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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷

@jacobgood.bsky.social
433 followers 184 following 3.4K posts

Former mathletic superstar and gifted child. Current schmuck. Aspiring Author and Amateur Alliterati. Views expressed are my own...and possibly of other people who agree with those expressed views. No rights reserved, 1980©

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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Yeah, my quality of life sure has improved since my coworker's husband was deported and she's now raising four children by herself. It's soooo great to think about the sadness in her eyes. FFS.
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 24/09/2026
"While Charlie Brown did once again accelerate toward the ball, miss it entirely as Lucy pulled it away, flip backward through the air, and land violently with a disquieting crunch, we do not believe that now is the time for a dramatic change in kicking strategy." buff.ly/X2RjqP5
buff.ly
“Charlie Brown Must Stay the Course”: A Football Kick Autopsy Report by the Democratic Party
“While Charlie Brown did once again accelerate toward the ball, miss the ball entirely as Lucy pulled it away, flip backward through the air, and land violen...
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
If I injured someone's head, neck, and teeth in a "brief detainment," I doubt the news would be casual about it. Why is law enforcement special?
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Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
a lot of people act like there's a trade being offered where we give up trans athletes in sports and in exchange fascism is defeated forever
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I'm currently reading about the Korean "Conflict" in which US soldiers were in "conflict" with Chinese "volunteers" that resulted in 30K US soldiers being "killed."
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I don't understand what's difficult about this. Trans people exist, have autonomy, vote according to their principles, and don't appreciate being taken for granted. You know, like the rest of us?
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I still don't know who Hasan Piker is, and I feel like that's okay.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
"People don't eat healthy, so shut up about measles" is a weird illogical statement.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
The Nutty Post Doc
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
2015 Donald Trump is calling 2026 Donald Trump a loser and "not very bright, folks."
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Somewhere on the other side of the universe, polar opposite of Earth, someone is being born under the backward Scorpio sign and they're going to be the sweetest person ever. But that's a very INTP thing to say.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
There's no such thing as third-party removals by ICE. That's called human trafficking.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Me, waiting for the asteroid: "Come onnnnnnn. Where is it?!"
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
If you tell me you're a patriot, I know you're not.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
My wife printed movie tickets so our kids could get them punched like they were at a real theater. We watched Matilda and they LOVED it. @marawilson.bsky.social l My wife is wondering if the kids in the movie were actually afraid of Miss Trunchbull on set. The actress was too good at being evil.
Homemade movie tickets for Matilda.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Christian extremists fighting moderate Muslims? Inshallah all day, baby.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Iran War 17: 2 Electric Boogaloo, 2 Furious
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
The guy they hired to remove these is a real cockblock.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
My nephew got a bug catcher for his birthday. I feel like the company didn't think this through.
Bug catcher toy that looks like Elon Musk would get it for his kid.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Melting ICE with water. A+, kids.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Don't worry guys, Argentina only needs the last ten minutes no matter what the score is. #copamundial
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
I came up with a true story about Cassandra, but everyone kept thinking it was a joke.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
This man is a treasure. He's a politician with heart, which is sadly rarer than it should be.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
This country is so dumb. One of a hundred lawmakers with lofty powers over the entire citizenry, requiring an electoral majority in their state to be seated, but they can be replaced by literally anyone if they die.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
I'm glad there are iron workers. I'm more glad there are unions. I'm glad that some guys can build a shed. But can we dispense with the bravado? Whatever happened to humility?
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
"What I'll remember most about Jeffrey Dahmer was his love of odd cuisine and how he deployed it to random men around Milwaukee."
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
George W. Bush was so bad at being president that the nation replaced him with a black man who was so good at being president that people replace him with a reality TV star.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Pepperidge Farms remembers, and so do I. #neverforget how bad W was.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
I see a lot of patterns all around me, but I think I don't believe in conspiracy theories because they fit too perfectly within those patterns. It feels like fitting the curve.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
I couldn't write something this ridiculous. I honestly need to know what universe this person lives in, because it is not this one.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Walter Cronkite: "Odds that JFK died at 1 pm Central Standard Time are paying 8-5 on Kalshi. Now here's the weather brought to you by Draft Kings."
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Christian Christensen @chrchristensen.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Absolutely insane that Cape Verde — a country of 500,000 — played Spain, Uruguay and Argentina…and lost to none of them in regulation. Easily one of the greatest performances in World Cup history.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Three favorite books that help us understand what “the United States of America” means.
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee BrownStamped from the beginning by Ibram X. KendiWe the People by Jill Lepore
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Sanho Tree @sanho.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Technically, they’re Remains now.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I was about to type something amazing, but then I had to stop to hydrate. #worldcup2026
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Heather Anne Campbell @heathercampbell.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
And I thought I had daddy issues.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons meme
static.klipy.com
Homer Simpson Devil Dancing with Maracas
Alt: Homer Simpson Devil Dancing with Maracas
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Sorry about slamming my brakes in the middle of the freeway, I was taking a hydration break. #worldcup2026
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Lotta dead foreigners and locked-up black guys, but at least these warmongers can smile for a photo?
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
People watching Cyril Radcliffe draw a map:
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
"Would you consider donating $5 to stop the pure joy that is destroying the center-right?"
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
I saw John Heard at a showing of Saw. I heard someone say, "I think I saw John Heard is here at Saw!" I heard someone else say, "Here? At Saw? I thought I heard John Heard here at Saw!" I had never seen or heard something so weird, except that time I saw John Hurt stab a guy.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
"Hey, let's watch The Little Rascals (1994.) That'll be great. Oh, who has a cameo? Goddamnit."
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Helen Kennedy @helenkennedy.com · 06/06/2026
Hegseth sees DDay as a story about invaders who must be stopped.
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Cohen is a Ghost @skullmandible.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
it's gonna be so depressing in 10 years when all the urban explorers have to pick through is endless rows of identical empty server racks
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
For real. I read the article and I still don't know what the point was. "Dating is difficult, but don't give up, straight people!" Uh...okay? *shrugs*
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
People are spending more on guillotines. It's a sign of optimism.
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Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷ @jacobgood.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
I'm 95% done with my novel that I haven't started. The remaining 5% is to focus on writing the entire thing.
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