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Jess Roveda

@jessroveda.bsky.social
45 followers 50 following 89 posts

🏳️‍🌈🎸🥳 Gritty, poppy, and a whole lot of fun 📍Toronto jessroveda.com/more

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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Hello I have just released my first song in nearly 4 years, it's called Hollow and if you like grungy moody tunes but also kind of hooky you might like this :) ffm.to/hollow_jr
ffm.to
Hollow
Choose your preferred music service
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Emma Embur @emmaembur.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
My cover art for @monstrosaband.bsky.social 's new single "MANDIBLE" That I CANNOT WAIT for you to hear 😭💚 events.leapevents.com/event/monstr...
A mostly green illustration of a woman grabbing her jaw. Her head it tilted all the way back and her jaw a skeleton with pointy teeth multiplying into 4 jaws as it tilts. I'm having trouble describing this. The 3rd jaw bone is red and forms the L in the title MANDIBLE.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Look at this fortune cookie
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ILLBRAD 🔞 @blasternation.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
CHANGE MY PIK UP SMACK MY BULB ORP
Edited screenshot of red Pikmin but with the Prodigy: The Fat of the Land album logo on it.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
I’m finally releasing music for the first time in 4 years! If you like moodier grungier vibes with a hooky melody, please give Hollow a pre-save, it comes out Sept 16 :) ffm.to/hollow_jr
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Nicole Express @nicole.express · 28/07/2026
this is where the internet went astray
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
-was supposed to receive package 2 weeks ago -arrives on time, wrong item -correct item sent, scheduled delivery for last Thursday -sender somehow got my address wrong. -issue fixed, package “out for delivery” today -“Delivered!” -was put in the wrong parcel box that I have no way to access
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Expanded my pin board :)
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Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
i sure did fill this out (despite its ludicrous framing of many of its questions), and you should too!
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Toronto Tempo @tempobasketball.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
League leader in three-pointers made, of course she’ll be there. 3️⃣ Marina Mabrey will be participating in the WNBA 3-Point Contest as part of WNBA All-Star 2026! ✨
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
checkbox on an application form that says “only add me to your promotional email list if I get accepted otherwise I don’t care.”
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Wendy Thurm @wendythurm.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
I want boos so loud that the ABC censors can’t control it. I want gestures so obscene that ABC would have to black out the game to cover them all. Do us proud, Knicks fans.
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Dave Lack @davelack.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
As Silver is gaslighting about Trump, the faces on the ex players say it all. If “Fuck that guy” was a facial expression.
Of fuck that guy was a facial expression. The reaction to Trump being there.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
sound person complimented the tones and levels of my custom presets tn
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
It’s crazy to me when bands ask the audience “hey how do we sound out there, can you hear everything okay?” like is the sound person not immediately thinking “oh yeah okay guess I’ll go fuck myself then”?
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Toronto! I’ll be playing my first show of 2026 at Handlebar this Thursday. Just myself, no band for this set. PWYC! ✌️
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Zoe TunnHELL ➡️ NYCC @zoewithasword.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
When I say Jackass is lesbian culture I FUCKIN MEAN IT
Johnny Knoxville posting a tweet with a bunch of hearts added reading 

