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Joaby

@joabyjojo.com
276 followers 211 following 842 posts

Games critic, author, podcaster. My new book Till The Heavens Burst is out now! joabyjojo.com/2024/11/15/till-the-h…

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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 25/09/2026
trying to find something in a store in japan: sumimasen, <don't try to speak more japanese, just gesture-ask for help and receive it quickly> meanwhile in australia: <if i say anything to anyone at all they'll realise i'm an idiot. better spend 30 mins not finding it myself before giving up>
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 18/09/2026
New gym shoes
A pair of 22kg weights before a pair of jikatabi style Nike workout shoes
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 17/09/2026
At the climax of Resident Evil (2026) the self-absorbed manchild screams "yeah! video games!" before reneging on his character growth. This is a reference to how video game movies never have anything to say
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 17/09/2026
The new Resident Evil movie is good.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 17/09/2026
Does Steve Coogan have some sort of deal with Qantas? I didn't even know there was new Alan Partridge but I watched all of it on the flight from Tokyo. And then Saipan. Both great. Strong recommend.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 16/09/2026
Ya boi on the jumbotron at the Ham Fighters game
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 13/09/2026
People with limited vision right before perverts got hold of the meta glasses
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 11/09/2026
Another Sony singleplayer game built exclusively for P-Zombies who yearn for the days when disembodied gods would tell them in detail every single little thing they should be doing from moment to moment
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 11/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Ateam Plan
Alt: "I love it when a plan comes together" gif
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 10/09/2026
Wild to think the first time anyone at Sony played either of the Death Stranding games was June 2026
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/09/2026
Vale Stevivor (pr. steve-eye-vore), a site that consistently punched well above its weight and never ducked a fight. Sometimes it picked fights for the fuck of it, but that's ice hockey baby and you gotta respect it. swright.au/news/a-new-p...
swright.au
A new path for Stevivor
Please enter this post to view its contents.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 01/09/2026
"fuck Zork" certified virtueless chatter
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 01/09/2026
It's gonna be 45 minutes of PlayStation execs spitting at you
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 30/08/2026
I remember we were at the lake once and I was on the shore and my wife was a clear 25m away floating on the water and she asked me to chuck her a beer. I cracked out this beautiful high arcing throw over the trees and it zipped down and nailed her right in the face
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 28/08/2026
Star Citizen Squadron 42 has been delayed to avoid Grand Theft Auto 6. Chris Roberts popped on Netflix, watched the preview and flat out dookied his dacks when he saw the release date. He wrote the following while still actively shitting his pants robertsspaceindustries.com/en/comm-link...
robertsspaceindustries.com
Letter From The Chairman
Roberts Space Industries is the official go-to website for all news about Star Citizen and Squadron 42. It also hosts the online store for game items and merch, as well as all the community tools use...
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 20/08/2026
They keep moving the stationery aisle at my local shop which I'm pretty sure is illegal
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 19/08/2026
The weight loss industry is a psy-op from Big Denim because they make pants you only need to buy once unless *big surprise* you wake up one day and your jeans don't fit any more
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 19/08/2026
Thanks Duskbloods network test for reminding me how terrible Nintendo online is
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 17/08/2026
Alright for basically no reason other than positive procrastination, I have compiled a comprehensive rewatch guide of The X-Files, distilling every season down to a British style 6 episode + christmas special long affair. joabyjojo.com/2026/08/17/x...
joabyjojo.com
The British Season Cut: An Essential X-Files Rewatch Guide
Want to rewatch The X-Files but only the best bits? This guide collects the six best monster-of-the-week episodes from every season.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 13/08/2026
I suppose I imagined the jank referenced in the title meant it would be deployed deliberately for entertainment, instead of used as a smokescreen to excuse the sloppy gameplay decisions.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 07/08/2026
Weight plates being stacked out of order has the same effect on me as sprinkling rice in front of a Chinese vampire
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Reposted by Joaby
Jeremy Ray @thejunglist.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Titanium Court is a fever dream of match three, beach rock, and Shakespearean storytelling. AP Thomson joins grokludo for a spoiler-free chat about the themes, "reverse punchlines", and behind-the-scenes processes that built his immortal faerie court. youtu.be/62upM-7C49E
youtu.be
Holding Court With Faeries, Fools, and Finite Jest - AP Thomson | grokludo 28
YouTube video by The Junglist
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/08/2026
I have been clapping cheeks at Fantasy Critic League for years and it has never earned me a single cent, continuing the trend of me using my immense talent for gaming trend analysis to not make any money
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 30/07/2026
My newest book, Final Final Girl, is available right now! Find it on Kindle, Kobo or DRM free direct from this website, grab the paperback from Amazon or the audiobook direct from me! joabyjojo.com/final-final-...
joabyjojo.com
Final Final Girl
Magic always has a price. The Town of Swarga is paying in full. For decades, the isolated Australian town of Swarga has thrived on a dark, unspoken secret. But when a mysterious, leather-bound tome…
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 16/07/2026
Man imagine you're the bloke in charge of the beached boat and Odysseus and his away team lead by his nepo-hire brother-in-law come sprinting back to the boat chased by hordes of who-knows-what for the umpteenth time, I'd welcome Scylla's sweet release
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 16/07/2026
Now that England is out I need a new team to root against. Who is the funnier loser between Spain and Argentina? If it was Rugby it'd be easy, because the Pumas can suck a fuck, but I dunno here.
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Reposted by Joaby
OneBGS - Bethesda Game Studios Union @bethesdaunion.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
One way you can show Microsoft your concern is here through the XBOX Player Voice feedback platform: feedbackportal.microsoft.com/feedback/ide...
Yesterday’s layoffs at Bethesda Games Studios were not a cut of “14 layers of management”. We lost dozens of programmers, artists, designers and testers. Many of whom worked at BGS for decades.

