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Jon Cresswell

@jonathancresswell.co.uk
371 followers 256 following 1K posts

Web + radio nonsense. I come up with creative solutions and the plans so they happen. Fan of a glitter nail. He, sometimes. jonathancresswell.co.uk breakyourownnews.com

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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 08/10/2026
Same thing, but normally with the little bit of card it comes in. Usually awkwardly taken in the lift on the way to the room. And sort of weird as I always keep the key in it, so if I lose the paper, I've probably lost the room key anyway. And yet a search throws up a long history.
A search in Google Photos for 'Hotel Card' showing a grid of images of hotel key cards in wallets showing the room number
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 19/09/2026
Live from London, it's Saturday Evening Rehearsal!!!
Television Centre at nightSNL UK wristband
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 13/09/2026
Go to Amsterdam to see the trade show booth you designed for work, they said They didn't say anything about being outclassed in every way when you walk past the absolute legends that are VLC
VLC's booth is a retro mock-up of a bedroom with old school PC, Gameboy, UFO poster and a man poses in a traffic cone hat, cape, with VLC gold jewellery on his fingers. It fucking rocks.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 11/09/2026
The full image is even better
Cartoon assumed to be of Amol Rajan.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 01/09/2026
Burnham doing a perfect impression of the kombucha girl gif
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 12/08/2026
Excellent time at Allison Pallison for the eclipse. Brilliant size crowd, plenty of different ways of viewing it, big and small. Lovely bit of community vibes sharing glasses et al around.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 04/08/2026
I don't have any sleep tracking devices, but that hasn't stopped Google taking a guess in its weekly stats email
Screenshot: 0h 0m avg. restful sleep (Same as previous week)
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 01/08/2026
Excellent afternoon at the BFI, and rather than go for the IMAX screen, an epic of the small screen with a celebration of puppetry on TV. I am a sucker for puppets, this was excellent.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 02/06/2026
Reveals? Reveals? This is like saying picture book reveals sky is blue, doubts and infighting are what the party is about, this isn't new
Guardian screenshot: Analysis: Mandelson files reveal Labour party is riddled with doubts and infighting
by Kiran Stacey, Policy editor
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 31/05/2026
You enjoy that ice cream lil' fella
A squirrel holding a cardboard ice cream tub with their teethThe squirrel climbing up the tree, still with ice cream pot
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 21/05/2026
A bird eating margarine by the hotel-style packet. Got the hang of flipping the seal and everything.
A black bird sticks its beak into a hotel packet of margarine on an outdoor wooden table
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 19/05/2026
Oh no I think they've won ballerina, a woman has come out dancing to Mambo Number 5???
A woman in a short blue and red dress dances on the set of Italian Deal or No Deal
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 19/05/2026
Why can you win a Ballerina on Italian Deal or No Deal and why is a human considered a low value blue offer
Photo of a TV showing Deal or No Deal on Rai1. Remaining in the blue column, 10, 20, Gennarino, 200, Ballerina. In the red, 20k, 30k, 75k.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 23/04/2026
Went to Hampton Court Palace back in January to recreate Joel Dommett awkwardly saying 'wank' from tonight's Taskmaster
Jonathan standing on the corner of an ornate staircase at Hampton Court PalaceThe King's Staircase at Hampton Court Palace. The walls are covered in elaborate art.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 22/04/2026
It's been very hard over the last four days to keep walking past this display and not just fill in some missing signatures
A display board of snooker players in the World Championship, six out of the eight have signed under their names. Judd Trump and Ronnie O'Sullivan haven't.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 19/04/2026
Any guesses on Oink Ball?
Photo of a menu. Items under More Meat: burnt ends, pork belly ends, brisket croquettes, oink ball, smoke link sausage and thighs
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 17/04/2026
BREAKING
Screenshot of The Guardian. Latest: 6m ago: Here are some images of Peter Mandelson walking his dog in London this…
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 06/04/2026
We're not giving him a platform, just a stage, which is a literal platform
"Ye's music is played on commercial radio stations in this country. It is available via live streams and downloads in this country without comment or vitriol from anyone and he has a legal right to come into the country and to perform in this country.

