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Jack Probst

@jackprobst.com
2.5K followers 1K following 5.9K posts

writer of sappy personal essays about music, comedy, and film. also writing a book about growing up with a rare bone disorder. it’ll be funny, i swear. ✍️: merry-go-round mag, paste, pitchfork, creem, nme, etc.

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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 7h
Cleaning out an old box of weird stuff, and yes, I do still have the @donhertzfeldtfilms.bsky.social Rejected Zippo lighter.
A shiny Zippo Lighter with the little Puff guy drawing on it. A shiny Zippo Lighter with the REJECTED logo on it.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 11h
Or you could engage with music by learning an instrument so you can write birthday songs for your friends and family every year.
tothtunes.bandcamp.com
111 Birthday Songs, by Tōth
111 track album
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 11h
Do we need popcorn buckets for every goddamn movie? We bought the DUNE one as a goof, but these are all just a waste. The Funko Pops of movie theaters.
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aric @aghastronaut.com · 29/09/2026
Making the bounce house into a bounce home.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 29/09/2026
Bought a ticket for the half marathon, but still looking for the whole shebang if someone you know needs to sell theirs.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 29/09/2026
HEADLINE: LONG MOVIE LONGER
From the IGN Instagram, a photo of Spider-man: igndotcom *
=
NEWS
SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY IS GETTING A THEATRICAL RE-RELEASE WITH NEW FOOTAGE
IGN VIA: DEADLINE
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 29/09/2026
I’m loving this record. It fills the same hole (teehee) that bands like The Faint did for me back in my indie sleaze days.
music.apple.com
Minimal Criminal by Adult DVD on Apple Music
Song · 2026 · Duration 2:24
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 27/09/2026
Instead, we could talk about how this is one of the greatest songs of 2026 and how it could light up your heart and bring you hope.
music.apple.com
Yellow Sun by Downtown Boys on Apple Music
Song · 2026 · Duration 3:49
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 26/09/2026
We’re splitting the difference on her interest in bird feeder cameras and my interest in horror movies by watching Hitchcock’s The Birds.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 26/09/2026
Favorite letter of the alphabet: Go!
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 25/09/2026
First, it’s iced coffee, next you’re gonna tell me I can’t bring my bong to a job interview! What’s wrong with this country?
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 25/09/2026
My favorite part of my job is mentoring my younger coworkers by reminding them that none of this means anything and that it's okay to say you don't have the bandwidth to take on anything else. This is not an emergency. It's pet food. It's social media. It doesn't mean anything. It's all pretend.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 25/09/2026
I'm sorry, how is Boardwalk Empire not on that friggin' list?!?
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 25/09/2026
The forecast where I'm at says an Iron & Wine pre-Endless Numbered Days front is headed this way.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 24/09/2026
Godzilla’s gonna be droppin’ f bombs and showin’ hog.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 24/09/2026
We are getting closer and I am getting sadder about possibly missing out. I’m on a waiting list but if y’all hear anyone trying to get rid of theirs, I’m here to purchase even though last year I said I’d never do it again. 👻
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 24/09/2026
For years of my childhood, I pleaded with the universe that any trailer starting with this logo at the top would be a new Ninja Turtles.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 23/09/2026
Every once in a while, I'm reminded of the intimidating heavy metal dude who used to frequent the record store where I worked back in the day. We called him Big Scary Nice Guy. He looked frightening as hell, but he was really sweet as pie.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 23/09/2026
It felt weird when I was sent a press release about this earlier.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 23/09/2026
Tell that to Steve Martin.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 23/09/2026
I, for one, welcome more masked/costumed bands. I love it when weirdos get to be super weirdos.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 23/09/2026
We took Luna to meet her new sitter for when we’re out of town in a couple weeks. She felt comfortable enough to poop on his kitchen floor so seems like a perfect match.
Me and my dog Luna looking happy in the carMe and my dog Luna except her face is a blurMe and my dog Luna
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captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
people who don't believe in evolution have obviously never watched me eat an orange over the sink
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 22/09/2026
from the default gifs what's your favorite gif?
