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Baddy Longlegs

@hamspatula.bsky.social
663 followers 174 following 153 posts
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Reposted by Baddy Longlegs
Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Homer at the lesbian bar.
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
Ice cream trucks are required to play music so lactose intolerant individuals have time to hide.
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 29/08/2026
"I’m not trying to scare anyone, but the beer might be bitter, watery, and have virtually no notes of caramel or citrus. Trust me, people, if you try that stuff, you’re gonna freak out." buff.ly/9ICei7z
mcsweeneys.net
Sorry to Interrupt This Wilco Festival, but There Are Some Bad IPAs Going Around
“I’m not trying to scare anyone, but the beer might be bitter, watery, and have virtually no notes of caramel or citrus. Trust me, people, if you try that st...
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Qasim Rashid, Esq. @qasimrashid.com · 27/08/2026
REMINDER: Mitch McConnell hasn’t been seen or heard from in now 73 days. Yet he still: •Has his job •Gets paid, and •Gets free world-class healthcare The man who voted against a living wage, against universal healthcare, & against guaranteed paid leave—gets all three as he needs it most.😐
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David Brauer @dbrauer.net · 22/08/2026
I remember seeing Dachau and the shock of realizing it was in a Munich suburb. Tens of thousand passed by it, could smell it. They pretended not to know, but they complied. Those Germans were not unique.
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Bryan Schott @schotthappens.com · 07/08/2026
I saw someone refer to homeschooling as “trickle down stupidity.” Immediate addition to my lexicon.
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 14/07/2026
This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days. ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE.
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Crying laughing at this thread. People just asked me what’s wrong with me.
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
happy father’s day to all the dads who don’t listen to manosphere podcasts
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Chris Hayes @chrislhayes.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
The "hydration break" really is a perfect American capitalist innovation: a nakedly commercial play to insert more ad revenue into a game that doesn't have ads anywhere else in the world, all under the guise of some humanitarian interest in the players' wellbeing.
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Petra Korlević @petrathepostdoc.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
found a little buddy and brought her to a nice flower shrub, but why are her wings so mangled? :( #invertebrate
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David Brauer @dbrauer.net · 07/06/2026
We spent the winter defending our way of life and in a single June weekend — with pencil sharpening, Grand Old Day, Tour de Luce, Open Streets, Twins, Lynx, Saints, etc — we are living it.
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Qasim Rashid, Esq. @qasimrashid.com · 06/06/2026
Entering month 6 of Mamdani's NYC & Robberies are down 11%, Retail theft is down 19%, & Murder is down 21%—all without "Adding 5000 new cops." Instead, he's invested in public safety free childcare, food, and better funded schools. Safer cities come from investing in people—not punishments.
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Samuel ✡️ 🗽 @bluelion70.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
St. Louis taxpayers were still paying for the new stadium they built for the Rams until 2022… six years after the Rams moved to Los Angeles. Kudos to Gov. Pritzker for standing up to the Bears’ attempted extortion. These franchises should be building their own stadiums, not shaking down taxpayers.
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Rick and Tired @sameastheold.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
I want Hollywood to make a movie where a person with chronic pain that was denied medical care from their insurer, kidnaps the CEO and makes them experience all the same pain.
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 18/05/2026
"I would rather go to Costco on the Friday afternoon before a three-day weekend, with my preschooler, than grade your final papers."
buff.ly
I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Grade Your Final Papers
May 5 2022 5/1/23 5/17/26
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
To watch all the NFL games next year you'll need: CBS FOX NBC Peacock ESPN Amazon Prime Netflix Hulu Paramount Plus AppleTV Minus Disney ExactlyTheSame The Rice-a-Roni app LG Model 3120G Washer/Dryer with CleanSwish™ Tumble-Pro Technology 2000mg of LSD that allows you to access The Phantasma Realm
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Mark Tolman (he/him) 🏳️‍🌈 🖖 @mtolman.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
America didn’t turn ugly because he became President. No. He became President because America was already this ugly. That’s the uncomfortable truth nobody wants to admit.
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Baddy Longlegs @hamspatula.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Is it capitalism?
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
May the forth be with you! Chewbacca ate the Ewoks who refused to fuck him in the ass.
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Baddy Longlegs @hamspatula.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Fortunately there’s like 17 seasons or something
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MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 23/04/2026
Quite literally none of this math is accurate
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Bruce Lawson @brucel.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
When I was a teenager, I attended an early gig by The Specials, and was injured when they threw demo cassettes into the crowd. I still have the ska to prove it.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
In the same manifesto, Palantir's owners argued that we need a national military draft, that soft power is over, and that we were too hard on Germany and Japan after World War II. I don't think that company should be allowed to exist anymore.
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Or is it?
Handsome model water skiing in strait of Hormuz
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David Brauer @dbrauer.net · 15/04/2026
Fun fact: Time magazine is now owned by Marc Benioff, the tech oligarch who’s co-founder, chair & CEO of Salesforce. He’s notorious for asking the White House to send federal troops to San Francisco. www.politico.com/news/2025/10...
politico.com
‘Slap in the face’: Marc Benioff’s Trump turn stuns San Francisco
The tech billionaire's comments put the longtime Democratic ally at odds with city and state leaders.
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David Brauer @dbrauer.net · 14/04/2026
Hey terrible news! Mn Sen. Ann Rest has cut the HCMC-saving sales tax plan from 1% to .25%, hiked the Twins’ skim (from $7m to $9m, way above current $1.1m). The sales tax will fall far short of what HCMC needs, so will do more to save the Pohlads than the hospital. assets.senate.mn/committees/2...
assets.senate.mn
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Angry @angrystaffer.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
My HOA is two weeks away from obtaining a nuclear bomb
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Tail of a Nomad (T.) @tailofanomad.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
The fact that this went out and Congress hasn’t immediately convened for an emergency session show just how much trouble we’re in.
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
Remember that MLK said America suffers not just from "the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people."
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Baddy Longlegs @hamspatula.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
As an adult I am surprised how often I still call “Call & Oates” the emergency Hall & Oates hotline. 719-266-2837 Strongly recommended.
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wint @dril.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
sitting in traffic when a smart beautiful woman, w/an amazing personality, walks close by—about 5ft away. i lock my car doors out of respect
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David Simon @audacityofdespair.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
Step back a moment: The U.S. President just ordered his party to continue to paralyze air travel, which was made chaotic by that party's unwillingness to singularly consider or vote on reforms to immigration policing involving kidnapping and shooting unarmed people. American misrule is astonishing.
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David Brauer @dbrauer.net · 15/03/2026
Absolutely gutting story on Annunciation parents pouring their souls into enlightening legislators, knowing they’d the GOP brick wall. But the piece contains one of the most horrifying paragraphs an American parent could read; it will stay with me: www.startribune.com/in-living-ro... (gift)
From the Star Tribune: “The damage to Harper's body was so severe, we were not allowed to see her, hold her, or be with her body ever again," [her mother] said. "And then, months later, as the pews were removed from that church, more of her remains were found. We had to cremate our daughter a second time. Imagine receiving that
phone call. And then tell me, what is this gun for? Hunting?
There are other tools. Home defense? There are other tools.
What is this one for?"
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Baddy Longlegs @hamspatula.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
Oil just went to $1,000 per barrel 😂
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
These are the 4 things AI can do well: •Clean up your email inbox (badly) •Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party •Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself •Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday You can see why we need to base our economy around it
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Memento Mori @mementomori4950.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Politics of semantics 😏
The New York Times