"He is intended to come in and perform. We are not giving him a platform to extol opinion of whatever nature, only to perform the songs that are currently played on the radio stations in our country and the streaming platforms in our country and listened to and enjoyed by millions."
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 03/04/2026
Waitrose now offering sex tips
Photo of a recipe card, 3 Ways With Tomatoes
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 01/04/2026
When you're asked what your company does for the van but can't quite remember
A van with the name ERM PLUMBERS on the side
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 24/03/2026
Looks like the theory might hold...
BAFTA TV nominations for Scripted Comedy: Amandaland, Big Boys, How Are You? It's Alan (Partridge), Things You Should Have Done
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 12/03/2026
I think this is where I'm maxed out
Screenshot of the glasses cleaning simulator, with a score of 83.0% clean
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 28/02/2026
just off to tesco to pick up some bits for the brits anyone want anything? xx
A squeezy-honey bear bottle with the Brit Awards logo on the label
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 26/02/2026
Pleasure to be the person handing out the certificates for the @audioacademyuk.bsky.social @aiir.com 30 Under 30. I'm like Princess Anne at the Olympics, where you go "sure, they're there to hand it the honours apparently"
17 fantastic under-30s sat and standing in two rows holding framed certificatesSelfie of Jonathan in front of a screen saying Aiir Audio Academy 30 Under 30
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 22/02/2026
Between regular, celebrity, professionals and junior I didn't think there were any spinoffs left in the franchise but the BBC has made a bold call
Photo of a shop front "Oriental MasterChef" Chinese restaurant
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 10/02/2026
I now have a plush Natural History Museum* *with plush Pikachu attached
Plush of Pikachu hugging the Natural History Museum, outside of the Natural History Museum
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 03/02/2026
Meanwhile on Drag Race UK
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 01/02/2026
Risk is you'll leave it alone for a day and it'll look like this when you next open it
Rob's Guardian-style fesshole moderation screenshot, with a Guardian-begging-overlay on it
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 31/01/2026
Your parents trying to remember the name of that singer you like, that pink pony one, what's she called
Road sign for Capel Road
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 31/01/2026
And if you love your old hardware, really phwoar
"Retro" old hardware controls and DOS-style screen for a telescope
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 31/01/2026
Turns out @ucl.ac.uk have a gorgeous observatory pretty local to me. It'd be rude not to see it. Huge thanks to the UCLO team for their tour - loved seeing the systems first built over 100 years ago as well as the latest systems and learning about their work. Great stuff.
An astrological telescope in a closed-dome observatory. The telescope has large individual stacked weights.An astrological telescope in a closed-dome observatory. This one is small, modern and controlled by the computer screen seen shown.A really large astrological telescope in a closed-dome observatory. The photo is from an observation balcony.Old-style electronic controls with lit buttons for East, West, etc.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 17/01/2026
Should have called it Pretrol Station
A Pret a Manager at an Esso service station
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 11/01/2026
My recommended starter pack
1999 Pokémon trading card game 2-player starter set
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 29/12/2025
Me when this came up
Meme of Leo pointing from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 20/12/2025
Got some company at the coffee shop
Two red mannequins, with no arms, on large chairs in front of books at a table in a coffee shop
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 18/11/2025
You'll need to pop back in time to ASDA in 2023 and pick up the entire bin range
Three Christmas tree decorations of household recycling bins, yellow for Cans, green for Plastic and blue for Other.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 17/11/2025
Excellent week for me in getting printed-versions-of-internet-things - the @puzzmo.com notebook with puzzles on each page, and the @vole.wtf DOCTYPE magazine with entire web apps to type in to use. Wonderful nonsense.
An A5 notebook for Puzzmo + Circuits, with a cartoon meteor-shower inspired design, sits on top of an A4 magazine 'DOCTYPE' promising '10 Amazing Web Pages - Games + Toys + Puzzles + Utilities' with retro inspired artwork
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 31/10/2025
Breaking news (apparently)
Screenshot of the BBC News website. LIVE: Time to trick or treat! Share your best Halloween costumes, decorations and pumpkins
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 22/10/2025
When Rory Stewart isn't talking, Rory Stewart powers down
Screenshot of BBC Newsnight. Rory Stewart sits among a panel with his head bowed looking as if he's asleep.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 14/10/2025
I dunno I think a modern look would really suit it for, you could get this done for launch on say, next april, maybe by the 1st
A mockup of a 'modern' vole.wtf homepage. It has a centered floating nav bar, large hipster-style text, and a floating AI bubble.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 12/10/2025
Some light reading in this coffee shop
An absolutely massive book about Mastering Windows Server 2000 on a bookshelf
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 12/09/2025
Was a good walk though, even if you have to be prepared for all eventualities
Jonathan wears a pink hat and grey hoodie, smiling holding a wet umbrella above their head with raindrops on
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 12/09/2025
V&A East Storehouse is a pretty cool spin on museum stuff - you've got to be ready for it to be a bit of a grab bag of items without themes, sections etc, but if you want a wander and an 'oooh', fantastic
A large, hanger size building. A view of an atrium in the middle with multiple floors of exhibits on metal racks.
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 03/09/2025
The BBC News obsession with a live blog hits new heights as from the title I presume this blog is going to be running long non-stop for the next 3 months
BBC News: Live: Chancellor Rachel Reeves will deliver Budget on 26 November
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 02/09/2025
Started the fans, please and thank you.
A hand with purple painted nails holds a Crystal Maze crystal in front of a pint
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 19/08/2025
Screenshot from the Kirby Air Riders video. Kirby is delighted standing on a race track, with on screen text saying "No contest: Total champion!"
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 17/08/2025
Join our cult, new cult? Join our cult
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 17/08/2025
Entirely baseless assumptions I have made up #73: Søstrene Grene shops are actually just a front for a cult.
Handwritten sign from a shop. Two silhouetted women having a conversation "One should not be afraid... Dear Anna" "Of trying new things, sweet Clara". and "With a quiet smile, Anna watches their nephews culinary work in the little play kitchen. The menu says homemade pizza with topping of the finest fruits. In imaginative play, anything is possible."
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 06/08/2025
There's a slightly backwards ad campaign for WhatsApp in the big weird screen thing at Tottenham Court Road So WhatsApp can't see your messages, they're all private, right, that's the message So message WhatsApp and we'll show it to the passing public of London on a big screen
A corner of a room where all the walls and ceiling are screens. On it, a CG room with a floating message 'No one, not even WhatsApp, can see or hear your personal messages', along with a QR code to send a message.On a screen/wall, three floating phone replicas. Two show photos of members of the public in it, and the third is a message saying "I would like a biscuit thanks".
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Jon Cresswell @jonathancresswell.co.uk · 31/07/2025
Chris Morris, as a newsreader in The Day Today, with the caption "I hate Sebastian Coe!"
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