iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

chipotle being out of tortillas feels like the gas station being out of gas. like what are we even doing here?

kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

does Amazon have a stake in karaoke bars? this is like the third Amazon Prime romance novel adaptation that has added a karaoke scene to a story that did not have one originally

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

going back to work tomorrow after a 9 week leave and i feel totally normal and fine and calm about it

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

just put on make up for the first time in 2 months. everyone say "good job, kelsey" or else!!

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

is this a bad time to say i think i brought an iced coffee to the interviews for both of my professional jobs I've had in the last 10 years?

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

i would commit crimes for a breakfast burrito

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

grateful to live in a world where bacon jam exists

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

tried to Google if i would get carded for buying grenadine and it autocorrected to grenade so I'm pretty sure i am now on a gov watch list

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

yanno that glorious feeling when the book is so good that you stand up and do a little giggle and shimmy at the end of the chapter?! bc SAME

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

not to brag but I've had ✨ 2 ✨ servings of vegetables today

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

hospital gowns are fatphobic. they see my weight on my chart when i make the appointment, how you going to provide this mini dress and expect it to fit?

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

the air conditioning is out at the treatment center so not only do we have to talk about our traumas for 8 hours but everyone gets to look at my sweat stains while we do it

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

a depression playlist but it's actually all the songs I'm not allowed to listen to while I'm depressed

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

microdosing a crash out by playing music slightly louder than is polite in an apartment building and decluttering by just throwing things away instead of arranging to donate them

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

i am going to start a fucking petition to get the air and water show banned

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

if you live within a mile of the lake then you should get paid for pain and suffering during the air and water show

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

yes hello 911? i am out of treats, please send help

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

passing a new law that states it's illegal to make me do anything when it's 93% humidity

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

i think i'm nailing art therapy

Letters cut out from a magazine and arranged into the words "bitch what the fuck"

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

You're in her DMs, but I'm on ChatGPT asking how to stop being depressed.

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

i had sweat literally dripping down my neck on the train while the woman next to me wore a sweater. bitch HOW

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

hold on, let me consult my feelings wheel about it

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

starting something scary and hard today so everyone say "good job" to me please or i'll cry

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

don't forget to mouth kiss your cats before you leave for the weekend

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

feels unfair that I'm stressed, feeling guilty, and working super late to prepare to be away from work for a few weeks for my health, but Mitch McConnell can just fuck off from his job with no consequences

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Reposted by kelsey

The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

(Ludacris voice) Move, Mitch, get out the way. Get out the way, Mitch, get out the way.

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

I do not understand why people choose to hang out directly next other people when there are literally hundreds of feet of empty park space. I am the only person laying here in this huge span of space and yet you need to set up camp within 20 feet of me?

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Alexa, play "percolator" and make my ass shake.

A view of the Chicago skyline from the lake

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

i would commit murder, arson, and tax fraud for a klonopin rn

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

this is my third attempt in as many trips to this bar to split the G and I finally did it basically perfectly but nobody saw it bc I'm waiting on my friends so please celebrate with meeeeeeee

A glass of Guinness Zero with a perfectly split G.

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

An old politician having "a fall" is the same as a young celebrity being treated for "exhaustion" in that it is an explanation that means absolutely nothing

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

how it feels to be stuck in my dark bedroom dungeon with a migraine while people walk by window carrying beach gear to go hangout at the lake

screenshot of Squidward looking sadly out the window at SpongeBob and Patrick frolicking happily outside

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Reposted by kelsey

A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Saddened to hear my good friend the Finger Taker has passed away. I never agreed with him about amputating people's fingers in his dungeon, but I'll always remember the collegial good times, and most of all his great sense of humor. What laughs we had. Condolences to Ginny and his whole family.

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

someone make my brain stop being so mean to me

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

a REESE'S CUP CHOCO TACO from COLD STONE CREAMERY is this a JOKE is that REAL and how do i GET ONE right NOW

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

bologna is just a hot dog pancake

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Reposted by kelsey

bijan (spooky version) @bijan.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

every job i see these days is like: LEAD CONTENT ANALYST, Puppy Killing Factory (remote). $350,000 - $500,000. You will edit our internal newsletter (circulation 500). Associate Editor, Nonprofits, Global Good Magazine (in office, NYC). $27,000 - $28,000. Lead ALL of our fundraising efforts!

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Nobody is allowed to look at me until the heat index is back below 85. And yes, that is a threat.

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

good ol' cross stitch rot day check-in

A half finished, dark floral cross stitch. The top right half is clearly not complete, with green vines on a blank background. The blank part is meant to be filled in with black.

The same half finished, dark floral cross stitch as the first picture, but in dimmer lighting. The top right half has now been totally filled in with black stitches.

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kelsey @iamkelskels.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

if you're not supposed to hit curbs while parallel parking, then why are curbs bumper shaped?

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