Reposted by Griffin SchwartzTyler, from the Internet (Haunted) @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 05/10/2026can't park there mate 32661
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzGriffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 16/09/2026My “Bestiality is no longer automatically disqualifying” shirt is raising a lot of questions that the shirt doesn’t even begin to answer 031
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 13/09/2026Desperate Poilievre announces "Fuck A Fan" contestthebeaverton.comDesperate Poilievre announces "Fuck A Fan" contestOTTAWA - With his Conservative Party trailing the governing Liberals by double digits in recent opinion polling, a desperate Pierre Poilievre today announced his latest plan to boost his popularity: a... 2019032
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzmcc @dryad.technology · 01/09/2026This is the single biggest physics discovery of my entire lifetime. Or something's wrong with one of the cables. One of the two 9961201239
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzoblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 02/09/2026 combat hit grunt 15822
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Conservative guy travelling back in time to kill baby FDR 010
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 03/08/2026What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening? Just a weird guy. 000
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzdr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 12/07/2026you should mourn them and theirs in the way that they would mourn you and yours 645972
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 02/06/2026*Seeing my walls bleed after I commit a murder* Is that Good 010
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 13/05/2026It’s actually pretty good you should check it out @yourkickstartersucks.com 010
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzoblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 07/05/2026I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than you! 03313
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzMichael Schulman @michaelschulman.bsky.social · 01/04/2026And now another reason not to touch the stuff: the strong possibility that you will end up plagiarizing, whether you know it or not. But it was the "that is going to go away" attitude that rankled the most. That's the tech credo: anything that takes time or I don't understand must be obsolete. 51505127
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 25/03/2026Wrote about some really personal stuff 👇 010
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzMichael Hobbes @michaelhobbes.bsky.social · 23/03/2026I'm always struck by the refusal of otherwise literate adults to distinguish between annoying and dangerous when it comes to bikes. Water is wet and cyclists are less dangerous than cars for pedestrians! Not debatable! 36123996
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 18/03/2026So uhhh I did a thing… (clogged the toilet in this story) 012
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 18/03/2026Public bathroom out of soap, toilet paper, lightbulbsthebeaverton.comPublic bathroom out of soap, toilet paper, lightbulbsMONTREAL - Sources today confirmed that a public bathroom in Mount Royal Park has completely run out of soap, toilet paper, functioning faucets, and lightbulbs. 913219
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzMayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 13/03/2026Let there be as much outrage from politicians in Washington when kids go hungry as there is when I break bread with New Yorkers. 18556478511943
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzDamien Moule @damienmoule.bsky.social · 28/02/2026He also says "I live in a decent neighbourhood, you know, families". I know we've all heard this so many times that we're a bit numb to it but I just want to say this is a call for the city government to segregate and only govern for a certain class and it's not compatible with liberal democracy. 79916
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 12/02/2026@cheekface.bsky.social should play Super Bowl half time show 040
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 09/02/2026USA wins gold at Super Bowlthebeaverton.comUSA wins gold at Super BowlSANTA CLARA, CA - Team USA is triumphantly announcing their third gold medal since the start of the Milano-Cortina Winter Olympics, in the much-watched Super Bowl event. 719822
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 02/02/2026Probably the most disturbing Epstein email I’ve seen so far is the one he sent to @yourkickstartersucks.com asking JF and DB if they eat their poop with a knife and fork or with their hands. 000
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzoblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 10/01/2026You've done good work here! Now, please, don't hurt me. 0115
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Just finished writing my mystery novel called The Lies We Kept Secret. It’s 400 pages long and it fucking sucks . 010
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzoblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 06/12/2025Shouldn't you be feeding the prisoners, slop drudge? 0115
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 21/11/2025Trump is completely floundering here because he is in uncharted territory. He’s literally never had to contend with a Democrat who is both popular and charismatic lol. 070
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 31/10/2025Blue Jays, Dodgers cause mass confusion by dressing up as each other for Halloween world series gamethebeaverton.comBlue Jays, Dodgers cause mass confusion by dressing up as each other for Halloween world series gameTORONTO - The Toronto Blue Jays and Los Angeles Dodgers caused mass confusion across North America today as they each dressed up as the other team for today’s World Series game that coincides with Hal... 15591102
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzZohran Kwame Mamdani @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social · 25/10/2025POLLS ARE NOW OPEN. Find out where you early vote ⬇️ 🗳️ findmypollsite.vote.nyc 522187054010
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 06/10/2025Nobel Prize in Medicine awarded to hospital administrators for breakthroughs in surlinessthebeaverton.comNobel Prize in Medicine awarded to hospital administrators for breakthroughs in surlinessOSLO - Today the Nobel committee announced that they have awarded this year’s prize in Physiology or Medicine to everyone who works as an administrator in a hospital for breakthroughs in surliness and... 29610
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzoblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 02/10/2025How did you get in here? What are you doing here? 031
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 24/09/2025Landlord claims space under porch counts as second bedroomthebeaverton.comLandlord claims space under porch counts as second bedroom35 Minutes Away From Where You’d Ideally Like To Live - Frank Moriarty, the landlord of the apartment you took the afternoon off from work to view, told you today that the space under the front porch ... 221536
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 03/09/2025Pedestrian walking in road because cyclist riding on sidewalk because car parked in bike lanethebeaverton.comPedestrian walking in road because cyclist riding on sidewalk because car parked in bike laneTORONTO - Eyewitnesses today confirmed reports that a pedestrian was walking in the road because a cyclist was riding on the sidewalk because a car was parked in the bike lane. 131030313
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 18/08/2025Bruce Fanjoy wins Battle River-Crowfoot by-electionthebeaverton.comBruce Fanjoy wins Battle River-Crowfoot by-electionCAMROSE, AB - In yet another shocking electoral upset, Conservative leader and former Member of Parliament Pierre Poilievre has somehow been defeated once again in today's by-election by Liberal MP Br... 22547105
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzoblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 13/08/2025Guards! Guards! Someone's being attacked! 1167
Reposted by Griffin Schwartzoblivion.txt @oblivion-txt.bsky.social · 28/07/2025M'aiq knows much, tells some. M'aiq knows many things others do not. 085
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 16/07/2025Newly discovered Shakespeare folio reveals lost play 'Dracula vs. Frankenstein' thebeaverton.com/2025/07/newl...thebeaverton.comNewly discovered Shakespeare folio reveals lost play 'Dracula vs. Frankenstein'Stratford, England - Shakespeare Birthplace Trust archivists today announced their discovery of a lost Shakespeare folio for a play entitled “Dracula vs. Frankenstein.” 312721
Reposted by Griffin SchwartzThe Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 15/06/2025Poilievre can't believe he hung out with Jordan Peterson for nothing thebeaverton.com/2025/06/poil...thebeaverton.comPoilievre can't believe he hung out with Jordan Peterson for nothingOTTAWA - Former member of Parliament Pierre Poilievre today bemoaned the interview he gave to Jordan Peterson, saying he can’t believe he hung out with him for a whole afternoon only to have it all to... 12540105
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 08/02/2025Getting the severance procedure twice so that my innie is an outtie to a second innie 010
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 30/11/2023Applauding when the flight attendant comes by with the drink cart 020
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 11/10/2023The first thing they teach you in a physics PhD program is that it’s actually safe and good to put metal in the microwave 👍 020
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 02/10/2023Wearing a cock ring because I just got cock-engaged 😃 000
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 13/09/2023Excited to share that I have finally finished my feature length screenplay 😃 010
Griffin Schwartz @griffinschwartz.bsky.social · 13/09/2023For sale: clown nose, never honka honka’d. 000
