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jess

@jess.red
1.1K followers 366 following 5.2K posts

threat supermodel. clocky like lamport.

PostsRepliesMedia
jess @jess.red · 6h
eric "hawkeye" schmitt
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jess @jess.red · 6h
welcome to ballhalla
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jess @jess.red · 15h
i am coming to terms with the fact that there will be no electoral consequences for being evil fuckfaces, but there may be electoral consequences for being obscenely stupid
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jess @jess.red · 16h
amy klobuchar anger translator: "boy are you stupid."
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jess @jess.red · 26/09/2026
burgundy gud it is precisely the color of a perfectly ripe passionfruit. i know bc I held them next to each other.
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jess @jess.red · 26/09/2026
extremely reasonable
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jess @jess.red · 26/09/2026
"the everything machine" is what they have on Star Trek. it's hooked into everything, operates everything, answers your question, makes you a raktajino. the starfleet everything machine has no issue running a cardassian space station because it got hooked up and just figured out how to run it.
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jess @jess.red · 26/09/2026
i have recently taken to calling this "the everything machine". there is a center of gravity that makes giving more capability to the model more and more attractive as there is more capability the model already has.
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jess @jess.red · 26/09/2026
the thing about hellthread is that it was so great that people actually made stickers for hellthread. the other thing about hellthread was that the window of greatness was so short that by the time the stickers arrived, they were just kinda embarrassing.
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jess @jess.red · 26/09/2026
i am now, and always have been, a lowbie
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jess @jess.red · 23/09/2026
our age of cgi is collapsing
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jess @jess.red · 21/09/2026
(🖤🩶?)|(🩶((💚🩶)|🖤)*🖤+)
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jess @jess.red · 17/09/2026
rocky rococo's basilisk
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jess @jess.red · 02/08/2026
poasting from the Tall Plane
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jess @jess.red · 19/07/2026
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Gabby yelling "For the gays!" postgame (h/t @saraziegler.bsky.social)
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jess @jess.red · 24/06/2026
giggling at the mental image of Elon Musk having a Russ-Hannigan-on-Silicon-Valley-style meltdown at losing his fourth comma
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jess @jess.red · 13/06/2026
it would be nice if no trillionaires existed :)
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Natacha @natacha.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
The most important response when anyone says that a toilet ban is “unenforceable”; “Assholes will be deputized” It will be enforced by violent rightwing men entering women’s toilets after anyone who “looks” trans. Cis & trans women will be assaulted in the ladies. This is a feature not a bug.
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Revan @revan.eurosky.social · 18/05/2026
> looking at tech sector layoffs > ask the hr manager if the layoffs are from ai or from the end of zirp > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is ai replacement and what is zirp > she laughs and says "they’re good layoffs sir” > check the data > its zirp
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Pride at the Pier 🏳️‍🌈🤝⚧️ he/she/they/xe @prideatthepier.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
We keep hearing folks rejecting the warning bells about the trans genocide, saying “it’s not like there’s gas chambers & ovens”. Aside from the reality that the Holocaust didn’t start w/ gas chambers & ovens, this comes from an ignorant understanding of what a genocide is. Let’s talk about it. 1/15
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jess @jess.red · 17/05/2026
tired: one representative for every 10,000 people wired: one supreme court justice for every 10,000 people
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jess @jess.red · 16/05/2026
Spice Symphony has very good Indo-Chinese
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jess @jess.red · 12/05/2026
they are ensuring they can hit exactly who they want to hit so that they can yank travel privileges from _only_ trans people with no sympathetic non-trans victims of the policy.
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jess @jess.red · 12/05/2026
let me spell it out: they are practicing the process for mass passport revocation on the least sympathetic people possible so that it goes smoothly and cleanly when they do it to trans people.
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jess @jess.red · 11/05/2026
to be millennial is to be cringe
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jess @jess.red · 11/05/2026
well, we already knew you hit peak maturity at 30
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jess @jess.red · 11/05/2026
come at me @huwupy.kawaii.social
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jess @jess.red · 11/05/2026
the most millennial cultural artifact is charlie the unicorn
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jess @jess.red · 11/05/2026
hey @unquantifiable.bsky.social dating me just became deeply problematic
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jess @jess.red · 11/05/2026
only if you go based on the age of the actors... by which standard mad men is a zoomer show
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jess @jess.red · 11/05/2026
itt: elder millennials naming Gen X things
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jess @jess.red · 10/05/2026
only today left to get your bids in! ofc you can still give money to folks in Minneapolis whenever you want, but this is the only time you can do it AND get an original stained glass panel from me (unless I do this again...?)
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jess @jess.red · 09/05/2026
i hear they have great public transit
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jess @jess.red · 08/05/2026
girls dream about the Nikon 6mm f2.8 Fisheye-Nikkor Auto 220°
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jess @jess.red · 08/05/2026
you are so much more mature than a child
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jess @jess.red · 08/05/2026
three days to go!
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Rev. Poppy Haze 𓅋 @poppyhaze.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
found this guy on Tiktok who has discovered carpenter's speed squares make an insanely satisfying noise when you bounce them off tires or wood, called @lostcoastedc on there
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jess @jess.red · 07/05/2026
a meditation on the San Francisco 67
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jess @jess.red · 03/05/2026
hey folks! Minneapolis/St. Paul continue to struggle with the economic fallout of the ICE occupation there, and we need to help them. I'm auctioning this piece of stained glass, titled Fuck ICE and designed/constructed during the occupation, to benefit those families.
Fuck ICE, 13"x13", transparent and opalescent glass in lead came with a zinc border, February 2026.

The piece is a square matrix of blue, white, and transparent glass, with the size of pieces ranging from half-inch squares to 3"x1" rectangles. Transparent borders produce a floating effect for blue and white constructions with a crystalline motif.
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jess @jess.red · 06/05/2026
where???
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jess @jess.red · 05/05/2026
the French sure have something going on with this "fourth republic", "fifth republic" thing. we're way behind them on this.
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jess @jess.red · 05/05/2026
rude
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jess @jess.red · 05/05/2026
current high bid is only $300! You could own this piece of art and help your comrades at the same time!
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jess @jess.red · 05/05/2026
current high bid is $300!
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jess @jess.red · 03/05/2026
ok cool cool cool. relieved at seeing the beautiful cookie output.
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jess @jess.red · 03/05/2026
(me, stressed out by the idea of someone having cookies with the Wrong Amount of Butter)
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jess @jess.red · 03/05/2026
hey catbus normally I would not say anything but as you are in-process i want to make sure you're fully aware that the cubes are marked as 2oz each, not 4oz.
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jess @jess.red · 03/05/2026
fwiw my take on saikat is that _even if he isn't completely frank_ with who he is and what he'll do and how effective he'll be - he'll still vote at least as well as wiener - i want to reward politicians who are willing to say "literally all this is incredibly structurally fucked"
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