U.S. and Israel Attack Iran

LIVE Updates

What to Know

Photos

Ma

Casts Doubt

Iran Says Dozens Are Killed in Strike on School

No Responsibility

The New York Times

U.S. and Israel Attack Iran

LIVE Updates 4m ago

What to Know

Photo

Stated as Fact

9 Killed in Israeli City Near Jerusalem After Iranian Missile Strike

Actor Named
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed." -Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1953
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
Americans, is there a Gordon Brown analogue in the US? I hope so. For those unaware, former UK PM Gordon Brown is on the warpath re Epstein & Mandelson. Read this: www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
theguardian.com
The PM who turned PI: why is Gordon Brown delving so deep into the Epstein files?
Brown is said to be driven by moral anger but insiders suggest he may feel guilty for bringing Peter Mandelson back into government
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
We are a few thousand subscribers away from being a bigger print newspaper than the Washington Post. We are a mere flurry away from humiliating one of the two Big Space Perverts. Ask not how a Space Pervert can dominate you. Ask how you can dominate a Space Pervert. Subscribe below.
membership.theonion.com
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
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Max Berger @maxberger.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
The State of the Union: the president is a corrupt demented sex criminal who tried to overthrow the constitution.
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AMF @anitafellows4.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
A Guardian analysis of government records has found that the vast majority – 77% – of people who entered deportation proceedings for the first time in 2025 had no criminal conviction, exposing a stark gap between the Trump administration’s rhetoric and reality.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
look at my country man, we’re getting out-No Kings’d by the fuckin’ british
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
Obv I’m against voter ID requirements. Unless you’re voting for Gavin Newsom in which case they should cover up the “organ donor” thing on your license so nobody gets your shitty organs
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Baddy Longlegs @hamspatula.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
Yep, if you don’t like my city gtfo of my city ❤️
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John Moe @johnmoe.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
If you've seen all the shit that's happened in the Twin Cities recently (Philando, George Floyd, Hortmans, Annunciation, ICE), seen how we've come together during that, seen how much we care about our home, and that DOESN'T make you love it here MORE? Then what the fuck is wrong with you? Go.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 17/02/2026
RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’ theonion.com/rfk-jr-time-in-hot-car…
RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’
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