breakfast sandwich maker @ip... .2h ... every gay and trans friend i have on letterboxd has rated jackass forever 5 stars including me. 4 at the absolute lowest. this is for us we are the backbone of the jackass fan base you CANNOT erase us!!!!
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Timothy @landbeforetim.myatproto.social · 01/05/2026
Bring back the ancient knowledge
Things you read on a blog might make you angry. They might upset you. Stop visiting that blog. Don't waste your time posting comments. Move on and find a new blog. There are so many fun blogs on the Internet. You'll easily find a better one.
There is always another fun new blog to read online.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
What’s a shorter way to say “I do in fact have a strong opinion on this but I have absolutely zero interest in arguing about it for 45 minutes with a stranger online”
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
‘if you don’t learn to use AI, you’ll get left behind!’ 🍆✊ www.patreon.com/posts/155290...
If an AI future is what I'm getting left behind from, then Christ, just leave me behind.
A girl can only pivot so much, hoss, and I hung up my pivotin' boots some time ago. I don't make videos even though that was supposedly the future of writing ten years ago — I mean, I guess I do, but they're little banjo practice videos for my friends, not expressions of a desperate careerist impulse. I use social media with the attention-crazed dopesickness of an addict, not the care and forethought of a professional, as any cursory read of my posts will confirm. I'm a writer by trade — a creative, as you might say — and here you are, running a business you don't even understand into the ground, deskilling my trade and expecting a thank you when you explain how you're doing it. If I don't devalue myself the way you continually devalue me, you warn, I'll be left behind. Okay, says I! Quit making it my problem and go! The dust you leave me in will settle, and in the meantime, I will keep doing my work in much the way I've done it since I first became literate.
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Retro Computers @retrocomps.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
If you have Angelfire or Tripod webpages, or Angelfire email, back it up now. A shutdown within the next 27 days is coming but they have not given us an exact time yet.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
(slides the mixing engineer $10) can you make it sound like Metallica Load and ReLoad
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
standing outside Mandarin wearing a lime green hanky in my back left pocket
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Cheer Captain @cheercaptain.wang · 11/03/2026
On Bluesky you have to refer to Kathleen Hanna’s band as ⓘ Sexually Suggestive Kill
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
in this house we [van halen starts playing]
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Niko Stratis @nikostratis.com · 25/02/2026
there should be a special license, renewed every 6 months, for men that photograph women on stage
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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 26/02/2026
LOGGING ON
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
Cold take but We Might Even Be Falling in Love by Victoria Monet should be longer than 51 seconds. It needs a 17 minute suite like a classic Donna Summer record.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
People in Toronto love to line up for things in shitty weather and boy am I feeling very Torontonian right now being the second person in a 2 person line up
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rue @deathcarpets.enterdeepfo.rest · 04/02/2026
the sacred text
stream htmljones - hello html @htmljones
Follow
...
alarmingly younger gf (scrolling tiktok): i don't even fw jjk like that but toji phonk edits go so hard
40-year-old ivy league lesbian academic stroking her hair: they used to call these AMVs in the Bush administration
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
confession I’d never seen Jurassic Park ever before until last night and I loved it but also WHAT THE FUCK
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
In a constant cycle > shopping at winners > finds cosmetic / hair product I love for an affordable price > discontinued 9 months later > trying to buy up all the clearance stock > where tf can I find something just as good for an affordable price > “oh hey a new product I really like at winners”
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Fly high, Toronto angel 🕊️🤍
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
Traitors Canada challenges: Fly and land a plane but watch out! 3 out of 4 landing pads are hidden minefields. You will win $200. Traitors USA challenges: seek and find! Match the colours and shapes! :) you will win $50,000.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
tweaking the pwyc terms to include canadian tire money and bags of m&ms in lieu of cash
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
throwing back this whole bag of Costco cheese curds like they’re chips
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
Finally started a pin board yay :)
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
resisting the urge to say “you mean this picnic is ruining our ants!!!!” anytime Roll To Me starts playing in public
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
she’s unsure about the cat grass
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
uber driver has a playlist of breakup bangers going rn and idk who hurt my man Albert but shame on you
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
my mom changed her ringtone to the “womp womp womp womppppp” trumpet and I just KNOW that’s gonna go off in public at the worst / funniest possible time
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
rewatching Buffy for the first time in like 15ish years on s2e3 and i’ve already had it up to here with drusilla….pointless ass annoying ass coquette heroin chic ass lana del rey vinyl ass character
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
Toronto! Tomorrow! Alt rock and metal at Drake Underground. Lots of riffs and lots of fun, 7-10pm, $15 at the door only!
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
lesbian guitarist who dooms: Ellen Djenteres
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
restaurants stop using AI to generate pics of your food!! the dripping wing sauce looks like cum!!!
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Niko Stratis @nikostratis.com · 16/08/2025
This is an incredible lede, like an undercover cop trying to blend in at a farmers market
From Sarah McLachlan and Van Halen, to Blackpink (featuring Selena Gomez), musicians have sung about the joys of ice cream for decades. Now there’s something new to sing about with the launch of the Ninja Swirl by CREAMi Ice Cream Maker.
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
something so comforting about seeing this diva in a shop window
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
If you like this cool as all hell poster by the talented @emmaembur.bsky.social then you’re gonna LOVE the show it’s advertising!! Toronto, Drake Underground, Sept 6. Lots of riffs! Lots of girls! Lots of gay! Lots of fun!!! We’ll see ya there! ✌🏻
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Jess Roveda @jessroveda.bsky.social · 27/07/2025
The entire history of popular music, according to Nintendo’s official Mario Paint Player’s Guide (1992)
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