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jessican’t🤍

@jess.asstrophe.lol
420 followers 318 following 688 posts

sometimes i’m funny

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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/09/2026
need answers why i’m having adult acne when i didn’t get acne as a teen am i being punished or just wearing makeup more
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/09/2026
Three-panel Simpsons meme. Homer sits at the kitchen table repeatedly stabbing between his fingers with a knife while yelling, “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” Marge walks in and says, “No knife games on the kitchen table.” Homer angrily replies, “I didn’t hit your precious table!”
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/09/2026
actually glad ed sheeran isn’t pro palestine cause i probably would have been guilted into supporting him by listening to his music again
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/09/2026
it’s interesting ed sheeran choosing to end a career that was already on its way to being buttons at milton keynes panto
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 13/09/2026
it’s called generational trauma and only the bravest and strongest of us learn the skills to break it
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 31/08/2026
i honestly just feel like screaming all the time but i won’t because i smoke and it’ll make me cough and hurt my throat
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 17/08/2026
Hayden Panettiere dying has fucked me up
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 17/08/2026
got a fitbit so now my phone can tell with full evidence what a fucked up mess i really am
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 17/08/2026
target is in… but can he get out?
A fluffy long-haired cat pokes its head through the circular opening of a cream fabric storage box in a wooden cube shelving unit. A closer view of the fluffy cat leaning its head and chest out through the circular opening of the storage box, looking down from the top of the shelving unit.
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/08/2026
chris actually tried to explain to me, a cis female woman who has regular periods, what a blood clot looks like
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/08/2026
restore britain would have called air raid sirens woke nonsense and told you just to go look up in the sky if you were worried about your whole family and home being bombed
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/08/2026
really fucking devastated that a black autistic man was subjected to such relentless public hounding, and that seemingly so little was done to shield him from the worst of it. scrutiny is one thing. sustained humiliation and abuse is another. there has to be a point where we ask wtf are we doing
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Jules @jules111985.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Poorly timed notification from the range there 🤦🏻‍♀️
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/08/2026
not the national emergency alert system being used to send “guys pls stop starting fires 🥺”
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News Coulomb @newscoulomb.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Seems legit enough that I'm not going to look into it any further.
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 15/08/2026
those people forcing themselves to look directly at the sun during the eclipse even though it physically hurts just because they refuse to listen to any medical advice
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 13/08/2026
male blindness should be studied like what do you mean you’ve spent ages looking for something that i found in 5 seconds
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 12/08/2026
the autistic urge to break free from the shackles of society
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 10/08/2026
can’t believe today was monday
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 10/08/2026
there are still harry potter fans? like hardcore ones? there are so many other options that don’t support a transphobic lunatic
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 10/08/2026
ikea was exhausting and them making the furniture was exhausting and so we had to stop making the furniture and i haven’t eaten anything today but like two chicken bites and im okay
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 08/08/2026
kinda unsettled by the new primetime trailer because is this film trying to make me not think it’s a good thing to push pedos to the edge that they erased themselves from existence? because i will not
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 07/08/2026
is count binface prime minister yet?
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 06/08/2026
think it’s really interesting that suddenly more females are being diagnosed with ADHD and autism and the response is that it’s now “fashionable” and people are being “misdiagnosed” because they’re “being dramatic” or “overreacting”
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 06/08/2026
might need a trip to ikea soon
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 04/08/2026
can you get a full time job where you only work 2 hours a week
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 03/08/2026
wild to think that this is what medieval soldiers did in their free time
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paranormal mattivity @windows98support.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
“do you have any questions?” Me: “Yes, would you love me if I were a worm? 👉👈🥺” The interviewer: “…any questions about the role?”
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
my maslow hierarchy of needs
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
everything reminds me of him
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
just found out that i have toe cancer and my doctor lewis goodall told me not to have chemotherapy because my hair is too pretty to lose 🥺
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
here for you whether you need moral support or oral support
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
lewis goodall strangled my nan
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
not one person has complimented my tits today
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
getting really obsessed with true crime
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
i feel like if i was a dog i’d be a whippet or italian greyhound probably italian greyhound cause they’re more accident prone and pathetic in a very adorable way but still pathetic
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
it just occurred to me how much logan paul looks like a young jimmy saville
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 02/08/2026
does anyone else stay up until 4am still or have you all become functioning human beings
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Sardonicus @sardonicus.eu · 01/08/2026
cartoon 
Nancy on bed saying actually yeah maybe today satan
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
finally someone was brave enough to say it
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
actually insane that i’m out here giving people therapy and genuinely helping them while i’m personally completely and utterly broken and fucked up turns out years of masking autism, people pleasing, putting everyone else first and minimising my own emotions were excellent professional development
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
wish you didn’t need to have friends and social skills to play d&d
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
when will there be a mass deportation of microphones owned by men
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
was feeling sad so my 6 y/o drew me this frog
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
“I enjoyed being under you”
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
when people ask you what games your currently playing and you have to laugh and change the subject because you’re currently addicted to finding little sprites in a kids game
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 01/08/2026
it’s sexy saturday everyone get your socks out
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jessican’t🤍 @jess.asstrophe.lol · 31/07/2026
Andy Burnham without his glasses looks like someone drew a face on a wet boiled potato
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