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Lane Moore

@hellolanemoore.bsky.social
6.9K followers 302 following 1.7K posts

🎤Comedian: Tinder Live + Heartthrob Slasher 🩸LA 10/23 at Dynasty Typewriter, NYC - 11/20 at Twisted Spine🩸 📚Author: How To Be Alone, You Will Find Your People 💿Musician, FINAL GIRL out now 💌Subscribe: LaneMoore.Substack.com 💻 linktr.ee/hellolanemoore

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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 12h
"Facebook is full of bots!" Meta: no no! Look at our very real users, such as Mr. Message Me Directly Saying Pay Me $50K Now, who works in legal aid in Tacoma, Washington, and has a lovely wife named Mrs. Beth Me Directly Saying Pay Me $50K Now!"
Fb fan who seems very real about giving me 50k
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 13h
My mind remains un-boggled on this one, bud.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
PSA: I just inherited HUNDREDS of teen magazines from the 1990s and 2000s and the y2k goodness is so abundant that I’m gonna deep dive into all of them right here so if that’s something you’re into, HI I HOPE THIS FINDS YOU!!! substack.com/home/post/p-...
substack.com
I Inherited Hundreds of Y2K Teen Girl Magazines That Need To Be Shared
I cannot keep this nostalgic treasure-trove to myself.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 20h
Reminder that when you feel your mental health is particularly bad, you have full permission to take a sick day. Feeling mentally sick is the same thing as feeling physically sick, and it's ok if you need rest. I need this reminder often so I'm reminding you too.💗
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 20h
Reminder that when you feel your mental health is particularly bad, you have full permission to take a sick day. Feeling mentally sick is the same thing as feeling physically sick, and it's ok if you need rest. I need this reminder often so I'm reminding you too.💗
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I feel like I'm going insane hearing about Cornell and similar cases constantly, with no justice for us, ever. Women deserve to be protected by the laws we claim to have. If it's fully legal to harm us, just say that.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Sooo you know how I found HUNDREDS of teen magazines from the 1990s/2000s and I'm diving into the y2k nostalgia within their pages? Well, GOOD NEWS the first issue is ready for your eyes and inbox.🦋💌LaneMoore.Substack.com 🌻 If you wish you'd kept your old 90s / y2k magazines, GET THEM BACK NOW.🙏🌻
1996 seventeen magazine from lane's substack
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Yes yes yes!! bsky.app/profile/hell...
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I feel like I'm going insane hearing about Cornell and similar cases constantly, with no justice for us, ever. Women deserve to be protected by the laws we claim to have. If it's fully legal to harm us, just say that.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If you're furious that more abusers are getting away with it again and again and again, like they always do, and you cant take that fact, and you wish you could protect all women, and feel shut down and angry, you are not alone, my friend.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
goal: to be a stay-at-home mom with 0 children
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Ahem, a welcome distraction from the horrors: ISSUE NUMBER ONE OF MY *90s TEEN MAGAZINE* PROJECT IS HERE FOR YOUR INBOX PERUSAL🙏💌 bsky.app/profile/hell...
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Sooo you know how I found HUNDREDS of teen magazines from the 1990s/2000s and I'm diving into the y2k nostalgia within their pages? Well, GOOD NEWS the first issue is ready for your eyes and inbox.🦋💌LaneMoore.Substack.com 🌻 If you wish you'd kept your old 90s / y2k magazines, GET THEM BACK NOW.🙏🌻
1996 seventeen magazine from lane's substack
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I've been very depressed today about this Cornell case and I'm so tired of begging for basic human rights protections. BUT then I remembered how many survivors there are, and the power of our collective rage, our fighting for justice, and our solidarity with other survivors is our way out.💗
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If you're furious that more abusers are getting away with it again and again and again, like they always do, and you cant take that fact, and you wish you could protect all women, and feel shut down and angry, you are not alone, my friend.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It's all connected we've been trying to tell you. It's. All. Connected.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Every time I call out men who clearly hate women, someone says "you're being too hard on them." Never, throughout the history of time, have we been hard enough on men who hate women. That's literally the problem.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
"Everyone thought my pervert glasses were rapey, so I made an equally perverted ~animal necklace~ that secretly films women, so people can still be rapey, but even more covertly! I could do anything with my life and I do THIS!"
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Every time I call out men who clearly hate women, someone says "you're being too hard on them." Never, throughout the history of time, have we been hard enough on men who hate women. That's literally the problem.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Some people are still on Twitter 24/7 like they were in 2016 and part of me is jealous because I miss that feeling so much AND part of me will never understand how on earth you could do that in 2026???
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I posted on Twitter for the first time in a year because I have something big coming out, and someone asked why I "wasn't on here more?" I THOUGHT NONE OF US WERE ON TWITTER ANYMORE?? what is happening
static.klipy.com
Ilana How Am I
Alt: Ilana How Am I
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Yuppp. And they'll only put them at the top because they know they'll throw other people under the bus, and they can still claim diversity but surprise! They're still enacting the same evils that came before them.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Duuude. HEARTTHROB SLASHER is coming to Los Angeles + livestreaming, on October 23!!🔪🩸 Me and @marawilson.bsky.social play a 1980s board game full of hunks, and then improvise a horror movie where they all perish.🧛‍♀️ Tickets on sale now, go get em!🎃 calendar.dynastytypewriter.com/shows/heart-...
Heartthrob slasher with lane moore and mara wilson on october 23rd at 1030pm in los angeles and livestreaming everywhere
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
"Everyone thought my pervert glasses were rapey, so I made an equally perverted ~animal necklace~ that secretly films women, so people can still be rapey, but even more covertly! I could do anything with my life and I do THIS!"
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Wagatwe Wanjuki @wagatwe.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
really sad to see colleges are still protecting rapists. kudos to the students exposing Cornell's institutional betrayal.