static.klipy.com
Wario's Frustrated Reaction in Mario Kart
Alt: Wario's Frustrated Reaction in Mario Kart
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 22/09/2026
I’m sorry, but this is the best song by The Fall.
music.apple.com
British People In Hot Weather by The Fall on Apple Music
Song · 1990 · Duration 3:08
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 21/09/2026
Really wishing I could subtract all of these ads.
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Merry-Go-Round Magazine @mgrmagazine.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
It's our Bandcamp Picks of the Week, featuring the sea breezed ambient stylings of MIRAGGI, David August's Argento project, out now via Music From Memory, as well as the all out Chicgao punk of Cel Ray's fiery CEL RAYZER, out now via @eisrecords.bsky.social! Read about both and listen to 'em today!
merrygoroundmagazine.com
Bandcamp Picks: Cel Ray & Argento - Merry-Go-Round Magazine
It's our Bandcamp Picks of the Week, featuring the sea breezed ambient stylings of MIRAGGI, David August's Argento project, as well as the all out Chicgao punk of Cel Ray's fiery CEL RAYZER!
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 20/09/2026
I love going to the bookstore and seeing my friends’ names on all the books.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 19/09/2026
Chicago still rendering.
A building disappearing into the fog.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 19/09/2026
Posting Luna on main.
My cute white schnauzer Luna.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 18/09/2026
There’s a jump scare in Zach Cregger’s Resident Evil that made me yell out loud, which made someone else laugh loudly. 10/10 movie going experience.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 18/09/2026
Took the day off for my birthday and to see Resident Eeeeeevil. Seeing Resident Eeeeeevil.
music.apple.com
Resident Evil by Friendship on Apple Music
Song · 2025 · Duration 4:13
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 18/09/2026
Celebrating 100 years of robots. Happy birthday to robots! Only been around for 100 years.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 18/09/2026
I took the day off work to go see Resident Evil. Happy birthday to me. (Belated.)
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David Cooper @davidbcooper.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
If the Virtual Boy had been popular, Nintendo would have followed it up by making a Real Boy.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 17/09/2026
I have a friend I lost touch with in my early twenties who messages me exactly once a year, on my birthday, and never says anything else. She will not take any questions or give me any new information. She’s been doing it for like 10 years now.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 16/09/2026
Just found out the Denny's close to our place is apparently where they film all Denny's commercials. It's a 41st birthday miracle!
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 16/09/2026
41
music.apple.com
Happy Birthday To Me by Cracker on Apple Music
Song · 1992 · Duration 3:31
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 16/09/2026
My dog pretending she’s in her indie “sweeze”* era. *(She talks like a baby.)
A floppy eared schnauzer lays her head on a pillow opposite a disco ball.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 16/09/2026
Hi, I’m your elder millennial co-worker. Yes, I can recite every word of Fuck the Pain Away by Peaches. No, I cannot do that in the office, BUT it is listed under the “skills” section of my resume.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 16/09/2026
I need Apple Music to let me pin more than 6 albums at a time.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 18/03/2026
Smells like
Bags of spinach at the grocery store. A sign says “TEEN SPINACH $5.99”
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 15/09/2026
Not to be a total bummer, but I’m really missing my sweet sweet boy today.
Me and my white schnauzer son smooshing our beards together. Me and my white schnauzer son smooshing our beards together.
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Sub Pop Records @subpop.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Looking to pre-save democracy? Today is National Voter Registration Day! Make sure you're registered in time for the General Election on Nov 3. Deadlines vary by state - visit vote.gov to know your state-specific rules and regs.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 15/09/2026
Hell yeah, free large popcorn for my birthday coupon. 41 is shaping up to be the best one yet! (My birthday is tomorrow, PLEASE save all happy birthdays until then)
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 15/09/2026
The weird choice mentioned being one of my favorite things this band does, and I was excited they used on more than two songs this time around. But also, I totally get it.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 15/09/2026
Really going to miss this part of prestige television.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 15/09/2026
Nepotism baby.
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Jack Probst @jackprobst.com · 15/09/2026
cat’s in the cradle… silver spoon… the moon… all that
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