Ian Ovenden
@ianovenden.bsky.social
47 followers 84 following 46 posts
Front-end specialist passionate about a web for everyone 🌏 Powered by Rock 🎸 Mexican food 🌮 and coffee ☕. Likes to play video games 🎮 and fall off bikes 🚲
Front-end specialist passionate about a web for everyone 🌏 Powered by Rock 🎸 Mexican food 🌮 and coffee ☕. Likes to play video games 🎮 and fall off bikes 🚲
![A cartoon by Stephen Collins. Script as follows:
1
THE SCENE: is BBC Television centre or wherever that is these days. HARRY STYLES is getting out of a limo to enter a studio. An autograph-hunting FAN accosts him.
Also, a DATE STAMP appears ‘on screen’, like it used to do in the X-files, reading:
OCTOBER, 2024: Maidstone Studios, England
FAN 1:
That’s Harry Styles!
FAN 2 [Approaching Harry]:
Can I have a selfie, Harry?
2
FAN:
What are you doing at Maidstone Studios on this finbe day in mid October, Harry?
3
HARRY STYLES:
Why, I’ve come here in mid-October to record ‘Jools Holland’s New Year Hoote-‘
4
*FSHW*
[Harry Styles is suddenly vaporised by a LASER BEAM]
5
[We see the culprit; a hi tech flying DRONE has zapped Mr Styles to death. The drone has a camera eye on the front of it]
6
[Cut to: JOOLS HOLLAND in his Hootenanny lair, watching a screen which has just alerted him to the elimination of Styles]
[Legend on screen]:
ARTIST ELIMINATED
HOLLAND:
Goddamn it
7
HOLLAND:
Why can’t they keep their mouths SHUT?
8
HOLLAND:
Tim Davie!
TIM DAVIE [Director General of the BBC]:
Y-yes Jools?
HOLLAND:
Who’ve we got left for this year?
10
TIM DAVIE:
The Boomtown Rats, one of Sister Sledge and Marc Almond
HOLLAND:
Almond *again*?
11
TIM DAVIE:
We’re running out of artists to call, sir…
M-must we keep killing… so many…?
HOLLAND:
You know the rules, Davie. The secret of the Hootenanny must be protected at all costs. All who divulge it…
12
HOLLAND [close up on his evil face, eye twitching]:
Must be eliminated](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibtcfluywrhxbnpooa5dcxr526hq474qcbio63di5dbctszzacezq)