cornellsun.com
EDITORIAL | Cornell Won’t, We Will
The Editorial Board demands that Cornell stops protecting the alleged Chi Phi rapists through the University's opaque sexual assault policies.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"Ah, New York City. The big apple! My home. My stomping grounds. The place I grew up, and found myself along the way."
Lights, chihuahua, on the nyc subway
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
NYC skies right now are apocalyptic as hell BUT there's a rainbow, which means the apocalypse will be gay.
Toxic sky with rainbow
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"Ah, New York City. The big apple! My home. My stomping grounds. The place I grew up, and found myself along the way."
Lights, chihuahua, on the nyc subway
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Duuude. HEARTTHROB SLASHER is coming to Los Angeles + livestreaming, on October 23!!🔪🩸 Me and @marawilson.bsky.social play a 1980s board game full of hunks, and then improvise a horror movie where they all perish.🧛‍♀️ Tickets on sale now, go get em!🎃 calendar.dynastytypewriter.com/shows/heart-...
Heartthrob slasher with lane moore and mara wilson on october 23rd at 1030pm in los angeles and livestreaming everywhere
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
POV you found thousands of teen magazines from the 1990s + 2000s📼 so you started a newsletter to share them with your ~internet friends~ who need nostalgia rn like they need air.🌻Writing the first one AS WE SPEAK so sign up to get it in ur inbox, like a sweet, sweet Seventeen Magazine in 1999.💌🥹
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Happy Bi Visibility Day to everyone who's attracted to all genders and is somehow still single. We defied the odds and won!!!
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Bi Visibility Day reminder that biphobia is toxic and boring. If someone asks you to pick a side, pick up your keys and leave. If someone says you're greedy, steal their car. If someone says it's just a stop on the way to being gay, steal all their pets and give them better lives.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
And then send them this bsky.app/profile/hell...
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Bi Visibility Day reminder that biphobia is toxic and boring. If someone asks you to pick a side, pick up your keys and leave. If someone says you're greedy, steal their car. If someone says it's just a stop on the way to being gay, steal all their pets and give them better lives.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Happy Bi Visibility Day to everyone who's attracted to all genders and is somehow still single. We defied the odds and won!!!
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
LITERALLY
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Your Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
elon musk buying a chunk of major movie studios for shits and giggles while every artist and writer I know is out here saying please subscribe, please buy my book, please leave a review, please support me with a few paltry dollars
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
True
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Oh ty! I almost posted without my glasses because I think I still have lingering feelings that "girls look better without glasses!!!" even though I know it's not true!
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
SO MANY PEOPLE have told me that in the 1990s and 2000s they had letters to the editor, makeovers, poems, all sorts of things published in teen magazines and if I can find any of these and get a story from the original contributors, this substack will find new heights of cool tbh!!!!
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
POV you found thousands of teen magazines from the 1990s + 2000s📼 so you started a newsletter to share them with your ~internet friends~ who need nostalgia rn like they need air.🌻Writing the first one AS WE SPEAK so sign up to get it in ur inbox, like a sweet, sweet Seventeen Magazine in 1999.💌🥹
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Get ‘em all in there. Musk, Bannon, Portnoy, Clavicular, Goldfinger, Thanos, Grand Mof Tarkin, Jafar from Aladdin, Andrew Tate’s brother, the bat that started Covid. They can all run Paramount. www.semafor.com/article/09/2...
semafor.com
Exclusive: Paramount weighs tapping Musk for equity investment
A cash injection from SpaceX billionaire Elon Musk could reduce investor Larry Ellison’s financial burden and bolster the deal’s investor base.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Every Meta ad is like "People say AI is bad? Well we're making as much AI as possible, stealing from people to make it. Because we believe in people. Don't think about it! We're giving AI to blind veterans. See? They're people. Veterans! Meta: How Could We Be Evil? We just said we're not."
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Can i show you the logo I made for my new Substack where i go through thousands of y2k teen magazines? I made it myself, without AI duh, and it makes my brain happy and i hope it makes yours happy too.💾💿
Teenagw lobotomy 90s logo
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Me too and me too!!
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 22/09/2026
DoorDash has ripped off more than 260,000 NYC delivery workers. We’re making them pay $131.5 million — the largest worker settlement in City history. This is New York, where hard work pays and greed will cost you.
DoorDash messed up.
They repeatedly left more than 260,000 NYC delivery workers underpaid or paid late, causing them immense stress and financial difficulty.
That's unacceptable.
We've secured a $131.5M settlement from
DoorDash - the largest worker settlement in NYC history and largest delivery worker settlement in
American municipal history.
Every worker will be paid what they are owed, and every company will be forced to abide by the laws of this city.

LOGOS:
The OFFICE of the MAYOR of NYC
NYC Consumer and Worker Protection Mayor Mamdani and Deliveristas representatives stand behind a podium.Mayor Mamdani signs a giant check.Three delivery workers holding a giant fake check for $131.5M.
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Can i show you the logo I made for my new Substack where i go through thousands of y2k teen magazines? I made it myself, without AI duh, and it makes my brain happy and i hope it makes yours happy too.💾💿
Teenagw lobotomy 90s logo
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Its so evil
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Deleting my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (my witch aunts cast a spell to find me love, which led me to a hot grocer who tragically died because of an ancestral curse, but then I meet another guy who was the result of a love spell I did as a child.)
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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Talking about how we lower out standards for what we need from friends and dating partners because the world tells us we’ll never find someone if we don’t, and how that comes back to haunt us, on the podcast. Listen at Patreon.com/LaneMoore now.👯‍♀️
quote from lane's podcast on patreon
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