If Bethesda fans are worried this will harm the quality of our future games, like TES VI, let Microsoft know!
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 07/07/2026
Pouring one out for Folarin Balogun who made a reckless tackle to give the US team a storybook excuse for why they lost to Belgium only to watch it dissolve before his eyes at the eleventh hour
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 07/07/2026
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 06/07/2026
move over Brutal Doom, the Slop Doom era is coming
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 04/07/2026
the exact sentence that killed democracy
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/07/2026
Feel bad for the SBS editor who has to find 3 minutes worth of highlights in that trash fire
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/07/2026
Tonys are banned from coaching Australian national football teams.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/07/2026
Maybe we shouldn't have spent 120 minutes playing scared.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/07/2026
Jesus fuckin christ
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/07/2026
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 03/07/2026
Gustavsson 🤝 Popovic Tony's who have made questionable coaching decisions for Australian national football teams
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 01/07/2026
Sony dreams of a world where I'm stuck with Death Stranding 2 forever
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Reposted by Joaby
big lou @thetallblonde.bsky.social · 08/01/2025
being on bluesky
Tweet from furby Hancock:

Waiter: so how is everything?
Me: great!
Waiter: (disgusted) even war?
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 26/06/2026
Sad you weren't able to be a bigot when watching official League of Legends matches? Well rejoice, if you're capable of it, you sad sack of shit, because Riot has partnered with Kick. www.riotgames.com/en/news/riot...
riotgames.com
Expanding our Global Esports Distribution with KICK
KICK will help us serve more passionate esports fans, players, and creators around the world
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 25/06/2026
Can't even dunk on the Scots for this one, they're too good at bants. If I talk shit and we lose tomorrow they'll have me committing myself by 5pm
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 20/06/2026
Widows Bay is so good. Horror and comedy. What a combo.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 19/06/2026
Who did the most work for the US team? Cameron Burgess, the cramping ref or Tony Popovic and his experimental starting 11?
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 18/06/2026
Nobody ever told me anything I wrote was off and I wrote that Kojima was a coward for not cucking the player in Death Stranding 2 so I assume everyone just agreed with that.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 18/06/2026
Told my physio I'd been doing "goblin squats" and she looked at me like I grew eyestalks and I just now found out they're actually called "Goblet Squats" So now I need to find a new physio and also my world got a little less magical
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 17/06/2026
Colin Lane on S3 of Guy Mont Spelling Bee (AU) is such an amazing source of chaotic energy.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 17/06/2026
I *HAVE* an IMDB account and I'm not signing in out of spite. This is a crazy move. I wanted to read the ramblings of a lunatic but not so much that I'm gonna try and remember my fucking password for it. I'll just go check out the TIMECUBE on internet archive instead.
A clipped screenshot from IMDB.com reads "Sign in to access user reivews"
"See opinions from other fans, or write your own review."
"Sign in to IMDB"
"This extra step helps us keep IMDB's reviews a space for genuine, human voices."
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 14/06/2026
colin firth looks like he's fighting for his life in this turtleneck. who did my man like this
Clipped image from Disclosure Day shows Colin Firth drowning in a turtleneck. Sci-fi business occurs all around him.
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 13/06/2026
I live for it. I live for the inevitable sequel 3 years later with a features list that reads like a uno reverse card version of my gripes
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Joaby @joabyjojo.com · 13/06/2026
Really want to see The Furious here in Australia but it's not screening anywhere and I think back to when me and Alan Moore (not the wizard) got off a flight from LA and in a jetlagged stupor went straight to the cinema to watch The Raid 2 on opening day and had an entire cinema to ourselves
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