chapter ✨
Going Pro graphic featuring Minnesota Aurora FC player Skye Leach in her Aurora jersey. Text reads “Going Pro,” “Skye Leach,” and “Officially signed with Melbourne Victory in Australia!”
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 21/09/2026
#MNUFC lost its fourth straight game on Saturday, and boos rang out again at the final whistle. The vibes aren't good, but that doesn't mean we can't think of ways to improve them! No bad ideas!
jonmarthaler.com
13 suggestions, of varying quality, to improve MNUFC's vibes
Everything's going wrong for Minnesota and the transfer window is closed. All that's left is to try to lift everyone's spirits.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 21/09/2026
I assume you're a subscriber to Stu's newsletter already, but if you aren't, and you don't subscribe to read this, then I genuinely don't know what you are even doing with your life
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
The Vikings winning twice with Carson Wentz is like entering a tractor with three wheels in an F1 race and winning because all the other teams crashed on the first turn or slid into a wall when it started raining
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
Greg Olson with, objectively, the stupidest possible take. "Maybe Kevin O'Connell made a mistake scoring extra points, so that this team that is now in field goal range instead has to score a touchdown" is just the dumbest thing I've ever heard
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
But can the Bears do it on a rainy night in Stoke
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
#MNUFC
static.klipy.com
Alonzo Mourning and Gary Payton on Miami Heat Bench
ALT: Alonzo Mourning and Gary Payton on Miami Heat Bench
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
#MNUFC defense collapsing again. Fourth time in five matches they’ve given up three or more goals, which is simply awful. Live standings have the Loons in 13th. Could be in 14th by the end of tonight.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
Does kind of feel like #MNUFC is a team that used to be good at *defending* set pieces
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
Remember how Morris Duggan was training normally but then suddenly was out last week and #MNUFC talked about how they didn’t want to make it worse? And then he partially participated Tuesday? Anyway he’s grabbing his hamstring and just got subbed off, I’m sure it’s fine
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
Joao Klauss has the energy of a math teacher that has grown to despise algebra over the past ten years and now knows, deep in his soul, that he has 25 more years to go until he can be done with math forever
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
Does kind of feel like #MNUFC is a team that *used to* be good at set pieces
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
S/O to the drummer in the "Apparently, I Like Soccer" shirt
2 men dressed as old time military/pirate garb flanking a man in the noted shirt
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 20/09/2026
I really enjoy the feeling of adventure of having Carlos Harvey in the lineup for #MNUFC. Cat in the Hat-level chaos potential. Fish on an umbrella could appear at any second
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 18/09/2026
Michael Boxall, who's suspended, and Peter Stroud, who's not close to returning from his quad injury, are the only two people on the #MNUFC player availability report.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 18/09/2026
Free headers: #MNUFC injury updates, Gopher awards, and international call-ups. (Middle-aged man note: It was pouring rain at training this morning, but I wore spikeless golf shoes, and they mostly kept the rain out. I deem this to be the most successful move of my week.)
jonmarthaler.com
Free Headers: Loons hope to have near-full contingent for Galaxy
Minnesota may be struggling defensively - but at least they aren't about to have injuries and suspensions wreak total havoc on them as well.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 18/09/2026
I figured out (thanks to @brandonhundt.com) how to get my soccer podcast on Apple Podcasts, which hopefully will feed through into other podcast directories, making it easier for you to get it via your favorite podcast app. Just in time for this week's episode, too!
podcasts.apple.com
The Jon Marthaler Podcast
Soccer Podcast · Updated Weekly · The official podcast of JonMarthaler.com, talking soccer - especially Minnesota United FC, and other Minnesota soccer.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 18/09/2026
Useless #MNUFC training apparel report: it’s cold and pouring rain. Everyone has long sleeves. Tomás Chancalay looks like he’s dying.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 17/09/2026
#MNUFC got Kyle Duncan’s red card from Saturday rescinded, presumably because the Independent Review Panel knows what Rafa Navarro is like. “We get it,” they probably said in their email.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 17/09/2026
Big congrats to Smir, who I learned was eligible to represent Jordan eight seconds before I started typing this post
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 17/09/2026
I strongly believe you are not going to read a better league-wide breakdown of the GAM situation across MLS than this one, from @armankafai.bsky.social. #MNUFC gets a mention, of course.
footyanalyticmusings.substack.com
Fall 2026 GAM Release
Can we get any insights to the future of some MLS teams?
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 16/09/2026
It's been a year of changes for #MNUFC - and the league as a whole is about to embark on more change. The Loons can't afford to wait when it comes to picking someone to lead the sporting side of the club. Luckily for them, they could hire a top-notch candidate with about three minutes of work.
jonmarthaler.com
Restoring stability for MNUFC should start with permanent CSO job for Stebbins
MNUFC can't afford any more instability at the top. Making Hank Stebbins the permanent chief soccer officer would help move the club back to solid ground.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 16/09/2026
I do not want the Twins to give Pablo López a contract *extension*. I want them to sign him to a lifetime contract and make sure he never leaves us ever
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 15/09/2026
More cardboard soccer: a history of MLS cards, the place in the card world that time (and Topps) forgot.
jonmarthaler.com
Cardboard Soccer, Part 3: Forgotten backwater... or hidden gem?
Topps hasn't always given all that much attention to MLS cards. Here now, a brief history of their attempts.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 15/09/2026
#MNUFC training update: Morris Duggan trained (80-90% of the session, according to coach Cameron Knowles), as did Bongokuhle Hlongwane (in full). No Jefferson Díaz, who is sick. Speaking as a parent, I assume somebody's kids went back to school last week and then got him sick somehow.
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Jon Marthaler @jonmarthaler.com · 15/09/2026
Useless #MNUFC training apparel report: fall is here, and so almost everyone went with long sleeves. Short-sleeved holdouts: Morris Duggan, Anthony Markanich, Mauricío González, and Kieran Chandler. (And me. It’s perfect out there.)
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